Quick, nerd, hit this inhaler, The Avengers has a new trailer. From Marvel, the newest trailer for The Avengers (which, incidentally, is now called “Marvel Avengers Assemble” in the UK to avoid confusion with the 60s TV series – haha, suck it, England) begins with Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury saying somberly, “War has started. And we are hopelessly outgunned.” And that’s where The Avengers come in. The implication being, the world needs a miracle! QUICK, BRING IN THE BOW AND ARROW GUY AND THE CHICK WITH THE BIG TITS WHO KNOWS JIU-JITSU!
I’m just kidding, you guys. You know I’ll watch anything that involves rocket hands.
When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, Director of the international peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins
[HD available at Apple.com, opens May 4th]
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“Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins”
…Someone clearly hadn’t met their quota for use of the word “daring”
Or “globe.” They’re all American. Except Thor I guess.
Isn’t Hulk holed up in Canada or South America?
A giant green Hulk, The God of Thunder, a rich playboy with an awesome metal suit, a dude who shoots arrows, an athletic dude with a fancy shield, and a martial artist with a sidearm.
Otherwise known as… the night shift at Denny’s.
Gonna be some sweet sounds coming down on the Night Shift.
Everyone knows Black Widow is only there as ‘the gay breaker’. They didn’t want the world’s best super hero team being a complete sausage party.
So apparently Hawkeye does absolutely nothing in this film other than falling from a building.
And provide comic relief.
He has a 2 minute dance scene trying to woo Scarlett like Van Dam in Kickboxer
Did Renner have a line in that trailer? I just saw a few shots of him posing.
ricky ricky ric chair yall
So I take it that Robin Scherbotsky moved out of Teds place and found a job with SHIELD?
“THE CHICK WITH THE BIG TITS WHO KNOWS JIU-JITSU!”
Never underestimate the power of big tits.
They appeared to be the draw to get Dr. Banner to come along.
HULK MOTORBOAT.
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Ugh, Ban me already. I wanted to post a YouTube clip about the power of big tits, particularly Black Widow’s. Sorry….
Daring recruitments that span the globe is Hero-speak for flying coach from NYC to Southern California due to budget cutbacks.
If anything, at least we get to watch Cobie Smulders in something without having to listen to Josh Randor’s whiny voice.
If this is the UK trailer where are all the crumpets?
The Mighty Feklahr was compelled by the “Daring Flying Monster Train The Size Of The Baxter Building”. DARING.
Guy’cha, The Hulk, after catching Iron Man, should have spun around and chucked him at the nearest evil robot like a psychotic, unrelenting short stop. Da Increbawl Nomah Garciaparrar!
/wahlberged
In the Justice Society/Justice League I find it hard to believe that no one ever turned to Batman and asked, “So, you’re just a full-on fucking psychopath, huh?”
“Then I jizzed. In. My. Pants.”
You know I’ll watch anything that involves rocket hands.
Yet, you still haven’t reviewed my remake of Citizen Kane using only the dismembered body parts of the 1980 Saturday Night Live cast. For shame, Mancini. For shame.
Funny. “Rocket hands” is the usual symptom of seeing ScarJo in tight leather.
I’m willing to bet that the majority of the dialogue from the Avengers was taken from the Miami Heat locker room during the 2010 season.
Scarlett Johanssen looks like Harry Rednapp. Big boobs aside, am I the only one who doesn’t think she’s hot?
I love me some Capt. America goofy face.
Yes! More Bow Boy and Gun Girl!
Are those Skrulls? Is that clear to anyone yet?
So that big thing that Iron Man is leading back to them at the end of the trailer….I’m assuming is supposed to be the Midgard Serpent?
Just how exactly does a martial artist and the equivalent of the red-shirted security guys from Star Trek capture the Hulk if he doesn’t want to play?