Aside from being notoriously wiry (I can neither defend nor deny the fact that I will watch The Replacements every damned time it comes on HBO), Rhys Ifans has a bit of a history when it comes to reeking of booze and smacking people around. As evidenced by his arrest this summer at Comic Con, where he was described as drunk and “berating everyone from the security staff to the United States of America.”

I like that about him, because I think a guy who looks like Rhys Ifans should be reeking of booze and insulting America. That’s why he got hired to play The Lizard King or whatever in The Amazing Spider-Man. He apparently lived up to his reputation early yesterday morning at a BAFTA after party in his hotel room, where, according to a first-hand account by Creative director of the King’s Head theatre, Adam Spreadbury-Maher (via HolyMoly), Ifans just started slapping some random dude. Which we all know is unacceptable unless they’ve just made a fresh comment about your bustle.

‘We were at the Groucho when we ran into Dominic [Cooper]. We were drinking and then we all went back to the [St Pancras] hotel. There were a few of us, all actors and performers. That was around 3am. We were in a hotel room with Dominic, then there was knock at the door inviting us to another party. Some girls took Dominic to the party and then he came back and said, “Come on guys, there’s a great party happening down here.”

‘It was about half four in the morning. Dominic’s room was in the eaves but this was a much larger suite but on the same floor.
‘It was a massive, beautiful suite. It must have been the largest room in the hotel. It was Rhys Ifans and Anna Friel’s and there were between 30 and 50 people there.
‘I did not know who Rhys was but my friends told me he was a film star and host of the party. They invited us all in and were really lovely and then Rhys went mental and started on my friend.
‘He was slapping him round the face and shoving him. It was pretty terrible. It was completely random. Everyone was having a lovely time. We were invited in and then he just went silly about 20 minutes after  we arrived.
‘He made a beeline for him and started shoving him saying, “What the f*ck are you doing here? You’re a joker. Who the fuck are you?”

‘He slapped him quite a few times. I think he was trying to make himself feel like a big man. He went nuts. It was as though he was in a bubble and he didn’t realise people were watching.
‘We then left, got into a cab and went home. It was quite late. I called the police in the cab on the way home. I was livid. I said that my friend had been hit and I wanted to report it to the police. I believe I named Rhys. The police told me they couldn’t do anything about it until the morning.
‘I think it’s unreasonable someone can behave like that.’ [via HolyMoly]

Man, sensitive little theater director with a precious hyphen name and a piss drunk rogue like Rhys Ifans, this was a recipe for disaster from the beginning. They should be in a sitcom. I bet slapping guys around and saying ‘loogit this joker’ is just a term of endearment in Rhys Ifans’ world. The only shocker is that he didn’t call anyone a c*nt. Just look at that shirt. It doesn’t even have a collar or buttons. It looks like its only purpose was to collect chest hair, cigarette ash, and booze musk.