"Georgie needs the potty."
George Lucas has been on a good vibes publicity tour trying to get people to see him as human and not as The Monster Who Ruined Star Wars ever since the run up to Red Tails. To my surprise, it actually seemed to be working, and people were buying his line of BS that black people need crappy movies too and that his uncredited remake of that other Tuskeegee Airmen movie was actually a victory for Civil Rights. But today his 3-D Episode I re-release gets re-released, and it’s nice to have the old Lucas back, the one who needs endless money to fill his neck pouch and molests children’s dreams on his Racecar Bed, with cat bones strewn about the room.
Just to drive the point home, he’s back talking about how Greedo shot first. Only now he says Greedo ALWAYS shot first, and if you thought otherwise, you were just confused.
THR: People can get fanatical about the movies — how does that make you feel? The puppet vs. CGI Yoda ruckus, and the who-shot-first, Han Solo or Greedo furor come to mind.
Lucas: Well, it’s not a religious event. I hate to tell people that. It’s a movie, just a movie. The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down. [THR]
Really, dude? They didn’t want him to be “a cold-blooded killer,” they wanted him to be a guy who could sense danger ahead of time and had enough of an edge to do something about it. The new way, he’s just a guy who’s lucky that aliens can’t shoot worth a damn. I agree with the part about it being wildly overrated though. That’s basically what he was saying, right?
DEAR FANS: Quit being so fanatical about the six-part movie I’m releasing in theaters for the third time. Don’t see it, don’t take your kids to see it, just stop letting me milk money from this thing altogether. I’m already super rich! Sincerely, George.
That’s how I read it, anyway.
Photo credit: cinemafestival / Shutterstock.com
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Storm-Trooper-middle-fingers-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/patton-oswalts-star-wars-filibuster-from-parks-and-rec-is-spectacular-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Star-wars-Comic2-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/disney-plans-stand-alone-star-wars-movies-about-han-solo-boba-fett-150x150.jpg)
He pretty much tells the kitty’s the same thing, “Kitty Cat, I am not a cold blooded killer, you shot first.” *Bites off head*
4 reasons why you should try— uniformedkiss **c 0’ m –
1) The largest military dating site
2) 10+ years experience of online dating service
3 Free to browse and place photo ads
4) Lots of servicemen and beautiful women on the site
Thanks for your attention and maybe you want to check out my photos there firstly, lol~
George plans on cementing his status as friend of the blacks by digitally replacing Chewbacca with Madea.
COUGH-jarjarbinks-COUGH
Man who releases self-proclaimed movie that’s a civil rights victory re-releases movie filled with racial stereotypes – in 3D!
He’s a friend to African-Americans. God help you if you’re Jamaican, though…
Awesome. I suppose that Vader always shouted NOOOOOOO and I was temporarily hard of hearing.
“Jar-jar Binks was always an integral part of the series. Without him, there would be no episodes IV – VI. What I did was try to illustrate this through an irritating voice/CGI face, but obviously it upset people because they wanted the movies to be good”
…and here come ‘The Good Shepherds’…
Can we get a Clooney or Baby Goose pic in the next post to balance out the last 2?
“Neck Pouch Money” is the name of my new band.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world Greedo shot first…
in the original he knew what was coming so he killed before being killed. it was a huge point for the character’s personality. it didn’t make him cold, it made him a no bullshit rogue.
Also, Luke always knew he and Leia were related. It’s just in space, there’s only so many girls to go around, you know?
“Well, it’s not a religious event. I hate to tell people that. It’s a movie, just a movie.”
Says the obsessive-compulsive lunatic so fixated on the minutiae of these movies that he thought it completely necessary to digitally erase Vader’s eyebrows from a single scene at the end of Jedi.
One has to imagine that Lucas gets off to fucking with his fan base.
Every morning, Lucas’ servant who looks suspiciously like a much older, soul crushed Short Round brings a stack of papers and jar of mayonnaise up to his bedroom. George reads all the hate filled comments about Star Wars and Indiana Jones and proceeds to vigorously masturbate until climaxing onto the last Master prints of the original series.
The mayo is stored in his throat pouch for later consumption as stomping on the childhood memories of an entire generation of movie going public takes a lot of energy. The creamy tang of mayo is a perfect compliment to this.
The one thing I appreciate that Lucas says pretty consistently is “stop being such a bunch of nerds and get laid.” Or, that’s the gist of it anyway.
Lucas has been making shit up for years. I’m still waiting for Star Wars episodes VI to IX. He said it was a nine part series. Right? It must be true.
I give Lucas credit for one thing only and that’s his pretty consistent approach his work as “I’m a fucking filmmaker and I’m out to get something done not create some sad fantasy for 20,30,40 and 50 year old virgins.”
But I loathe hypocrites and so for that he’s a douche. I suppose it is believable that, in a world where 200 Storm Troopers can’t hit an untrained teenager running away from them with a helpless damsel in tow, someone could miss the face of someone else sitting two feet in front of them.
But the awkward CGI head movement of Harrison Ford and the dialogue that immediately precedes the moment give pretty clear indications that the scene was one thing before, and it’s another way after. I’d feel less angry about it if he just said “I made the movie and I didn’t like it the way it was before. So I went back and fixed it because whatever, fuck you, you’ll still pay to see it.”
Actually, his approach is to keep milking the one thing he gets credit for because he’s either unwilling or incapable of creating something new (probably because he wasn’t the one who wrote Star Wars to begin with). That means he’ll just continue tinkering and fiddling with something that’s been done and finished for decades, just so he can re-re-re-re-release it and ask more money for that thing we’ve all seen already.
So the fact is, he’s the “sad old virgin” who can’t leave well enough alone and tries to deflect valid criticism by pretty much insulting his fanbase, the people he depends on for making each unnecessary re-release another success.
After the rumor mill started going haywire from Corey Feldman’s veiled accusations, your ‘molesting children on race car beds’ line takes on a whole new significance.
more like George “mucus.” yoi yoi yoi yoi
“Well, it’s not a religious event. I hate to tell people that. It’s a movie, just a movie.” And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head back to my secluded, gated filmmaker retreat called Skywalker Ranch and maybe paddleboat across Lake Ewok to clear my mind.
Back in the 1940s and 50s, there used to be Saturday matinees where kids would line up and pay 10 cents to watch Flash Godron and Buck Rogers. Or the Lone Ranger. However, before every episode, they would have a brief recap of what had happened in the previous episodes.
One might think that there could be somebody who had just finished directing a film like American Grafffiti and wanting to do a fun throwback to those days of Saturday matinees rather than create a premise for so-called prequels. And if Lucas had chosen a totally different number than “Episode IV” to put up during ths opening crawl, God knows how much money he could have sucked from people.
I’m just waiting for the next Howard the Duck….
Whatever helps you sleep at night Georgie. But as a Star Wars atheist, don’t you worry about my having a religious experience at a theatre near me.
a) If I were a bagazillionaire, I would shell out for a hard core neck lift. I mean, come on!
b) 123abc dude, I will totally check out your porn site, but only if you rename it uninformed kiss.