Armie Hammer’s Mirror Mirror poster redefines missed opportunity

I took this picture inside a theater lobby in San Francisco. It’s a poster for Mirror Mirror (Tarsem Singh’s batshit take on Snow White, not to be confused with the Hot Topic take on same starring Kristen Stewart, Snow White & the Huntsman) starring our favorite popped collar preppy, Armie Hammer.

Without resorting to unwarranted hyperbole, can I just say that THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING! (*kicks cat off coffee table*) The poster designer had the BEST tagline of ALL TIME staring him SQUARE IN THE FACE! It was TWO LETTERS away! How many people had to approve this photo before it went to print? Two? Five? Ten? That even ONE let this slip by without IMMEDIATELY changing the tagline to “ARMIE OF ONE” is literally the worst thing since puppy cancer. If I were involved in the making of this poster in any way, I would’ve demanded it be changed and then resigned in protest if I was overruled. That’s a little something we used to call “integrity.”

Christ, I have to do everything around here. There. Now it’s like a recruiting poster for the aristocracy. (Though the real Armie would never wear a jacket like that. He considers a waistcoat with such an excessive amount of buckles to be vulgar and nouveau-riche. The collar is tight though.)

I thought I should include this for some reason.

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