This Week in Posters: I hate you so much, Iron Lady.

THE OCEAN IS DIAGONAL! At this point I should start counting the posters that don't have inexplicably diagonal horizon lines. If this film loses less than $50 million, I will be very sad.

So... the exit strategy is to... vacuum that guy's head? It doesn't seem like you've really thought this through. Or that you know how vacuums work. And wait a second, are you telling me that "Big Boy" and "Big Boi" are two separate people? Every single thing about this is confusing.

Hey, QDeezy. I know you probably think you're cool and all, but no one's above the "U after Q" rule.

Nic Cage, so intense, so aflame. Why, it's almost as if he's on fire with the spirit of fiery vengeance. Also, the French makes it seem so much classier. "L'esprit de Vengeance. " It could almost be an upscale nightclub.

See, now that's how you make a poster. Bats with rusty nails in them? I'm in. It even inspired me to look up the trailer. Unfortunately, no bats with nails in them, but it does have Paul Giamatti. Call it a wash?

Something about the way the Lorax is drawn I find inexplicably appealing (maybe it's that it kind of looks like an otter?), much like a muppet. The fact that Frank Reynolds' voice will be coming out of it is just gravy.

I assume there's some cutesy inside joke that explains the misspelled title. We call that the "Pursuit of Happyness" in the business. They also did it in the Precious credits, which was actually kind of embarrassing to watch.

Here's a whole batch of posters for the Star Wars Episode I 3D re-release, most of them as half-assed as the idea of releasing Episode I in 3D itself. Ooh, floating heads in the shape of a light sabre? Jeez, you really outdid yourself on that one. My question: what person doesn't know Episode I sucks by now?

Aw, dammit, don't tell me WIND energy has a dark side to it now too. If I watch three more documentaries, I'm going to be living in a cave eating moss.

Wind power… it’s sustainable … it burns no fossil fuels…it produces no air pollution. What’s more, it cuts down dependency on foreign oil. That’s what the people of Meredith, in upstate New York first thought when a wind developer looked to supplement the rural farm town’s failing economy with a farm of their own -- that of 40 industrial wind turbines. WINDFALL, a beautifully photographed feature length film, documents how this proposal divides Meredith’s residents as they fight over the future of their community. Attracted at first to the financial incentives that would seemingly boost their dying economy, a group of townspeople grow increasingly alarmed as they discover the impacts that the 400-foot high windmills slated for Meredith could bring to their community as well as the potential for financial scams. With wind development in the United States growing annually at 39 percent, WINDFALL is an eye-opener that should be required viewing for anyone concerned about the environment and the future of renewable energy. [officialsite]

Dammit! I thought I was being hyperbolic and clever when I wrote that first bit. It's even worse than I thought. Terry Gilliam needs to finish his Don Quixote movie so it can kill this movie with a lance.

The Words- it's almost as if Bradley Cooper's beautiful face inspires people to poetry, to say nothing of the color of his eyes, unable to be reproduced in nature. Me, I hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.

[posters via IMPA]