George Lucas had been trying to get The Artist made with a black dog for years, but the studios wouldn’t have it. They wanted a shaker, not a jitterbug.
Sure he’s cute now, but then they always are. It’s always doggie bow-ties and skateboards until one morning you wake up and find out he raped you and copied your itunes music.
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Despite all the critical acclaim, Uggie is facing retirement. At 9, he doesn’t have any other gigs lined up,
He’ll have plenty of time to learn a 21st trick: urinating on a picture of Andy Serkis.
“We also have a Dalmation. Half of it has that shaking thing, but parts of it like to play basketball and eat bbq ribs.”
George Lucas had been trying to get The Artist made with a black dog for years, but the studios wouldn’t have it. They wanted a shaker, not a jitterbug.
He had a rough childhood, like Mark Wahlberg
Wahlburgers is even naming a combo meal after him, the Uggie: one hotdog on a slider with a vanilla shake.
Sure he’s cute now, but then they always are. It’s always doggie bow-ties and skateboards until one morning you wake up and find out he raped you and copied your itunes music.
Kim Novak probably can’t keep her eyes off Uggie’s junk.
Although Uggie does not speak English or use a phone, he does have his own Twitter account.
He’s like the Gary Busey of actors!
Look at the size of that unit. Are you sure that’s not just Tom Brady”s kid?
He’s not an actor, he’s more of a reactor.
And only Kuato and Quaid can start him!
That dog raped my shin.
Andy Serkis is really bent on getting that Oscar by any means necessary (I know a CGI mo-cap dog when I see one)
Sure, he looks convincing now, but let’s see how he emotes when covered in ping pong balls. It just doesn’t read dog, you know?
This dickstep brought to life by Andy Serkis.
Climbing into someone’s garden and biting a goat is how Gary Busey broke into the film industry as well.
White Dog II: Electric Boogaloo
Better 26 years late than never:
Thrashin’ II: Jack Russel Scarier
Gleam the cube, dude. Just gleam the cube.
Barky Bark & The Funky Lunch
An elderly, grizzled Jack Russell is Shake Plissken in Escape from the Pound.
My dog loves to chase other dogs and skateboards. If this happened outside his window, his little doggie head would ‘splode.
That dog is more talented than I am and that is in no way depressing.
He had a rough childhood, like Mark Wahlberg (“Get out of owah gahden, ya stinky awriental goat!”)
SAY HELLO TO YOUR MUTHA’ FOR ME.
Huh. Way fewer rape jokes than I would have expected in the comments section of this post.
Billy Crystal- and the winner for best supporting actor is…Uggie!
Uggie- bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Billy Crystal- what’s that? Your Oscar is stuck at the bottom of the well?
*bowtie spins, dog sprays seltzer bottle at Billy.