Pictured: They don't know how she does it.
And now for your daily dose of easy Schadenfreude, the top 15 flops of 2011. While it’s easy and fun to tap dance on the grave of most of these ass piles (pour a little rum out for The Rum Diary – *I* liked it), remember: justice won’t truly be served until everyone involved in the making of New Year’s Eve gets shot out of a cannon.
1. Mars Needs Moms
Studio: Disney
Release Date: March 11, 2011
Budget: $150 million
Worldwide Gross: $39 million
2. Sucker Punch
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens
Release Date: March 25, 2011
Budget: $82 million
Worldwide gross: $89.8 million
3. Arthur
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Garner
Release Date: April 8, 2011
Budget: $40 million-plus
Worldwide Gross: $45.7 million
4. Green Lantern
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively
Release Date: June 17, 2011
Budget: $200 million
Worldwide Gross: $219.9 million
5. Cowboys & Aliens
Studio: DreamWorks/Universal
Stars: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford
Release Date: July 29, 2011
Budget: $163 million
Worldwide Gross: $178.8
6. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie
Studio: Fox
Stars: Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Darren Criss
Release Date: Aug. 12
Budget: $9 million
Worldwide Gross: $18.7 millon
7. Conan the Barbarian
Studio: Lionsgate
Stars: Jason Momoa, Rose McGowan
Release Date: Aug. 19
Budget: $90 million
Wordwide Gross: $48.8 million
8. I Don’t Know How She Does It
Studio: Weinstein
Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear
Release Date: Sept. 16
Budget: $24 million
Worldwide Gross: $30.5 million
WHO COULD’VE GUESSED THAT AUDIENCES WOULDN’T BE LINING UP AROUND THE CORNER TO WATCH SARAH JESSICA PARKER PLAY SUPER SOCCER MOM???
9. The Thing
Studio: Universal
Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2011
Budget: $38 million
Worldwide Gross: $27.4 million
10. The Big Year
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Stars: Steve Martin, Jack Black, Owen Wilson
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2011
Budget: $41 million
Worldwide Gross: $7.4 million
11. The Rum Diary
Studio: GK Films
Stars: Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart
Release Date: Oct. 28, 2011
Budget: $45 million
Worldwide Gross: $21.6 million
:-(
12. Anonymous
Studio: Sony (U.S., most foreign territories)
Stars: Rhys Ifans, Vanessa Redgrave, David Thewlis
Release Date: Oct. 28, 2011
Budget: $30 million
Worldwide Gross: $14.8 million
13. Tower Heist
Studio: Universal
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick
Release Date: Nov. 4, 2011
Budget: $75 million
Worldwide Gross: $126.3 million
No solid gold Ferraris for the producers! ZING!
14. Happy Feet Two
Studio: Warner bros.
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2011
Budget: $135 million
Worldwide Gross to Date: $115 million
15. New Year’s Eve
Studio: New Line/Warner Bros.
Stars: Ashton Kutcher, Zac Efron, Lea Michele, Halle Berry, Josh Duhamel
Release Date: Dec. 9, 2011
Budget: $56 million
Worldwide Gross to Date: $54.9 million
[Via HollywoodReporter]
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“Let’s take a look, see what we got.”
/opens up the hood of Sucker Punch
//points at Jena Malone
“There’s your problem right there.”
/wipes greasy hands on dirty towel
Jena Malone used to be indie hot back in the day, I don’t care what anyone says.
Jena Malone is a flat chested goblin. Never got what the appeal was for her.
If I’ve never watched any of these films, does that make me part of the 99%? Math was never my strong suit.
Thanks for the picture of Sarah Jessica Parker next to the girl in the green bikini.
You just turned me off nipples for life.
*takes swig from whiskey bottle*
I watched these movies.
*single tear drips from eye*
I watched ‘em.
Oh, god, that’s sad. Even I’m sympathetic to your plight.
It’s not your fault.
Fucking Florida. Can’t even kill yourself right.
I stick to my comment that I’d happily go see New Years Eve if it was a film about a serial killer knocking off each person listed on that fucking poster.
The only one on this list I actually saw was Conan and I’m disappointed it didn’t take up all 15 spots.
And FYI Sarah Jessica Parkers world wide gross is grosser than most.
So doing some quick Internet “research” and “math” I came up with the following…
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was made in 1937 with a budget of about $1.5 million. Factoring inflation takes that number up to pretty much $22.5 million in today’s dollars.
Mars Needs Moms had a budget of $150 million dollars.
Mars Needs Moms had a budget of $150,000,000.
Mars Needs Moms had a budget of $150 MILLION DOLLARS.
I guess what I’m trying to say is “What the fuck?”.
1937: Walt pays his non-union animators like $30 a week with 50 hours of unpaid overtime. He pays the “paint girls” even less, and probably nails one on the side. Approximately 20 people are listed in the film’s credits.
Snow white also didn’t use motion capture to animate it. I wish this flop would have killed off that fad. Thanks A LOT Stephen Spielberg!
It looks like ‘The Big Year’ wasn’t so BIG after all! WAKKA WAKKA
*fires self out of cannon and directly into the ground*
I’m not defending it, but I guaran-dam-tee that Glee movie performed exactly the way Fox expected it to, doubling their investment and providing not only digital and disc sales and future televised content for their broadcast hub, but synergistic advertising for their increasingly stupid show.
My wife threw a Glee ep on Netflix because for some reason, it puts our 2 year old niece to sleep, and there was a quick bit where the club put on a full KISS performance, complete with instruments, costumes, props, lighting, and fucking FIREBALLS. Within the “reality” of the show, who in the hell paid for all that shit?
I can’t seem to find your mom’s titties on the list.
That’s because them shits be FIRM. We of all people should know this, Dad.
Wasn’t that what Mars Kneads Moms was about?
Looking at some of the costs for these films, I wonder if Hollywood goes to the most expensive stores in the world to buy their props. Honestly, some of these movies look like they were made on a tenth of their actual budget.
Also, I wouldn’t call Glee 3D a flop. As far as i know, it was a movie that showed some footage of their concerts from around the world, singing songs people have heard for free on TV. The fact they more than doubled their profit despite such laziness is pretty freaking remarkable.
Is it really a flop if they made their money back. Mars Needs MILFs and Conan the Barbronian (that one’s for Vince) are true flops.
Wait, how is this a flop?
According to your data, Glee had a $9 million budget and made $18.7 millon. That’s a 107% return on investment, while most of these films have about a 50% ROI. Did you reverse the numbers by mistake?
Every movie ever made makes a profit. While these figures probably don’t account for advertising/marketing spend, they also aren’t accounting for DVD/Blu-ray sales and licensing, foreign box office, foreign dvd sales and licesning, etc. Even historically enormous flops like Godzilla, the one with Ferris in it, made hundreds of millions of dollars when it’s all said and done.
You mistakenly assume that the entirety of the grosses go back to the studio. In fact, the studio only gets about half; the other half go to the theaters showing the movie—remember them? Nor does the film budget generally include promotional expenses (advertising, mostly). So Glee cost $9M to make, another few million to promote…and they only made back the cost of the production budget. That’s a loss. Although, yes, it will probably turn a small profit after cable and video are factored in.
Still…a 3D movie opening in 2000 theaters making just $18M worldwide? That’s weak, yo.
The British movie “Me Bum ‘s Ready for Rogering” did lose money; it was the casting.
I am a 26-years-old servicewoman (working in Air Force), mature and charming but still single. I am seeking one who can give me real love, so I joined in the online service —Kissinguniform.c0m—. It’s a 10-year-old club for uniformed personnel finding their intimate lovers. Well, being in military service does not mean to be lonely; you can meet the Mr. or Miss Right there.
p.s. The admirers of those uniformed person are also warmly welcome, there are lots of servicemen and women.
Dear Vince,
Thank you for not turning this into an unecessary slideshow.
Hugs and Kisses
I really like The Thing
#9 is the only one I paid to see. #11 I saw for free. I enjoyed both and I’m pretty sure there’s nothing else on this list worth seeing. So I win 2011!
*chants I’m #1, spike a pop tart*
I liked “Sucker Punch”. There, I said it.
I hate to be in a position where I defend “Glee,” but 18 million dollars on a 9 million budget doesn’t seem like a flop to me.
Sooooooooo I guess $64 million on a $170 million budget it’s a flop? God I hope that one of the producers of Hugo has to end up selling prints of it to be melted down into dildos just to make ends meat.
Well, as much as i hate Ratner, it seems in your eyes a $51.3 million dollar profit is a failure? Tower Heist made $126 and cost $75. $51 million will buy lot’s of Gold Ferraris actually…
It seems its a typo on your part, Tower Heist made $76.8 according to imdb… whatever… that’s a failure.