Cheesy movie moments, every year has them. From "yer changin' that boy's lahfe" to "een Afrika it's 'bling bang," every year produces its share of scenes so insufferably hokey that they're like the verbal (or narrative) equivalent of a 555 number, something that says less about the character or story than it screams "THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE, IT'S A MOVIE!"
We've never done this before, but I thought it'd be fun to chronicle the year in cheesedickness that was. When we look back at 2011, what will be its "AH. DON'T WANT. YER LAHFE." moment? With the help of the Uproxx staff, that's what we attempted to find out. Keep in mind, plenty of these come from otherwise good movies, which is an important reminder that not even good movies are immune to cheese. A viewer must remain vigilant, for one can be cheesedick'd at any time, without warning.
The Plowing Scene in War Horse.
Even I have to admit, War Horse wasn't nearly as bad as the trailer made it look. It mostly succeeded at being what it wanted to be, which was cotton candy. Spun sugar with zero nutritional value. Get it?? People trying to kill each other all look the same to a horse! That's so profound, maybe we AREN'T that different after all! You've convinced me, noble equine, war is bad.
Anyway, the film largely consisted of two major elements, which I have helpfully labelled "WAR" and "HORSE." The war parts weren't so bad, but the horse parts, jeeeeez. And by far the worst offender was a scene near the beginning of the film. You see, the main character, Applecheeks McButtonnose up there, has a father who's a drunk. Not a mean drunk, mind you, more a lovable, but constantly-screwing-up drunk. Applecheeks' father the drunk goes to a horse auction, and even though he's just a poor sharecropper, War Horse is just so flowing maned and sturdily haunched that drunky has to have him (I had a similar experience with a mailbox that looked like a fire engine once). Nevermind that War Horse is a thoroughbred and what their farm really needs is a plow horse. So he spends all the family's money on this frivolous toy horse even though everyone there begs him not to.
Then the mean old landlord shows up, and he's all, "That pretty-boy horse you've got will never plow your rock field! I'll be taking back your farm!"
And the farmer and his family are all, "Nuh uh! He'll plow it so! 'e's a magic 'orse, 'e is!"
Which all culminates in a scene where the entire town, including Moneybags Von Jerkington and GlugGlug McPoordecisions, all turn out to watch and see whether Applecheeks and his magic lover horse can plow a field full of rocks in the rain. Yes, of course it's f*cking raining.
Luckily, Applecheeks just wished and wished hard enough that he eventually turns a show horse into a plow horse through sheer force of movie bullshit, and war horse plows the whole field. (See also: that horse had moxie).
Those are the kind of epiphanies you can expect from War Horse, that a kid can change the physical properties of things just by wishing super hard and having a camera repeatedly dollied in on his perpetually awestruck face. GRRR, INSIGHT. You know what would've been a better scene? If all the villagers who had showed up to cheer on the horse because they supposedly cared so much about Applecheeks and his farm had actually, you know, picked up a f*cking hoe. They could've pitched in to plow the field by hand like people used to do before they could afford plucky ponies. Or would that not be magical enough?
Abduction: "Not if I find you first."
Abduction was so cynically conceived from start to finish (Bourne! In high school! Starring the Twilight kid! he rides a motorcycle because he's a rebel!) that it's hard to choose just one moment as the cheesiest (what the hell happened to you, John Singleton?). Luckily, I never bothered to actually see it, so I can just cherry pick from the two-minute trailer.
"NOT IF I FIND YOU FIRST."
The line is bad enough, but Taylor Lautner's line reading is so free of any recognizable human emotion that it allows you to really concentrate on the inherent shittiness of the words themselves. This is probably the worst film on the list, and almost so altogether forgettable that it doesn't even warrant inclusion. A favorite moment of mine is in the trailer, when Taylor Lautner is training martial arts with his dad (OR IS HE ACTUALLY AN IMPOSTOR) when T-Lauts throws a jumping spin kick. Only there isn't an actual kick or punch at the end of the spin, it's just Taylor Lautner jumping and spinning in a circle like a ballerina. And the filmmakers were so lazy, they just said "f*ck it," cut it up, and threw in a sound effect instead of spending 10 more minutes to film him actually hitting something. I imagine that speaks volumes bout the final product. Still, I think "NOT IF I FIND YOU FIRST" was actually memorable enough in its utter crappitude that it may transcend the forgettableness of the source. That's my fervent desire, anyway.
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Moneyball: Billy Beane's daughter sings him a song from a commercial
Now, I know plenty of you probably loved Moneyball even though I thought it sucked monkeyballs, and I'm fine with agreeing to disagree on that point. I would argue the only thing likable about it were the ideas from the book and none of the narrative created in the movie, but that's probably splitting hairs.
But here's where you can't disagree with me: the scene where Billy Beane's daughter sings him a song is perfect, cheese-soaked tripe. Billy Beane's tacked-on, irrelevant relationship with his family ("THIS SCRIPT NEEDS MORE HEART!" you can practically hear the executive screaming) needs the maudlin, reductive, generic sense of closure it deserves. Solution? Have Billy Beane's daughter sing him a song! And have Brad Pitt make this face:
"AH SEE YOU PLAYIN' THAT GEETAR, BUT IT'S IS ALMOST AS IF THE STRINGS YOU WAS REALLY PLUCKIN, WERE IN MAH HEART!"
In movies, all it takes to atone for years of bad parenting is to get emotional during a musical performance. Oh, and did I mention the song came from an Old Navy commercial? Fuuuuuuuuuuck off.
Shame: Michael Fassbender's sister sings him a Liza Minelli song
Lest you think Moneyball was the only film guilty of using a song you've already heard as a cheap path to emotional depth, we have Shame. You'll see this one crop up on lots of people's best-of-the-year list, probably because of the dazzling first half and Michael Fassbender's acting and giant penis (all great). But it eventually settled for wallowing in grief (the self-serious writer's "primary worthwhile emotion"), culminating in a slow-motion suicide scene set to classical music that could've been written by any 14-year-old goth kid of above-average intelligence.
The suicide scene could've gone on this list too, but where the movie really turned was the restaurant performance, where incorrigible sex addict Michael F. Assbender watches his kooky sister (Carey Mulligan) sing a super-slowed-down cover of "New York, New York." You spend a lot of Shame trying to figure out their vaguely incestuous, brother-sister dynamic (deliberate obfuscation being another trick of the art-school crowd to create the illusion of depth) and the centerpiece of their relationship (at least, you assume, based on length) seems to be this moment, where he watches her sing. The piano player busts into "New York, New York" at about one third time, and Carey Mulligan starts singing, slightly underpitch. It's cute at first, in an Isabella-Rosselini-in-Blue-Velvet kind of way, until it slowly dawns on you that, mother of God, we're going to have to watch her sing the entire. F*cking. Song.
That wasn't even half of the full scene. And OF COURSE the singing is intercut with closeups of Fassbender's face, who's eventually moved to tears by his sister's heartwrenching take on a 30-year-old song. Of all the moments on this list, this one might be the only one that's as painful to sit through as it is cheesy.
Hangover Part II: Disapproving Asian father-in-law is won over by a spontaneous show of balls
Now that I've sufficiently crapped on a movie you liked this year, here's your chance to crap on me for thinking the Hangover II wasn't that bad. Yes, it was the same plot as the first (aren't most sequels?), and that plot was pretty bad (which, for some reason, everyone seemed to conveniently overlook in the first one), but I thought the humor in part II had a darker edge that a movie that's essentially about guys being assholes should have had all along. And the addition of more Zach Galifianakis lines and a monkey smoking cigarettes ultimately sort of kind of won the day for me. A line like "don't nobody know Stu like I know Stu, no way no how!" has a simple verbal absurdity that went largely unappreciated. (Look, it's really hard trying to argue that a movie wasn't that bad, okay? Put down the pitchforks.).
But enough about unwinnable arguments, let's talk cheese. Where the first Hangover recycled the old hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character and the random celebrity cameo, the second installment dropped an even bigger cheese bomb. A double cheese bomb, in fact. We got not only the disapproving Asian father (which requires no explanation, I hope), but also the vacillating wuss who miraculously solves all his problems just by doing something ballsy. In this case, a speech at the wedding. Got a disapproving Asian father in law who hates you no matter what you do to try to please him? That's an easy fix. Just stand up in public and be like, "I don't care what you think, bro, because deep down I know I'm hella tight!" And he'll be forced to be like, "Whoa, sorry, bro. Maybe I've been wrong about you all along and shit or whatever."
BOOM, problem solved.
Stu manned up so hard he probably spent the epilogue chugging Miller Lites and beating up some fag in skinny jeans (Miller brewing company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin™). Either way, the "dude who learns to grow some balls" has a long and storied tradition in Hollywood schlock. Another movie that comes to mind is Knocked Up (which I otherwise mostly loved), when Leslie Mann's character does a complete about-face and decides she likes Seth Rogen's character (which you can tell because she says "I think I like him now!"), solely because he gave her what fer in the delivery room ("This is my area. Back the f*ck off").
Then there's the mother of all learning-to-man-up movies, Back to the Future, where Marty McFly goes back in time, shreds on the guitar, schools his own father in the ways of huge-ball-having, and comes back to the present where the narrative rewards him with a shiny new truck. Never has the psychology behind Reaganism been so perfectly articulated.
(*wipes ass with Jimmy Carter's pussy sweater, rides off in lifted American flag truck blasting "Hail to the Chief"*)
"Thank you so much for curing racism, Miss White Lady."
The Help: Skeeter learns to foller her dreams. (by Dustin Rowles)
Good gracious Virgin Mother of Tebow, The Help is mawkish. Nothing is spared: There is a mother with cancer, racism, an unnecessary romantic subplot, an abusive wife, a miscarriage, rousing music, and a small inspirational Hallmark speech in every other scene. If you're not crying by the end, some guy actually comes around and beats you with a crowbar until you bawl for mercy. But for all its maudlin sentiment, there is no scene more profoundly cheesy than the one, near the end, where the two black maids (Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer) approach Skeeter (Emma Stone) about her plans not to move to New York to take a writing job. Whatever shred of restraint director Tate Taylor had up until that point, he completely abandons with a YOU HAFTA FOLLOW YORE DREAMS, SKEETER speech that has more cheese dick than penis fondue.
Pictured: The pinnacle of tank top dude's career
Friends with Benefits: Semisonic Flash Mob (by Burnsy)
We already know that I watched a lot of really terrible films in 2011 for the sake of pointing out just how terrible some movies were (See: The Absolute Worst Movies of 2011). And because I wanted to keep the “Worst of…” list at a length that was appropriate for a visit to the bathroom, a few movies got off a little lighter than I would have liked - *gives New Year’s Eve the finger*. No movie got off lighter than Friends With Benefits, though, and that’s because it just had too many cheese-dick parts to list without breaking a sweat.
Of all of the cheese-dickishness in Friends With Benefits, the flash mob apology in Grand Central Station takes the cake, with all due respect to Justin Timberlake taking off his pants in an airport restaurant because his Alzheimer’s dad did, too. The flash mob takes the cake for a few reasons:
1) Because we spent all movie having to sit through them bitching about how it never works because they both suck at relationships, even though we knew that they would end up together in some cheese-dick fashion.
B) Because Timberlake and Mila Kunis had already come to the predictable ending that we knew they would – guys and girls can’t have casual sex, GRRRRR PENIS AND LOVE! – and this dance routine was supposed to make up for the horrible things they previously said to each other in their cheese-dick rooftop fight and it stopped him from leaving her forever.
III) Because the film started with Timberlake, who is supposed to be a genius Internet design god, telling Kunis that he didn’t know what a flash mob was. If that had been a line to get in her pants, it would have been fine. But it wasn’t. It was just way too predictable in bringing the plot full circle in a movie that redefined predictability.
[here's the badly-bootlegged clip of the scene]
Like Crazy: The evil boyfriend proposes in front of the parents
Look, I said at the outset that I was going to cover some good movies on this list, because cheesedick moments can show up anywhere. And out of all of these, Like Crazy is probably the only movie that's going to make appearances on both my list of 2011's cheesiest moments, AND my list of 2011's best movies. In most ways, it really was that perfectly honest relationship movie, to the point where it's painful to watch. I really did love it, but sometimes we must criticize the ones we love, just ask my girlfriend.
The film's about an on again, off again relationship between Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones, and, as with all on-again-off-again relationships between people this ridiculously adorable, at a certain point they're going to have flings with rebounds. Felicity Jones's rebound boyfriend was so perfectly detestable that I nearly started shouting at the screen. I mean just look at this asshole:
Featureflash / Shutterstock.com
Holy Cam Gigandet, have you ever seen a face so thoroughly punchable? He's even British.
Anyway, here's a good test to determine whether you're the guy your woman's supposed to be with (and also a great test of whether you're not actually in real life but in a movie): When you proposed to her, did you invite her parents and all her friends over first, and then pop the question in front of all of them without even discussing it with her first? Ooh, ultimate dick-boyfriend-in-a-movie-move, bro.
It was strange to see a scene essentially lifted from Coming to America in such an otherwise great movie. Proposing to your lady unannounced in front of her parents has that perfect cheesedick combination of cinematic visual, happens all the time in movies, and has never happened in real life to anyone I know or to acquaintances of anyone I know. All the best cheesy lines have it.
Young Adult: "But my locker was next to yours all four years!"
Oh, Young Adult, yet another example of having to bash the ones you love. Jason Reitman is great and Patton Oswalt is probably my favorite living human, but Oswalt's character's meet up with Charlize Theron's character in Young Adult fits every criteria for being on this list and then some.
You know how in movies, when the popular kid meets up with the nerdy kid years later, the screenwriter wants to show that the nerdy kid absolutely worshiped the popular kid while the popular kid barely remembers the poor, invisible nerd? As many times as we've all seen that scene, what makes it even worse is when the writer has to take it way beyond believability just to make a point that was pretty obvious and cliché to begin with.
In Young Adult, it starts with nerdy guy Patton staring at Charlize Theron at the bar.
"Mavis? Mavis Gary?"
And before long, he's trying to jog her memory, to no avail, going so far as to drop the bomb "but my locker was right next to yours for all four years!"
Ugh. If you're going to keep recycling this lame scene, at least make it something like, "Remember? We had Mrs. So-and-So's English class together." We don't need '"Remember me? I asked you to the prom six times, and when your mom died of cancer I was the only one who showed up to the funeral and gave you that life-sized monogrammed teddy bear."
We get it, popular kids are dicks, they don't all have amnesia.
Super 8: A Locket with a Picture of My Dead Mom
This choice was difficult only inasmuch as Super 8 was a movie composed almost entirely of cheesedick movie moments (including that prized cheese delicacy, the "YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU!" scene) as an homage to Spielberg (see the Spielberg Face above). Which is to say, it was like a cheesy love letter to cheese. And all of it held together with a nonsensical plot and obnoxious characters spouting dumb catch phrases.
But even in a film composed almost entirely of processed cheese, one aspect stood out: the protagonist who keeps a picture of his dead mom in a locket. How would movie characters even mourn if lockets hadn't been invented? They probably wouldn't. But without dead loved ones, what would motivate them?? Jeez, who knows. Something that takes more than three seconds to write, perhaps. Scary thought.
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Well, folks, those are our picks, but obviously we couldn't see everything. How say you? What did we miss?
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You are still so goddamn wrong about Moneyball. What’s she supposed to sing, Iggy and the Stooges?
She’s not supposed to sing. That was such a half-assed subplot. What the hell does her singing tell us about any of the characters? He encourages her to sing out loud? Sooo derivative. That was pure maudlin pandering with no purpose. My point is that that wasn’t a moment that grew organically from that story, it was a moment someone saw in another movie, thought was cute, and shoehorned into Moneyball where it didn’t really make sense so that they could have this manufactured “moment.”
vince, isn’t that pretty much every scene in Moneyball?
Yes. Specifically, Open Up and Bleed.
Re: above–Open Up and Bleed is a Stooges song.
The scene might have been cool if Beane had done a sabremetric analysis of the song and decided which verse to dump in order to keep costs low.
She could have sung a song that actually existed when the movie took place.
I rescind my counter-counter-argument and submit RagAxle’s.
@RagAxle
Brick-Shitting…engaged.
My vote is for “Your pretty face is going to hell.”
The one problem I had with that is that the movie took place in 2002, and the song came out only 2 or 3 years ago, which means they picked that particular song for a reason. The best reason I could come up with is because it’s called “The Show,” and if some of you nerds don’t know, “the show” is a term baseball fanatics use for the majors. A poignant line from the song being “just enjoy the show.” The only thing I can guess is that it’s supposed to revitalize Beane’s love for the game, and there’s only one point in the movie where Beane’s love for the game is in question (he gives Phillip Seymour Hoffman a line about how he sarcastically reminds him of his love for it). The bigger question though, does this make the song more or less cheezy?
It makes it insufferable tripe.
I agree, the song was wedged in there, but your reasoning for hating it blows. It’s actually not “from a Old Navy commercial,” it was just used in one, along with a half dozen other commercials shortly after it came out. The reason why it was so popular in commercials and a bunch of other stuff is because it got zippo radio play here in the states because it was released by an Australian and more popular in Taiwan (for some odd reason).
Plus, the movie itself was actually pretty good… I’m pretty sure you hated it because there wasn’t enough shit blowing up.
This list is mint.
Any way we could combine some cheesy things and maybe have the crowbar-beater-guy from The Help go to work on that dickhead boyfriend from Like Crazy? Cuz that would be just swell.
War Horse was like 99% cheese. The horse plowing the field, the old man stuff at the end, the horse saving his wounded buddy, the German brothers, the sick little girl, the enemy soldiers bonding over the stupid horse…
AND EVERYONE AROUND ME WAS CRYING. Jesus, it made me feel like a cynical jerk.
⇧This
Sorry Vince, but that movie WAS as bad as the trailers made it look. It really reaffirmed my faith in warfare, and mutual assured destruction.
I’ll just shit on you for having readers that feel it necessary to call your writing mint. I will say you’ve missed the boat on a “cheesiest” scenes list without mention of whatever version of fast and furious came out that year.
Mint was a reference to the kid in Super 8 that I hated, so he was basically antagonizing me. Also, it’s possible 5 Fast 5 Furious had something that warranted inclusion (I did sit through that), but for the most part it’s more ridiculous and over-the-top than cheesy.
Yeah. The scene where VD talks about his dead dad. Guh.
… antagonizing with love?
Don’t listen to Vince, he’s being falsely modest. Everyone here prints out each filmdrunk post the second it reaches the internet and mails it to the Library of Congress with an accompanying note that reads (written in random magazine article letters of course): “FILE IMMEDIATELY OR I’LL SHIT IN YOUR CHILDREN’S FACE ASSHOLE.”
The “face asshole” is also known as the mouth.
My decision to watch Moneyball at all is thrown out the window now. I hate children singing.
The only thing they could have done worse was sing “Home” By Edward Sharpe and the Magneti….zzzzzzzzzz
Oh, did anyone else see Crazy Stupid Love? Because there’s a big, heartfelt speech at the end that probably warrants inclusion.
Otherwise, it was pretty darn cute. But it would be hard to fail with Baby Goose and Emma Stone.
Yes I saw it. It was awful. I’d say why, but it would spoil the big O. Henry plot twist.
Crazy Stupid Nash and Young was a mixed experience. Baby Goose and E Rock were great, and Carell was solid. On the other hand, the dad basically advises his son to stalk anybody he has a crush on, and Julianne Moore didn’t roll out the red carpet.
Okay, the plot twist was ridiculous. I was wrong; that should probably be the cheesiest moment. And the hopeless romantic son was way too cutesy cliche.
… And yet I still liked the movie. It probably goes against everything I believe in, but at least it’s not Heigl.
It may be a cheesy movie, but it did inspire my fiancee to take me shopping for clothes.
One that didn’t make this list because the movie got pushed to 2012:
“Which weapons, sir?”
“ALL OF THEM”
“Remember me? I asked you to the prom six times, and when your mom died of breast cancer I was the only one who showed up to the funeral and gave you that life-sized mammogrammed teddy bear.”
Now that she might remember.
Alzheimer’s Dads definitely make me feel cheesedicknosed. In addition to Friends With Benefits you’ve got RotPotA and 50/50.
I thought 50/50 handled the dad really well. I get that it’s layering sad on top of sad, but it was restrained and not full-on “WE ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU CRY WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT” emotional manipulation.
War Horse would have been cool if they set it on the eastern front during WWII. For the invasion of the USSR, the Germans brought more than 600,000 horses. Many of them later proved invaluable–as food. “I’ll have part of you inside me until ze day I die, mein horse. Specifically, 1) in mein teeth and 2) until next Tuesday, Wednesday at ze latest.”
Kyle Chandler definitely gets my vote for cheese ball dad of the year with “I got you”.
COACH TAYLOR!
(mandatory)
Lockets are the white people equivalent of pouring malt liquor on a grave.
Contributes 10,000 internets to the fictional charity of Ian’s choice.
The ending to The Adjustment Bureau was perhaps the cheesiest thing I saw all last year. Don’t see that movie, even if it’s free on television.
I have to mention X-Men: First Class. The whole, “Mutant and proud” crap was a little played out. Other than that, it wasn’t bad.
I’d also add the very, very last scene…”Call me…………..Magneto!”
I agree with half of these. I didn’t feel the “New York New York” was cheesy at all. I don’t think she was classy enough to sing the song that way either though and was most definitely too long. The slitting of the wrist made me cringe, because of it being so cliche. I actually liked the song in “Moneyball” as well, but it definitely was a half assed subplot that I personally wish they would’ve developed better. I really didn’t see what the ruckus was about with Jonah Hills acting. He was nice and refined in it, but nothing about his performance jumped out at me. I hope Nolte or Plummer get an Oscar Nomination before he does. The biggest cheese ball scene I’ve seen this year would probably go to “The Sitter” and the whole film was a cheese fest. I swear I don’t hate Jonah Hill, but fuck was that film terrible.
the worst part of the “friends with benefits” scene is the attempt to transcend movie cliches by mentioning a movie cliche while in a movie cliche. meta-cheese
oo, in the part 2 harry potter thing, there was a scene where some thin guy responded to a comment by some fat guy with a trite, reworked aphorism, and the fat guy said, “who said that?,” which is quickly followed by the thin guy’s retort, “me.” i think this is an under-appreciated, self-congratulatory cliche
Holy mother of everything, that War Horse review fucking slayed me.
Goddammit – You can’t go off and caption a sexy photo like that “The Plowing Scene” and talk about a rocky field!!
I’m pretty surprised you didn’t nominate Warrior for cheesiest amazing movie.
I only saw one film in theaters this year, The Muppets, and I guaran-fucking-tee the scene of Chris Cooper rapping was worse than any four of the entries on this list combined.
This list has more cheese than a British guy’s boner.
How very dare you.
You’re all wrong. That horse CHANGED MAH LYFE!
I feel bad for saying this but sliding a swelling La Mer in to the wind up scene of Tinker Tailor was a weird piece of work.
Me — furrowed brow, furrowed brow, furrowed brow, furrowed brow, grinning like a jackass when loose ends tie up and Smiley meanders his way to the big chair. Perfect cheese but boy was I reminded I was at a movie.
Soul Surfer; Love conquers all
After the chick gets her arm chomped off: “Surfing isn’t the most important thing in life. Love is. I’ve had the chance to embrace more people with one arm than I ever could with two.”
* barfs in a long, steady stream *
I’d like to embrace whoever wrote that dreck with a two-by-four.
If I was in that scene I would have done a two-hand dismissive wank, just to show how much I love not losing an arm.
Doesn’t the end of the second act fight between Oswalt and Theron in Young Adult fit this a little better? The scene in the bar asks you to accept bullshit exposition, fair enough, but the scene in the woods wants you to be emotionally involved with that bullshit exposition. You want to stop Patton mid-sentence and say, “Look, I know this is Cody’s fault but dude, I’m not buying the whole beat-up-by-jocks-for-being-gay-even-though-I-wasn’t angle so can we just say you were in an accident and move on? Oh and make her take off that ‘Injuns’ sweater too, there’s no way a high school was ever named that.”
War Horse counts as a whole, but I submit the scene where the old French guy out-of-nowhere accidentally out bids the whiny equiphile because he heard about an incredible horse spreads the brie farther than the plowing scene.
I refuse to believe that War Horse is watchable. When somebody in the trailer asks “what kind an ‘orse is it?” I was hoping the answer would be “Brown.”
fuck all these annoying ads on every single page…
Super 8 should have been even more blatant, and had the locket photo be a photo of Steven Spielberg doing the Spielberg face.
That kid and his hip hop dancing in ”Real Steel” was so soul destroying, Voldemort could have used it to make Horcruxes
my roommate’s step-mоthеr makes $80 hоurly on the laptop. She has been without a job for 6 mоnths but last mоnth her chеck was $8964 just wоrking on the laptop a few hоurs a day. Read more here… http://pygmyurl.com/
Roommate’s step-mother?
What a coincidence, my step-mother is also a cam-whore.
Honorable mention: “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never”
Never (oops, I said it) seen it, but with a title like Never say Never, it takes the crown for king of cheese.
From the synopsis…”Never Say Never is the inspiring true story and rare inside look at the rise of Justin from street performer in the small town of Stratford, Ontario”. WHOOOOA HOOOO HOOOLD it right there B-Rabbit. Street performer from Stratford? Sounds like a tough life….except for the average household income is $60k…and City Hall looks like Buckingham Palace.
I would not be surprised at all if Justin and his token black friend give a hip hop rendition of “O Canada” while trying to crack his Ferrari F430.
*Crank not crack. Although, crack works if he was trying to imitate his grandparents. Boosh! Endgame.
Everything about Trust, that online sexual predator pic directed by David Schwimmer.
I almost want to see War Horse just to see if that screen cap has the window-horse-photobomb ‘shopped in or if that’s a legit scene.
But only “almost”. I really feel that the 4 word review summed things up enough for me to carry on in conversations like I actually saw the damned thing
Even though I fucking loved it and was crying the whole time like a bitch, Warrior was pretty much one huge cheesy cliche
UNDERDOG vs. UNDERDOG
“Whose dog is the most under???? Either way, you’ll be crying as Tom Hardy bashes some dude’s face in!!!!”
I don’t know how punchable the Like Crazy guy’s face is. A little too feminine and delicate. Now, those two Twihards the the left of him, on the other hand… Masculine features and soft jowls make for good punchin’.
I’d say the ending of “MI:Ghost Protocol” is a great big dirty slice of cheese quiche. Granted, everything prior isn’t exactly high art but Jeremy Renner being convinced to join the team and…
**Spoiler**
Hunt watching his missus’ life from afar? I shook my head in cheesy dismay.
I liked the fact that Tom Cruise is made of sugar cubes and thus melted in the steam crossing the bridge.
Penis Fondue was my nickname in college. Probably because of the smell.
Every single second of Battle: Los Angeles.
Super 8 also had the idea that not being a gun-toting military man was enough to tell a monster to, like, go home and be free and shit.
I still liked the movie though, kiss my ass.
What? No precocious youngsters with designer retro clothing imparting life-affirming nuggets of wisdom? I am disappoint.
If you want me to finish reading posts, don’t make references that make me Google ‘ali larter + whipped cream’ on the first page.
Well, after reviewing these, I find that I must like those cheesy moments, as none offend or bother me, except the line from “Abduction”, “not if I find you first!”. And not because it’s cheesy, but because of the cringe-worthy acting. I think if you like the movie overall, then a few cheesy moments are generally acceptable. Plus, I find Carey Mulligan kind of adorable, so she can do no wrong.
When I was 19, I went over to my boyfriend’s house to break up with him. All of a sudden he was down on one knee proposing and his parents and sister came out of the kitchen with a cake saying “congratulations”… I started crying, which they took to mean “yes” and I had to pretend to be engaged for a few weeks… So I completely agree with your appraisal of “Like Crazy”. Horrible thing to do.
For Young Adult, I’m surprised you didn’t list the whole movie because that’s all what’s her name knows how to write, sentimental crap… and not just crap, but crap that nobody actually says. Juno should have been your first tip… nobody friggin talks like that, why would you think this flick would be any better?
War Horse looked fantastic in the trailer and in the real thing, so I’m not sure what standard you’re holding it to here. Are you just programmed to hate things that people will like? I mean, you are trying to be a film critic here, right?
Mission Impossible ending. You could spread that shit on a triscuit.
I died when everything turned to perfection in Stu’s life at the end of Hangover! So cheesy! But the cheese winner of the year has to be the latest installment of Twilight, come on!
Yep, that Billy Beane’s daughter scene in Moneyball is ridiculous. More on that here: [popculturehasaids.wordpress.com]