Marky Mark offers his personal hanky to any queahs who may have been offended
When you publicly imply that passengers on the planes during 9/11 were lazy pussies and you could’ve done better like Mark Wahlberg did, people tend to complain. Who knew 9/11 was such a sensitive subject? Predictably, he’s issued a public apology, or at least his publicist has.
“To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with, and to suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible. I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.” [Source]
Wahlberg later added, “I feel their pain. I feel it, feel it.” Anyway, that was boring and expected, and while we await his apology for also lying about not masturbating, BK has designed a shirt featuring Mark Wahlberg as a cheeseburger ordering a “numbah one cawmbo meal.” Which, as we all know, is a knuckle sangwich and medium punch. POW! DOAHCHESTA FA EVAH!
It’s glawrious.
[via Skreened]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kool-Aid-Man-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Marky-Mark-dwarves-pain-and-gain-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/pain-and-gain-clip-the-rock-sings-stryper-in-the-gun-store-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-pain-and-gain-red-band-from-michael-bay-150x150.jpg)
Here’s his statement on masturbating: “Jacking off is for queeahs. Do nawt do it or you’ll go blind.”
He will not, however, apologize for referring to the 9/11 hijackers as “moulie jihad-ons”.
That shirt is tremendous. Er, I mean it’s a wicked pissah.
I hope there is also a temporary tattoo option for the shirt design, because a real Marky Mark fan never wears a shirt. The most they ever go is money duct taped to their chest.
You’re right. Now to find a temporary tattoo distributah.
whaaaat?…. noooooo
You mean nobody at Wahlburgers thought to make a shirt like that?
He admitted on Stern today that he’s having all his tattoos removed. HES GAWIN BAWNKAHS!
I forgot where I read it today (one of the Uproxx properties, anyway), but he’s getting all religious now. I wonder if he’s going to insist that Wahlburgers close on Fridays during lent.
Boston doesn’t go in for conspiracies, construction and hooking aren’t inside jobs.
Nice. Unless youwa a dahkie.
/this week I’m all racism all the time
I want a Mahky hankie.
Now here’s Hankie Hank and the Chunky Conk with ‘Good Expectorations’; BLOW!
You know what, if Skreened is going to charge $23, I can at least redo it in full color.
To be fair, this is probably just his way of dealing with being passed over for the lead in “Passenger 57.” Fackin’ job stealin’ dahkies.
COTW
He’s a lock for the reboot: Passenger 5′ 7″
He jerks off to the tears of faggots who question his hypothetical hero situations.
WHERE can this shirt be purchased??
The link is dwarfed by the might of the tee above, so here:
[skreened.com]
Religion is for queeahs. Look at mahky mahk goin soft on us like some schoolboy bitch. See if I ever beat off to your prosthetic penis in boogie nights anymore. I thought you were a Stawr Mahk! You fawkin church goin half-a-fag.
Pretty sure that cawmbo meal includes a side of mussels. Food vibrations.
/This is my dojo!
Sony is going to pass over Vince’s Filmdrunk shirts and contact BK on his genius Wahlburger’s shirt.
BK is a chick.
BK is a girl?!??!@!? Jesus Christ, next thing you’re going to tell me Al is too….
Then what were those penises they were showing me?
BK IS AN ANGRY SHIT MONSTER OBVS GAWD DOESN’T ANYONE TAKE AN AVATAR SERIOUSLY ANYMORE
Meanwhile, Donnie Wahlberg apologized through his publicist for sucker-punching a P.A. on the set of Rizzoli & Isles.
It should be noted that his publicist is his cousin Fat Ricky, and he announced this apology through a rolled-up Pennysaver on a street corner in Braintree.
Oh and the way, Kevin Smith was also supposed to be on that flight. And I swear to god, if he hadn’t gotten wedged in the metal detector, he’d have fucking saved that plane.
Because it couldn’t have taken off in the first place.
Because he’s a huge fat person.
Tell yoah mutha I said I’m sawry.
I believe Markie
Anyone that can read Worcester, but say Woo-stah
has to be bad ass
If Mahky Mahk had only played farst base foah tha 86 Sawx we couldaavoided a LAWT of HAAAATBREAK
What? Is he Invincible or something?
I CANNAWT repress how truly sawrry I am fah implyin’ dat those homos on the planes could nawt stawp tha highjackahs because theah assholes were sucking up fah too much seatcushion. Let us pray.
*bows head, makes sign of the cross*
Deah Jesus, please see to it that the Patriots go bawls deep in the Giants’ shittahs this weekend. This is meahly a playawff game, it ain’t like weah askin’ foah a Supah Bowl win. Which reminds me – could you awlso see to it that David Tyree catches ass cancah? And please say hello to Teddy Basebawl, and let him know dat we ah still tryin’ to figuah a way to
rescue his head from dat Scawtsdale fag’s freezah. Fackin’ Amen.