Bridesmaids earned $288 million on a $32 million budget this past year, long-overdue vindication for our decision to give women the right to vote. And when you make that much money on a comedy, people expect you to make a sequel. Hell, Mike Myers is still trying to make Austin Powers 4, and Austin Powers is older than my last three girlfriends. So what do you say, Kristin Wiig? Will we get  Meet your Fockers someday?

The mystery is why Universal has made so little progress on launching a Bridesmaids 2 — and why the star of the film is refusing to do a reprise. “We aren’t working on that,” Wiig, who co-wrote the film with Annie Mumolo, tells The Hollywood Reporter. “Annie and I aren’t planning a sequel. We are writing something else.”
With Wiig balking [my cousin went to juvie for Wiig balking -Ed.], Universal chief Ron Meyer took her to dinner in New York to see whether he could change her mind. He likely dangled an eight-figure payday before her, but the 38-year-old star held firm.

Yes, her not wanting to do a sequel is a mystery, alright. I bet when those studio execs smelled integrity, they all pointed at her and shrieked like body snatchers.

BUT WAIT! There must be a better explanation for this easily-explainable decision!

One factor may be that something went awry between Wiig and Universal. Sources say that some of the six principal cast members (Wiig, McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper) were underwhelmed with the $100,000 bonus each received — the sum struck some as low given the film’s outsized success. Asked by THR whether she was offended by the dollar figure, Wiig declined comment.

$100,000 seems like a lot, but keep in mind Grown Ups earned $271 million on an $80 million budget (sidenote: how the f*ck did Grown Ups cost $80 million?), and Sandler bought his co-stars $200,000 Maseratis. Plus, you know how chicks are. You give them a gift and all they want to know is whether it cost two months salary, and who else has it, and how hard it was to find. It doesn’t matter how nice it is, only how much you suffered to get it, because all women are sadistic malcontents who covet shiny objects like Gollums.

Universal sources say the studio is willing to pursue another Bridesmaids without Wiig. “We are over the moon with the success of Bridesmaids, and if we do a sequel we want to get it right,” a Universal rep tells THR. “We are talking to filmmakers now about concepts, and if the right one emerges, we’ll move forward.” The studio rep declines to elaborate on what elements it would deem essential — whether, for example, original director Paul Feig would be involved — but Universal is focused on McCarthy as a key player to get a sequel rolling.

But it’s not clear that producer Judd Apatow, who scored the biggest hit of his career with Bridesmaids, is equally reconciled to the idea of proceeding with a different team. “The key is we have to come up with an idea that is as good or better than the first one,” Apatow tells THR in a statement. “We don’t want to do it unless it can be great. I don’t think anyone has had the brain space to think about it yet. Hopefully that can begin this year.”

He declines to address talent questions, but a source close to the situation says, “I don’t think [Judd] would proceed without Kristen and Annie’s full participation.”

Yeah, I don’t see Apatow and Feig doing a sequel without Kristen Wiig either. And nothing against Melissa McCarthy, who was great (even if they dressed her in a wardrobe that would be unbelievable for anyone but a 6-year-old retarded boy and that was the worst part of the movie) — but it would be just like studio types to think, “Forget the writer, star, and director — can we bring back the fat chick who wears hats!?”

[picture source = GQ's Bro of the Year, whatever the f*ck that means]