You may remember last month when David Cross did an interview with ThePlaylist in which he called working on Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (or ‘The Squizznizzeaqu3l,’ as I like to rep it on MySpace) “the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had in my professional life.” (For which a bunch of people ripped on him. Hey, shut up, he’s a comedian. Comedians complain about stuff. Honesty and whining is like 98 percent of comedy†). He was on Conan the other night, and he didn’t shy away from his previous assertion, and in fact went into more depth as to what it was about the experience that he hated so much. Turns out it was a particularly Jewy Jewess who made him dress like a pelican. Poor Victoria Jackson, she told the same story and no one believed her.
“I would say in all honesty it was the most miserable experience I’ve ever had. In my professional life. It was miserable, not because of the cast and the crew, who were great, but I was forced, at legal point, to spend a week on a cruise ship. It was terrible. There was no reason for me to be there. If you see the movie, and don’t… first of all, “Chipwrecked.” It’s a pun. [sarcastically] And 5-year-olds love puns. They love it. They love wordplay. And it’s a big commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines. And they thought, ‘won’t it be fun to get David on there?’
“And for the scenes that take place on the cruise ship…. I am always in a Pelican mascot foam rubber outfit where you cannot see any of my flesh, nor do I have any dialog. [picture of that after the jump]
[Asked why they didn’t use a stand in] I tried that line of logic and reason, but there was one producer — everyone else had my back, and the director was like oh that’s fine we don’t need him, and I was in London, I was trying to shoot Todd Margaret at the time — and they’re like oh, you have to go and shoot this. Actually, she was more like [whiny voice]. And there’s this one producer, and I won’t say, but she is the personification of what people think about when they think negatively about Jews.”
“This woman, she represented everything people hate about the Jews. She made me go on a boat, which I hate. I can’t stand boats. What kind of a person goes on a boat? The air, it’s salty, makes me wheeze. And the ocean, with the rocking, and the pitching, and the rolling – feh! Oy, and don’t even get me started on the food. It’s HAWRIBBLE, and such small portions…”
Anyway, not to be a poop-stirrer, but Oliver Noble (FilmDrunk senior Jewish correspondent) pointed out that while no female producers are listed on IMDB, there’s only one female producer listed on the studio side in Variety:
Karen Rosenfelt, pictured here at right. So in case you were wondering about the identity of the Jewy pelican pimp, it’s probably her.
And here’s David Cross dressed like a pelican, via TMZ:
†The other 2%? You guessed it, watermelon smashing.