Much like Bucky Larson, Katherine Heigl's One for the Money was abruptly Trojan-horsed into theaters without being screened for critics this past weekend. But unlike Bucky Larson (still 0% after 35 reviews), One for the Money was able to win one fan (sort of!), bumping its recommended rating up to a whopping 3%. I've compiled here the ten most glowing quotes from Scott from MovieBuff's beaming two-and-a-half-star review. I also added exclamation points, because although they weren't in the original review, I felt they captured the spirit of the review.
I think my favorite was "She never quite pulls off the Jersey persona but she comes close enough!"
"Thanks in large part to the power of extremely lowered expectations, I actually enjoyed this Katherine Heigl chick flick!"
"It's far from perfect, but I wasn't bored!"
"Heigl herself does an okay job in the role!"
"Sure, it's being dumped in the dead of winter and wasn't screened for critics before it was released, but I still enjoyed it!
"She never quite pulls off the Jersey persona but she comes close enough!"
"I never thought of her as that attractive before, but she's quite sexy here!"
"Despite the weakness of the mystery and the failure of the humor to be as funny as it should be, there is just enough of everything plus a dose of likable charm from Heigl to keep the story moving along!"
"Jason O'Mara is the cop she's hunting down and while he's rough and rude to her at first, he's also incredibly buff and cooks for her!"
"I can objectively see that it's not particularly well made, but despite that I still rather liked it!"
"Although yes, a big part of that is because I went into it with absolutely zero expectations!"
I had entirely too much fun making this.
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my review would be “this movie sucks tranny dick but Heigl is still sort of hot so I just stared at her tits the whole movie.”
i didn’t see it though, i’m not a moron.
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Quote 11 is how I feel every time I listen to the Frotcast.
Funny, that’s how I feel every time I listen to YOUR MOTHER SUCK COCK IN HELL!
That is an outrageous slur on my mother, who may or may not enjoy sucking cock. I DEMAND an apology!
Heigl slept with the producer to get the role (see, she’s the producer…)
It’s cool when you can tell a writer’s style is heavily influenced by being homeschooled by a passive-aggressive mother.
I’m waiting for Patty to stop laughing and dancing long enough to comment.
Good god, is he suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?
“My popcorn was actually a bowl of burn popcorn seeds which I happily dumped on my crotch!”
You laugh but it’s precisely that brand of mental incapacity that got me laid in high school.*
* I didn’t get laid in high school *
This guy has nothing but nice things to say about his Boy Scout troupe leader, Priest and Uncle Frankie who wasn’t really his uncle at all.
Just because a book sells well on the New York Times list, doesn’t mean it should be made into a movie. That said, I’d pay good money to see Patty’s prison-written autobiography put to cellulose after she’s convicted of murdering Heigl with a spigot, hose and douche nozzle.
I’d be willing to donate some of my celery for that project.
Good form, Kushiro! Lets work out a scriptment, and salad to the highest bidder!
Yes, lettuce.
(I am SO sorry).
This film kept me dry and free from wolf attacks for nearly two hours!
A guy asked me out and offered to take me to see this movie. I opted to skip the movie and just go straight to the date-rape.
“He’s Buff and Cooks for Her” sounds like the opposite of a B.Pumper joint.
This movie didn’t give me cancer.
This movie gave me explosive diarrhoea, but I didn’t get any splash back on me!!
I’ll wait for the XXX parody. Two in the stink.
I agree 100% with number 7 so long as he’s talking about Debbie Reynolds.
According the the roll over advert every time I come back, in order for me to be immortal, many must die. I assume he means Heigl. I’ve thought about it, and ok, this time.
I dunno. Failure though it may be, I guess I kind of respect any film that has the balls to put its true intent right there in the title.
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Unlike this fellow I fear Ms. Heigl could never live up to my expectations. She may not actually have a penis at all.
You can’t simply pull off a New Jersey persona, you need a special medicated shampoo to get rid of it.
I don’t know why this amused me so much. That review actually makes me want to see this. Or at least not want to punch myself in the balls when my wife inevitably rents it.
Heigl’s Agent: “Here it is Katherine! I told you there was still hope, I told you!”
Heigl: “What’s it say, does it say good things about me?”
Heigl’s Agent: “Yea! It says even though your jersey persona wasn’t believable, you were ok!”
Heigl: “I’m back!”
If only Nick Swardson tried harder to pull off the “Kid from small town midwest trying to make it big who discovers his parents used to be in porn” persona.
Sure she makes the same crappy moves every year but Alexia Wheaton had a special place in my 1996 pubescent teen mind… and penis.
That was her last good work, the work in white, the walking away work.
“This movie is like having Katherine Heigl sit on your face during her menstrual cycle, fart her retardation directly into your nose, and then take two steps forward and shit ‘fail’ all over your chest…BUT I STILL LOOOOOUUUUUURRRRVVVVVEEEEDDD IT!”
I just saw what you described in a movie… a German movie.
True story: I’m half German. (The other halves are Irish and Klingon.)
So do you like movies where a mannish woman takes half of a dump on a wimps chest?
/yes, it IS a fun stereotype
this guy is trying to get a quote on the DVD cover
Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Kiki Daire?