
Here’s Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner in Entertainment Weekly‘s first look at Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (whose trailer is set to hit this Thursday). Now, if you take this as a serious movie, say, in the vein of Snow White and the Huntsman, a wholly unsatirical film in which Chris Hemsworth plays an axe-wielding medieval swordsman who teaches Snow White (played by Kristen Stewart) “the art of war” so that she might do battle (complete with swords and armor and sh*t) with her enemy the evil queen, it sounds like the stupidest thing ever (and yet telling that it’s still totally believable). However, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters comes from Tommy Wirkola (the guy who directed Død Snø, that movie about the blood-puking Nazi zombies) and Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s production company (Gary Sanchez productions); so I’m going to assume that it’s at least a semi-parody. In which case it’s a brilliant idea. Isn’t it amazing how just making something a satire can turn things around like that? Someone should try it with Billy Bush.
Here’s what Gemma Arterton told EW:
Folktales like this have been told over and over again, changing every time. What’s the constant that your movie picks up?
They resonate with your fears, that’s how these fairy tales worked. They scared you into behaving. This one in particular is about abandonment and being lost and parents leaving you. The heart of it is that these kids grow up to be bloodthirsty witch hunters. It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, really. What would Hansel and Gretel be in 15 years time?Though it’s comedic, deep down it’s about abused kids becoming kind of hyper-responsible?
But it’s also very, very dark, and bloodthirsty and there’s a lot of cursing. It’s kind of got a [Quentin] Tarantino feel, really.
I hope it’s more than a “little” tongue in cheek, but it’s probably good to have the actors taking it seriously anyway. Once those spazzes start hamming it up, it’s just a short, slippery slope to Kenan Thompson-land. I also enjoy that their costumes look like they could’ve just as easily come from Paul WS Anderson’s 3D, steampunk Three Musketeers movie. Is Jeremy Renner wearing… a sundial wrist watch with a big brass cover over it?? Amazing.
“What time is it?”
“DAMN! I don’t know! I can hardly get service with all these trees!”



It has a Tarantino feel to it? So in between the witches being gorily dispatched by a leather clad dude and his sister, Uma Thurman loses her shoes AND socks?
I feel that an upwards shot like that should yield some camel toe with pants that tight, but alas its not to be. DAMN YOU COSTUME DESIGNER!
‘I enjoyed The Brothers Grimm, but really wished it was a bit more like Van Helsing.’ – Nobody, ever.
On the other hand, Gemma Arterton.
“Folktales like this have been told over and over again”
Damn you, public domain!
/who doesn’t love a good law joke? Everybody? OK then.
Wikipedia, you complete me and my book reports:
“Hansel and Gretel are a young brother and sister threatened by a cannibalistic hag living deep in the forest in a house constructed of cake and confectionery.”
When Peter Jackson tried to direct this a few years ago, let’s just say they had trouble completing the set.
Last one for now:
“They resonate with your fears, that’s how these fairy tales worked. They scared you into behaving.”
German fairy tales, keeping Germans in line since never.
So does this movie take place like after they murdered the hag in the first one? Did they like killing that bitch so much they turned it into a vocation?
Jeremy Renner really has mastered that “I’m a male prostitute who’s seriously reconsidering his career path” glare.
I’ve a stitch for Jeremy Renner. RIGHT HE….
Oh, wait witch?
Renner should play it like “Hurt Locker,” but with a whacky German accent. That’s a movie I’d watch.
I wish it was Bitch Hunter. :(
Van Hanseling
All will be forgiven if one of them is shot in the knee with an arrow.
I cant wait to see Chelsea Handler get shot with a crossbow. That applies to both this movie and real life in general.
I think it will be very tongue in cheek, she’s kinda lispy.
Yeah, more like “Cancel and Regretel”, Ammiright?? Ammi-
…
…so alone:’(
GaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.