"You ain't no Cedric."

Opening Everywhere: No new movies, just your mom’s legs. Burn.

Opening Somewhere: There are no movies opening in wide release this weekend, but if you check your local listings, you might be able to check out Shame, Answers to Nothing, Coriolanus, and Sleeping Beauty.

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince’s exact quote to me about this weekend was, “Save your money and take that special someone to see New Year’s Eve next weekend because it looks incredible.”

Answers to Nothing

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 11% critics, 64% audience yelling, “Wooooooooo!” and showing their tits

Gratuitous Review Quotes

“The result is a diligent brand of gloom. When it isn’t being diligently gloomy, it’s being obvious. When it isn’t being obvious, it’s being sneaky, and when it isn’t being sneaky, it’s marching toward a climax of B-movie violence, stupidity and nuttiness that summarily bumps off the movie’s least annoying character.” – Amy Biancolli, San Francisco Chronicle (Someone’s sassy!)

“Fortunately, the strong cast (which also includes Barbara Hershey as Ryan’s idealistic mother and Greg Germann as a kidnapping suspect) helps keep things watchable. But it can never fully surmount an overlong, largely underwhelming script that often swaps forced personality quirks and symbolic gestures for honest dimension.” – Gary Goldstein, L.A. Times

Armchair Analysis: This movie stars Dane Cook in a rare serious turn, which is about as appealing as, well, Dane Cook in a comedic role. But it got me thinking – maybe what we actually need is Dane Cook displaying his annoying, obnoxious, over-the-top comedy in dramatic films. Perhaps that’s the missing formula for success in Cook’s cinematic career. Or maybe he’s just one of those guys who needs to die for us to really appreciate him. I’m willing to try both.