If faced with an alien attack force in Los Angeles, I would assume that the California reservists would call their friends back home who didn’t enlist and ask them for whatever help the can get in upgrading their arsenal.
I assume this was finished before New Year’s Eve. Crap served on trite toast, served sanitized with a liberal dose of inanity for all. #1 worst, soul sucking piece of dreck this year – though I have to admit I wouldn’t go near a Sandler flick on a dare, so you could be right.
Are you not allowed to toss in “Tree of Life” because your artsy-fartsy friends won’t talk to you anymore?
It opened with a Bible quote and German choir, had obnoxious voice overs of non-sequitors and even had a cut scene of a leaf blowing away. All that was missing was the word “Fin.” at the end.
It’s not so much that Larry Crowne was bad, it’s just that there’s nothing there to be bad. Plus, in ten years, people will think it’s about Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo stealing art or diamonds.
Judging solely by the pics of the top 10, if you had Michael Pena in your movie this year, your movie sucked.
(Battle LA, Tower Heist, Not Pic’d: 30 Min or Less)
The Mighty Feklahr is so glad He has heroes like Burnsy and Vince to take cinematic bullets for Him. Qaplah!
Also, The Klingon Empire would nominate “Sucker Punch” for Worst Movie of 2011. Qovlpathing flick was a forshak pile stuffed in a blender of failgaritas.
Stiller going to jail may have been part of the Ocean’s 11 ripoff, since that ends with Clooney going back to prison. So the ending not only sucks, it’s unoriginal.
BattLA should get a special award as Worst Movie Promoted by an Actor Saying He Went to “Boot Camp” to Make it Realistic. That line has been played out since Platoon. Also, soldiers (e.g. Army, not Marines) go to basic training, not boot camp, so fuck you.
I’m not sure if it was awesom-o or not but south park did predict this movie. its not fake, i remember seeing the episode when jack and jill was coming out and being freaked out, just like when they predicted osama would be shot in the eye by a SEAL team. Trey and Matt are modern day prophets
I love this blog. My hatred for shitty Hollywood and the steaming turds it manufactures is happily sated on this site. I also love when people are afraid to find out they were wrong all along about something Rolling Stone magazine trained them to hate. Like that moment Chris Hitchens told Bill ‘The Forehead’ Maher and his audience that they were all a bunch of mouth-breathing drones with no clue about anything. I also love how Sarah Palin makes those drones get all phlegmy and sweaty and blubbery. Whatever you do, don’t watch “The Undefeated”. That way you can avoid the hurt caused by enlightenment. Keep calm, stay in line, and vote the way they tell you. And FUCK Happy Madison.
Battle: Los Angeles was a good movie and does not belong on this list of crap.
You know what does belong on this list? Black Swan and the King’s Speech. Black Swan because there was no scissoring as promised and the movie sucked. The King’s speech because nothing is more annoying than watching contemporary ideology being incorporated into another era that clearly did not share our views.
Is scissoring really a thing? I’ve always assumed it was just a porn cliche for the viewers’ pleasure.
Somehow, no matter how many bad reviews I read, I can’t hate Sucker Punch. I don’t know why. I’ve seen it like 8 times, too. I just love that movie, everything about it.
The more realistic alternative to Battle: LA would have involved the aliens landing on LA, getting blasted by about 1,000 gangs and assorted loonies, the aliens getting their ships and weapons stripped down to their intergalactic screws, and the movie ending with some cholo riding down sunset blvd in a deuce-and-a-quarter with antigravity custom-made hydraulics doing double-backflips. THAT would have been a better movie.
Everyone who lambasts the dialogue of Battle:LA as cliched obviously haven’t been engaged in any form of armed combat; under the circumstances of the film, the dialogue suits the story very well. If my platoon commander started spouting off Hamlet in a Richard Burton voice in the heat of battle, we would have relieved him on the spot of his command. If you want kick ass acting and dialogue, seek out a movie with Day-Lewis in it, as one would expect, not from a combat driven action movie. A movie like Battle:LA should not be looked at subjectively in that light.
Hi. Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m a sweet, friendly, honest and caring girl in search of casual encounters. I like making friends with out pressure, so I got a profile(Angel78) on –Casualloving dot c’0m–. It’s where for men and women looking for intimate encounters.
It’s the first and safe place for people who wanna to start a short-term relationship. Maybe you wanna hit me up, seriously!no bounds or limits in front of true love.
++++++Life is short. Enjoy yourself.
Oh, thank God, finally SOMEONE saying something negative about Bridesmaids. I feel as though that movie got such a free pass for being created by women (thanks for the handicap, guys!) that most people were scared to say that it was remarkably tedious in spots elst they appear anti-women. Certain scenes dragged on endlessly, the joke beaten to the ground, and to Burnsy’s point, the areas ripe for hilarity (of which there are many in all the shit that goes into wedding planning and female competition therein) were missed as we focused on Annie’s shittastic life and outlook. That was my major problem with the movie: the main character was quite possibly the least likeable person (and shittiest friend) in the world and I didn’t want to spend one minute with her. Thank god for Melissa McCarthy and a few random non-Wiig scenes or it would have been one of the worst two hours I’ve spent in the theatre.
The thing about Battle LA – lack of swearing. You ever hang around 19 year old Privates? They use the F bomb as anything from Subject to Adverb. And their conversation? Alcohol and women.
And please, anything Twilight related HAS to be on this list. (Granted, I would not force you to watch that dreck)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/beingelmo-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Ratner-GLAAD-150x150.jpg)
I hope this little paragraph inspires some flamers and trolls to pop in and completely miss my point.
WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING HER? BECAUSE OF HER FAITH HUH?? OBAMA’S A MUSLIM BUT YOU WON’T ATTACK HIM!!
““We are not going to die here!” and “We gotta hit them with everything we got!” For the love of anything holy, people don’t talk like that.”
Shows how much you know. That’s exactly what I say to the mirror every time I am about to have sex.
If faced with an alien attack force in Los Angeles, I would assume that the California reservists would call their friends back home who didn’t enlist and ask them for whatever help the can get in upgrading their arsenal.
Fortunately I saw none of those movies.
I thought Ryan Reynolds was Canadian…
Green Lantern is actually a pretty good movie to rent if you know a 12-year-old you want to distract for a bit while you plow his mother.
Alternately, Real Steel is a pretty good movie to rent if you know a mother you want to distract for a bit while you plow her 12-year-old son.
Burnsy, you watched a lot of terrible movies. I feel for you, bro.
Vanessa Hudgens in tight leather? I’m slappin’ something alright.
I will find a reason to like Apollo 18 even if it kills me. That premise looked so bulletproof.
Where is Twilight?
@The Reverend Skeleton
“Vanessa Hudgens in tight leather? I’m slappin’ something alright.”
The bass?
I assume this was finished before New Year’s Eve. Crap served on trite toast, served sanitized with a liberal dose of inanity for all. #1 worst, soul sucking piece of dreck this year – though I have to admit I wouldn’t go near a Sandler flick on a dare, so you could be right.
Are you not allowed to toss in “Tree of Life” because your artsy-fartsy friends won’t talk to you anymore?
It opened with a Bible quote and German choir, had obnoxious voice overs of non-sequitors and even had a cut scene of a leaf blowing away. All that was missing was the word “Fin.” at the end.
@ Leapin_Lizards – Totally agree. Pretty bad.
“Wow, you’re right, nobody’s done a Starship Troopers-Signs medley yet. So yeah, I guess here’s $70,000,000.” – the producers of Battle: Los Angeles
It’s not so much that Larry Crowne was bad, it’s just that there’s nothing there to be bad. Plus, in ten years, people will think it’s about Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo stealing art or diamonds.
Judging solely by the pics of the top 10, if you had Michael Pena in your movie this year, your movie sucked.
(Battle LA, Tower Heist, Not Pic’d: 30 Min or Less)
“then why the hell are you still sending Ben Stiller to jail for two years?”
Because Charlie Sheen goes to jail at the end of Wall Street and Brett Ratner fashions himself as a modern-day Oliver Stone.
A few things Brett can do to go full Olly:
-Switch from coke to crack
-Shove the shrimp up his ass
-Go to war
The Mighty Feklahr is so glad He has heroes like Burnsy and Vince to take cinematic bullets for Him. Qaplah!
Also, The Klingon Empire would nominate “Sucker Punch” for Worst Movie of 2011. Qovlpathing flick was a forshak pile stuffed in a blender of failgaritas.
Stiller going to jail may have been part of the Ocean’s 11 ripoff, since that ends with Clooney going back to prison. So the ending not only sucks, it’s unoriginal.
BattLA should get a special award as Worst Movie Promoted by an Actor Saying He Went to “Boot Camp” to Make it Realistic. That line has been played out since Platoon. Also, soldiers (e.g. Army, not Marines) go to basic training, not boot camp, so fuck you.
Which one of these is the movie where a baby shits in a guy’s mouth?
@The Mutt
THANK YOU, I asked a theater worker the same thing, and she just looked at me like I was the crazy one.
have you seriously watched all this dreck… you poor fucker
I’m not sure if it was awesom-o or not but south park did predict this movie. its not fake, i remember seeing the episode when jack and jill was coming out and being freaked out, just like when they predicted osama would be shot in the eye by a SEAL team. Trey and Matt are modern day prophets
Someone needs to photoshop “alpaca” on the handlebars in that Abduction still.
There are a lot of Yes Men on this board.
“he gets a lifetime pass from me because Layer Cake is the absolute bomb”
+++
Is it, fuck?
this review is bulls#*t. You need a new job…
I love this blog. My hatred for shitty Hollywood and the steaming turds it manufactures is happily sated on this site. I also love when people are afraid to find out they were wrong all along about something Rolling Stone magazine trained them to hate. Like that moment Chris Hitchens told Bill ‘The Forehead’ Maher and his audience that they were all a bunch of mouth-breathing drones with no clue about anything. I also love how Sarah Palin makes those drones get all phlegmy and sweaty and blubbery. Whatever you do, don’t watch “The Undefeated”. That way you can avoid the hurt caused by enlightenment. Keep calm, stay in line, and vote the way they tell you. And FUCK Happy Madison.
Layer Cake IS the bomb. Burn Hollywood.
Battle: Los Angeles was a good movie and does not belong on this list of crap.
You know what does belong on this list? Black Swan and the King’s Speech. Black Swan because there was no scissoring as promised and the movie sucked. The King’s speech because nothing is more annoying than watching contemporary ideology being incorporated into another era that clearly did not share our views.
Is scissoring really a thing? I’ve always assumed it was just a porn cliche for the viewers’ pleasure.
Somehow, no matter how many bad reviews I read, I can’t hate Sucker Punch. I don’t know why. I’ve seen it like 8 times, too. I just love that movie, everything about it.
In fact, Now I’m going to watch Sucker Punch again tonight. Woot!
The more realistic alternative to Battle: LA would have involved the aliens landing on LA, getting blasted by about 1,000 gangs and assorted loonies, the aliens getting their ships and weapons stripped down to their intergalactic screws, and the movie ending with some cholo riding down sunset blvd in a deuce-and-a-quarter with antigravity custom-made hydraulics doing double-backflips. THAT would have been a better movie.
Everyone who lambasts the dialogue of Battle:LA as cliched obviously haven’t been engaged in any form of armed combat; under the circumstances of the film, the dialogue suits the story very well. If my platoon commander started spouting off Hamlet in a Richard Burton voice in the heat of battle, we would have relieved him on the spot of his command. If you want kick ass acting and dialogue, seek out a movie with Day-Lewis in it, as one would expect, not from a combat driven action movie. A movie like Battle:LA should not be looked at subjectively in that light.
Little Faulkers was last year? Because that will be the standard bearer for shit movies that I watched in the theaters for my lifetime, no doubt.
Hi. Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m a sweet, friendly, honest and caring girl in search of casual encounters. I like making friends with out pressure, so I got a profile(Angel78) on –Casualloving dot c’0m–. It’s where for men and women looking for intimate encounters.
It’s the first and safe place for people who wanna to start a short-term relationship. Maybe you wanna hit me up, seriously!no bounds or limits in front of true love.
++++++Life is short. Enjoy yourself.
I hope this little paragraph inspires some flamers and trolls to pop in and completely miss my point.
Your point being, your blind rage is caused not by her politics, but that she’s the only national politician you know of who sought fame?
Oh, thank God, finally SOMEONE saying something negative about Bridesmaids. I feel as though that movie got such a free pass for being created by women (thanks for the handicap, guys!) that most people were scared to say that it was remarkably tedious in spots elst they appear anti-women. Certain scenes dragged on endlessly, the joke beaten to the ground, and to Burnsy’s point, the areas ripe for hilarity (of which there are many in all the shit that goes into wedding planning and female competition therein) were missed as we focused on Annie’s shittastic life and outlook. That was my major problem with the movie: the main character was quite possibly the least likeable person (and shittiest friend) in the world and I didn’t want to spend one minute with her. Thank god for Melissa McCarthy and a few random non-Wiig scenes or it would have been one of the worst two hours I’ve spent in the theatre.
@ GerBear
+ 1000
The thing about Battle LA – lack of swearing. You ever hang around 19 year old Privates? They use the F bomb as anything from Subject to Adverb. And their conversation? Alcohol and women.
And please, anything Twilight related HAS to be on this list. (Granted, I would not force you to watch that dreck)