"Is my career in there?"
Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 classic, Starship Troopers, is either a brilliant satire of a terrible movie or a brilliantly terrible movie, depending on whom you ask. And while fans seemingly would have already gotten their fill of giant bugs and Jumpball from two direct-to-DVD sequels, Sony, along with Fast/Furious producer Neil Moritz, have decided it’s high time for a reboot of the franchise (that’s industry talk for a remake of the original that ignores the stories of the sequels). In related news, Casper Van Dien’s offer to suck your dick for a corndog still stands. “Please,” he said, “I’m so hungry…”
Moritz has assigned the script to screenwriters Ashley Edward Miller and Zack Stentz, who, among other things, wrote Thor and X-Men: First Class, as well as many episodes of the TV shows Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Fringe. Of course, they also wrote Agent Cody Banks. [Vulture]
How dare you! Anyone with half a brain knows that Agent Cody Banks was actually a scathing critique of the proto-fascist tendencies of the cloak and dagger milieu, NOT TO MENTION a frolicsome send up of the post-corporate, Malcolm in the Middle middle class. In any case, I think the choice for a new Johnny Rico is obvious: Kellen Lutz. Kellen Lutz is the Casper Van Dien of the post-post-9/11 era.
NEEDS MOAR JUMPBALL!
Also: Is “Rico” the Latin version of “Chad?” Discuss.
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When Gary Busey is your father, you’ve pretty much been preparing for this scene your entire life.
Neil Patrick Harris was in Starship Troopers, remember that?
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I won’t hold my breath for a movie worthy of the interesting philosophical and moral questions raised by the original book, because I would die.
Rico is Filipino for Smith, puto.
There are no sequels. Nope, none. I refuse to acknowledge any sequels, there was only one Starship Troopers movie, and then there were two knockoffs, that’s all.
Somewhere out there Andy Serkis is covered in ping pong balls and staring intensely at a cockroach.
I cant help but wonder why they fought the aliens on ground. When all they had to do was sit in an aircraft and blast them to death. Not one aircraft was used in any fight scene.
Would you like to know more?
@Doug: Don’t try to pick apart the movie’s logical defects…that way leads to madness. Though there was one scene with an airstrike, but of course it worked so well the humans never used another.
That movie was so awful that it couldn’t even be saved by explosions, boobs, giant alien insects, amputee stuntmen AND Jake Busey.
I do not care what anyone says Starship Troopers was an awesome movie. It had all the violence and tits my teen brain craved with a aci-fi twist. The only people who don’t like it are non-citizens and people who read. And lets be honest here: fuck those people.
@Doug Drabek did you not see the entire space fleet destroyed by bug jizz ejaculated into space?
sci-fi* man they need an edit button on here for retards like myself.
“Somewhere out there Andy Serkis is covered in ping pong balls and staring intensely at a cockroach.”
“Andy became the cockroach. He’d wait until craft services threw food in the trash before eating. Every time a light turned on he’d run under a couch. You’d have to prod him with a broom to get him out from under there to set up a shot. Brilliant”.
God I used to want to get into Denis Richard’s Flip Six Three Hole.
Of all people, that is the Kurgan throwing the knife at Mr. Busey’s hand (also the head guard from Shawshank prison)
“God I used to want to get into Denis Richard’s Flip Six Three Hole.”
Too late. [en.wikipedia.org]
@sicsfo
I’ll have you know, boobs can save ANY movie. Boobs are to the box office, as retards are to the Academy.
Now good day sir. I said good day!
Ashley Edward Miller, huh? Well, you know what they say about guys named Ashley.
…
Oh, you don’t? Guys named Ashley can abduct the forshak out of
Toddlers in TiarasDolphin Cheerleaders!Um, that is meant to be “Cheerleaders for the Miami Dolphins”, not actual “dolphin cheerleaders”. He just fucks their blowholes.
I wonder why they never did a Starship Troopers 10th anniversary reunion special. Casper Van Dien could’ve certainly used the catering gig.
Denise Richards movie featuring nudity that does not feature Denise Richards nudity? You go straight to hell, Starship Troopers.
/clutches Wild Things VHS, curls up in corner, rocks back and forth
Can’t we just throw Master Chief in there and call it HALO, then call it a day?
Michael Ironside or GTFO.
I’m down if they get Clancy Brown to play the drill sergeant again
Michael Ironside’s “THEY SUCKED HIS BRAINS OUT” is cinematic gold.
“Casper Van Dien’s offer to suck your dick for a corndog still stands.” If only Van Dien could protege under Willem Dafoe, he could possibly get a good supporting role as a villain in movies of variable quality.
Anybody else find it weird that Clancy Brown is the voice of Mr Krabs in SpongeBob Square Pants?
Mo Charlo, Michael Ironside himself is cinematic gold.
“C’mon you apes, you wanna live forever?”
- Lt. John Rasczak
I’m really freaking excited to hear this. Having read the novel (which is great), a little part of me dies inside whenever I see how badly they mangled the first attempt at this movie.
With some decent screen writers, maybe there’s a chance they’ll tackle some of the deeper ethical / moral questions the book talked about.
Oh, and hopefully they’ll actually have the powered armor this time around. The entire point of the mobile infantry in the book was the suits that turned every soldier into something of a one man army.
Man, this was my first rated R movie that I went to. You cannot begin to comprehend sitting in a theater and watching boobs for the first time. It was fucking sweet.
I mean, they killed a whole city of Latino’s AND a outpost full of Mormons, how could anyone hate this movie!? (Besides Latino Mormons.)
Let’s just hope the shower scene is in the women-only locker room this time…