Mary Harron‘s film adaptation of American Psycho is eleven years old now, and people have heard of it, so I suppose a remake was inevitable. While I’d be the first one to tell you that the book is better than the movie, Christian Bale captures Patrick Bateman in such a way that it’s impossible not to see his face and hear his voice when you re-read it (I’d say the same thing about the character Jack Black plays in High Fidelity). Sadly, nothing is sacred in this town, not even a hot buff dude killing whores with a chainsaw. (*old Indian sheds a single tear*)

Lionsgate has tapped Noble Jones to write and direct a reimagining of “American Psycho” that will go back to Bret Easton Ellis’ 1991 satirical novel, which Mary Harron previously adapted in 2000 as a feature starring Christian Bale.
Low-budget project, which has not yet been greenlit at Lionsgate, is currently in the early stages of development at the studio.

I asked a Lionsgate exec exactly how low a budget they were thinking, but he just told me to feed him a stray cat.

Set in Manhattan during the Wall Street boom of the late 1980s, “American Psycho” concerns the daily life of Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker by day who becomes a homicidal maniac by night.
Jones pitched the project to Lionsgate several months ago and recently turned in a script that explores how Bateman would fare in modern day Gotham.
A protege of David Fincher, Jones is a commericals and music video helmer who served as second unit director for the Boston-shot scenes in Fincher’s award-winning drama “The Social Network.” [Variety]

So it’s a low-budget remake, from a first-time director, set in modern times, where Patrick Bateman probably works for Goldman-Sachs and spontaneously launches into long-form, quasi-critical analyses of Drake and Rihanna? Jesus Christ, that sounds awful. I asked a Lionsgate exec what could possible possess a person to allow something like this, and he just gritted his teeth and enunciated carefully, “Because. I want. To fit. In.”

I’d rather eat at Texarkana. And that place is a shithole.

“Hey, Paul, is that Selena Gomez over there?”