
There’s a new poster for the American Pie reunion movie out, and the big news is that it finally answers the question that’s been on everyone’s minds: Is Natasha Lyonne still alive? She lives, apparently, AND she’s going to be in the movie (presumably with a bigger part than Shannon Elizabeth, who’s nowhere to be seen). There’s still a chance Andy Serkis is covered with ping pong balls, drunkenly rasping sex advice into a lav mic somewhere, but we’ll give the real Lyonne the benefit of the doubt for now.
Meanwhile, the poster raises at least as many questions as it answers. Questions like, is Chris Klein’s head bigger than Mena Suvari’s entire torso? Why the hell is everyone tilted sideways? What’s so fascinating about the back of Alyson Hannigan’s head, or the side of Stifler’s neck? And where would Tara Reid’s butt go in that arrangement? Hopefully these will all be answered somewhere on down the line. You may also notice that Alyson Hannigan’s flute has been replaced with a baby bottle, presumably to illustrate that there comes a time in every woman’s life where she has to stop filling up herself and start filling up babies. Or maybe it’s a hint that she’s going to shove a bottle in her pussy this time. That’d be kinky, no? Squirting your own goo back into yourself like that? Reminds me of this trick my cousin Ricky used to do.



I’m thinking that this arrangement is not a whole lot different from what you’d see in Tara Reid’s bedroom on a typical Friday night.
This movie seems to think people missed the characters from this movie franchise, but how could you when the last sequel was made what three years ago? The whole thing has been dragging the corpse of the original around for the last decade.
Oh good! It’s the “last” one!
The day the sun explodes and incinerates the planet and exterminates human civilization entirely, MAYBE I will believe there will be no more unnecessary American Pie sequels.
MAYBE.
The amount of hours it must have taken in photoshop to make Tara Reid look nominally attractive again is mind boggling.
They’ve really captured the spirit of a school reunion: Feigning enthusiasm for idiots you’ve made a point of avoiding for a decade.
It’s good to see Chris Schwarzenegger working again.
The poster certainly piques our interest, hinting at the burning question on everyone’s mind: Will there be more comestible-related hijinks?
Natasha resurfaced on an episode of New Girl a few weeks ago. The Phil Collins song played at the end really brought the whole thing together.
Any word if Sum 41 got hired on as Craft Services? I worry about those guys sometimes…
This is the closest poor Tara Reid’s been to standing upright this millenium.
Damn scoliosis.
Natasha Lyonne was on SVU just a few weeks ago.
They’re older, wiser, classier. I bet he fucks a gateaux in this one.
If you’re implying that they weren’t all in the same room for this picture, then I really don’t have time for this nonsense.
*Photoshops Dreamworks eyes on picture of self, and violently masturbates*
Jason Biggs’ face says, “Here we go again!” but his choice in suits says, “I’m still a rubber faced twat.”
God is there any photos of Jason Biggs where he doesn’t have a punch me face?
“LOL I WONDER HOW HE IS GOING TO MESS UP JACKING OFF THIS TIME?!” -no one
I once taped the back of Alison Hanigan’s head to the back of my girlfriend’s head. I thought it made a favorable alternative to the paper sack.
If they served apple pie at my high school reunions, I’d be way more likely to go.
Stiffler’s Mom will be play by Gary Busey.
milk milk lemonade around the corner chris kleins head is FUCKING GIGANTIC! RUN!!!
…well, I came here to post something snarky about the photo, but after reading all the comments so far, it looks like everything has already been covered.
Yep. Yep. Good.
These people were the Brat Pack of my generation, and I will not sit idly by while you disrespect…aw, fuck ‘em.
Lyonne’s character only works if she is fingerbanging Shannon Elizabeth on a Tube8 Livestream while Stiffler’s Mom is whacking off.
@Vince – The Andy Serkis bit made my day. Thank you.
For what it’s worth – the poster is a re-staging of the characters as they were in the poster for the first American Pie. See [www.imdb.com] for comparison.
Wow. That’s fascinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dude, I just saw Natasha Lyonne in the Lower East Side last month at a late night falafel place. I accidently made eye contact and feared for my life.
Needs more Nadia.