The newest trailer for The Iron Lady was just released today, and HOLY HELL, this is a joke, right? Tell me this is a parody of boring biopics. I got five seconds in. FIVE SECONDS, before I wanted to puke. Right from the first words of the very first voiceover set to tinkly piano music and grey flashback b-roll.
“I will never be one of those women who stays silent on the arm of her husband! One’s life must matter, Dennis!”
“That’s why I want to marry you, my dear.”
NO ONE ON EARTH HAS EVER TALKED LIKE THAT. EVER. Not even in England do people wax poetic about “one’s life” when they talk to their boyfriends, and dramatically punctuate their statements with the person’s name. In real life, people don’t constantly say each other’s names unless they’re on walkie-talkies. Stop doing that.
‘She was an outsider. She was a rebel.’
MARGARET THATCHER?!?! We’re still talking about Margaret f*cking Thatcher here, right? Because for a second there, I kept expecting someone to screech up in the General Lee.
“With all duuuue respect, sir, I HAVE done battle. Ev-ray SINGLE day of my life.”
OH SNAP, SON! SHE BEEN STRANGLIN’ PATRIARCHAL OPPRESSION WITH HER PEARLS AND DROWNING GENDER ROLES IN HEAPS OF PANT SUITS, YOU BETTER ASK SOMEBOOOODDAAAAAY…
Let me see if I can summarize: A childhood dream, a physical challenge, a lifelong friendship, war, redemption… Yep, that’s every dramatic beat of every boring biopic ever. Only this one’s not about Johnny Cash, it’s about MARGARET THATCHER. And the big climactic war is THE F*CKING FALKLANDS (sorry, Argentino, I mean the Malvinas). This is not a movie, it’s a model train. Weinstein seriously moved this to December thinking it’s going to win awards? Because this looks like the Daredevil of biopics. I would rather watch the new Three Stooges movie six times than this.
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1). The voice over at the beginning was a shriek. THAT’S the first thing you want audiences to hear?
2). I’m sure Thatcher knocked down walls and such by being the first woman to be PM or whatever, but was she really a “Rebel”? Really?
3). Again, just call this “Oscar Fodder Part II” after “My Week With Marilyn”.
Plus Vince you may hate it but you KNOW if someone just slaps a historical figure in a movie in December it’s winning something. Then they can put on the DVD box that it “Won/Nominated for Three Academy Awards”
Interesting fact: This movie was named Iron Lady as a symbol for the torture you’ll endure from having to watch it.
but how many times would u watch this if she drove everywhere in the General Lee?
ones life indeed…
*strums banjo, chugs moonshine and punches nearest woman in the baby bucket
I’d rather see Meryl Streep playing Meryl Streep, it’d be way more sexy than this thing.
I think I’ll just chew on my ballsack for two hours instead.
This is abysmal
In times like these, we cannot forget that Iron Lady is what Schwarzenegger called his maid.
This is basically The King’s Speech, except the stutter is not having a dong.
I’ll wait for the Imelda Marcos biopic. At least that cunt had nice shoes.
Really we shouldn’t be so hard on Maggie. She’s anion lady, being negative is her thing.
“The Falklands” is where the Wahlberg boys took all their dates.
For sexing.
Hollywood’s nearing the bottom of the list of people they can do biopics on — it’s almost your turn, Fred Durst!
They call this The Iron Lady, but I don’t see this bitch doin’ any ironing. The fuck?
Women be strugglin’.
Oh good, let’s celebrate Thatcher as a feminist icon. And then we can move on to “Dr.” Laura Schlessinger and Ann Coulter.
Yeah, but…she never backed down. Or something. Besides, I think there’s a rule that Meryl Streep has to be nominated for an Oscar every year. It’s in the constitution. Or something.
6 Kate Uptons in sexy nun costumes? I’d rather watch that, too.
Goddamn it! Why does Richard E.Grant have to be in this movie? I haven’t seen him since The Spice Girls. Boo!
If they’d made it after she died this could’ve been a feelgood movie. They could have had a montage of smiling people around the world like the end of Malcolm X but all joyfully intoning “I spat on Thatcher’s grave.” Then they have a big party like the last scene of Bugsy Malone crossed with those vampire raves they always seem to have in Blade movies, but populated mainly by broken middle-aged ex-factory workers feeling some joy creep into their bitter dry hearts for the first time in two decades and all soundtracked by bounce versions of Oi Polloi and Crass songs.
CB: I saw Richard E. Grant in the audience at an Eddie Izzard show a coupla weeks ago. With Tony Robinson.
In Melbourne. AUSTRALIA.
I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t huffing paint.
I love how they make it look like she was the first and only woman in Parliament.
They’d been there since the 20s, and when Thatcher showed up, there were more than two dozen.
this is it…steady the bus, old girl…
Unless that is prelude to an anal scene, not interested.
And you’ve waited this long to brag about it? I admire your restraint, spaz.
And Richard E. Grant gets a lifelong pass for everything, from Spice Girls to this load of cack. He earned it.
Pop Quiz: What rewards await for the first actress who plays a famous, trail-blazing famous person with mental disabilities, while wearing prosthetics to make her uglier, while overcoming white-people-style adversity, while using an accent, in a period-piece?
Answer: Ben Roethlisberger assaults her in a bathroom.
@ Ace Rimmer “She’s anion lady, being negative is her thing.”
Bravo.
/Slow clap.
Sure, they got Streep to look the part real well but they completely dropped the ball when it comes to capturing the magnificence of British men’s hairstyles in the ’80s.
As an Argentinian I find it admirable that a citizen of the good ole US of A knows about the Spanish name for the Falklands. Bravo, sir.
Speaking of knowing, I want to know Kate Upton dressed as a nun. In the biblical sense.
The uplifting music starting at about 1:35 made me giggle.
It would make sense if the words “An SNL Digital Short” appeared in the beginning of the trailer.
Bring back Favreau, this movie looks awful, no Robert Downey Jr., nobody even flies in the trailer, worst sequel ever!!
There is a general feeling in Britain, That when Ol’ Lady Thatcher pops her clogs, there will be street parties up and down the country. Thas woman ruined Britain, and if they think I’m going to watch a documentary about her that doesn’t end in an Inglorious Basterds style cathartic bloodbath, then Sir….you are mistaken.
I said good day.
@ Ace Rimmer…. “She’s anion lady, being negative is her thing.”
ha ha ha….
@Martin…
Thanks for pointing Ace Rimmer’s post, I’d missed it… :)
@Jabask…
Then they have a big party…populated mainly by broken middle-aged ex-factory workers feeling some joy creep into their bitter dry hearts for the first time in two decades…”
Excellent! What an apt sentence. :)
And I guess today I should say…
RIP Thatcher.
The old warhorse is finally out to pasture…