The guys from Gwar don’t return my calls anymore after I borrowed their giant fake-jizz squirting paper maché dildo and didn’t give it back, but apparently NextMovie doesn’t have that problem, because they got Oderus Urungus and Balsac the Jaws of Death to review Speilberg’s latest horsploitation film, War Horse. What follows is a review so accurate, AO Scott tried to slit his own wrists with a monogrammed letter opener in recognition of his own futility.
“War Horse is a great movie if you are a five-year-old girl who loves horses and has never seen a movie before.”
“I think they should change the name to Snore Horse.”
I’ve seen it, and I’m still embargoed (GWAR HEEDS NOT YOUR HUMAN EMBARGOES!), but I will say that those are probably the only two reviews you need.
[And just for fun, here’s an old clip of Gwar on Joan Rivers, back when Oderus sounded like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog:
RIP, FLATTUS MAXIMUS.
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You could say Gwar became Scumdog Millionaires.
Hey! They’ve got time for Spielberg but they’ve never turned in a review for my home video, 2 Fist Bi-Curious. (Spoiler: There’s assplay)
I’ve already been
warnedinformed that I will begetting dragged to against my will toseeing this movie.(Pray for me.)
Gwar groupies should be called Gwar Whores.
I didn’t think it was necessary that Joan show up in a costume.
Oh Jesus she looks like that all the time?!
Can’t tell if they got Gwar to do this because they actually have sex with animals or if they, like Spielberg, are so very 1988. I know which one I’d like to believe.
Love GWAR and I’m not ashamed to say that I got sprayed with their alien spunk at a show. It was in Florida so it was super hot in the venue so that jizz was fucking refreshing. No-Homo.
What is it good for? Absolutely gnothing.
God bless Gwar for coming in the cereal of all the religious blowhards than ran this country in the 80′s and early 90′s. Rivers tries so hard to play the righteous indignation card in this clip but they’re three steps ahead of her.
Gwar are the reason i get erect in the morning.
Last time I saw Gwar they pulled out Lady Caca and threw shit at the audience. It was pretty cool. And the time before that they killed the Nazi-Pope and brought out the devil, who so happens to be Jewish and is a giant nose.
Ooh, GWAR, I love that Low Rider song . . .
Expect a Gwar song on their next album called Snore Horse. Their classic Womb With a View came about from their adulatory review of Merchant & Ivory’s EM Forster adaptation.