Ugh. Everything about this story makes me tired. Liberal or conservative, cable news is a pus-spewing fistula on the asshole of society. 90% of it is coming up with a new asinine thought experiment for dickheads to argue about to fill up the next 24 hours of air time. It’s either Woody Hayes Paige (whoops!) shouting at ten other talking heads about whether the Broncos defense is overrated on ESPN or these idiots, it’s all the same. Fox News’ latest segment? Discussing whether Chris Cooper’s greedy oil baron, Tex Richman, in The Muppets, was all part of Hollywood’s sinister master plan to brainwash your children against petroleum-based job creators. WORTHWHILE ARGUMENT! A+ FOR CONSTRUCTIVENESS!
Assorted quotes:
“Is liberal Hollywood using class warfare to brainwash our kids?”
“Yeah, absolutely, and they’ve been doing it for decades.”
“You’ll see all these movies attacking the oil industry, none of them reminding them what oil means for most people. Which is fuel to light a hospital, or heat your home, or maybe fuel an ambulance to get you to the hospital.”
“It’s brainwashing in the most obvious form! I just wish liberals could leave little kids alone!”
“Just a couple months ago there was a starving muppet, the hungry muppet… But if you look out there, we’ve got Medicade, there’s food stamps, there’s SJIP, we have WIC — there’s all these programs out there to take care of hungry kids, why would that Muppet be starving?”
“Maybe they should have the hungry muppets, the food-stamp muppet, and have the evil person be Obama. “
At this point, getting angry at these people is like yelling at the heel in pro wrestling. I don’t think The Muppets is an attempt to indoctrinate the liberal agenda any more than I think Knocked Up was secret pro-life propaganda (and yes, there are actually people who will claim this). People are way too stupid for that level of guile. Need proof? Watch cable news.
BURN IT. BURN IT ALL.
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The Mighty Feklahr’s Klingon persona on Filmdrunk is an overt plot by the Empire to indoctrinate the users of the internet into Theistic Kahlessism. “Dor sho gha!” is really our secret prayer of conversion. All of you belong to Kahless now.
…
So, when we hear back from Kahless, we will figure out what to do…he went out to get a pack of cigarettes, see…
Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the segment.
Waldorf: Who’s a fool? You watched it.
Both: OH HOH HOH HOH HOH!
I don’t watch the news for just this reason. But here, on my favorite blog…
I think that pounding vein in my forehead is pulsing to the muppet song.
Tex Richman is a joke about villain archetypes. He’s LITERALLY trying to drill for oil under the Muppet’s studio whilst forcing his minions to laugh maniacally.
Holy fuck that guys lisp is murdering me alive.
Also, if the hilariously overplayed caricature seems at all recognizable, maybe that’s a you problem.
Hold up. A bitchy, hypocritical bleach blonde woman talking out of her ass and seeing problems where there are none?
Katherine Heigl missed her true calling as a Fox News anchor.
I think you mean Woody Paige. Though Woody Hayes was a shout-y asshole as well.
Kermit/Piggy is long-standing propaganda in support of miscegenation.
And the chicken always beating the Swedish chef? An all-out assault on the meat industry by tree-hugging hippies.
Let’s not forget the parallels between Grover and Black Nationalism.
I would love to go on one of these shows for the 5 seconds they’d let me before I shouted “Are you fucking kidding me” over and over as they dragged me off the set.
And mahna mahna?
If you play it backwards it sounds like “Anham, Anham”
Which, if you translate from arabic, means roughly, “Kill Israel”
I think we all know that “Rainbow Connection” is pro-gay propaganda.
Kermit the Frog: Green party extremist, or animal-rights eco terrorist? We can’t know for sure, so let’s assume for now that he’s both.
It’s all based on greed. Whether its dollars in the bank or pats on the back.
I always thought FoxNews™ was an elaborate plot designed to indoctrinate our grandparents…
Kids shows used to be about sharing and being nice to your friends. The exact tenants that big business advocates daily.
i thought “sharing and being nice to people” was a uniquely liberal position. on the bright side, however, apparently thanks to food stamps no one in America ever starves. load off my mind
Isn’t making money off of your philosophy the most capitalist thing you can do? You don’t like the message? Write a blockbuster movie about drilling.
Don’t you see, each Muppet character is a criticism of today’s conservatives: Miss Piggy is Megan McCain, Gonzo is Hermain Cain and Animal is the rest of those fuckheads all in one
I might agree with their point, but I don’t watch kids movies like Syriana and There Will Be Blood
Is it just me, or was the host’s little story at the end of the first interview, about seeing a guy drive by in a nice car and saying, “See that, he runs his own company, you could be like that one day,” pretty much stolen from Adam Carolla’s rant against the OWS people from a few days ago?
If Woody Hayes is yelling, it’s for someone to let him out of this damn box.
Hollywood corporations like MGM, Disney, Universal, et all hate Corporate America. Just look at the way they steal their money just to show their characters using their products.
Must… resist… must… not… talk politics…
*goes outside to smoke a cigarette*
Isn’t making money off of your philosophy the most capitalist thing you can do? You don’t like the message? Write a blockbuster movie about drilling.
Bingo.
For people who insist they are the true defenders of the free market, the crew at Fox News doesn’t have the slightest fucking clue how it works.
Instead of bitching about how the Muppets are a liberal plot and the Teletubbies are turning kids gay, they should focus on their adoring fans. I’m thinking an hour of nothing but bright shiny objects — maybe some tin foil, or a grown-up dangling a set of car keys — and then a blonde bimbo shouting “GAY MEXICAN LIBERALS ARE COMING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS!” over and over again, as Glenn Beck sobs and wets himself in the background.
All those fucks need to watch Jesus Camp and then they can ask fair and balanced questions about brainwashing children.
And that’s the reason I don’t watch cable news. I’m a current events junkie, and I’m probably one of the more crazy right-wingers who reads FilmDrunk religiously, but I can’t stand to watch Fox News. At least, if I see idiots saying bullshit on CNN, I can chortle and say, “Hmph, fucking ignorant leftists.” But all those cable news stations are just as full of shit.
I can’t even be in a room where one of those stations are playing with the sound on, or or I start verbally responding to the nonsense, with increasing volume. Airport terminals are fun, when the gate staff wonders how the angry guy who’s having a corner bum dialog with the TV monitor got past Security.
Please let’s just keep Filmdrunk a safe place, an alternate universe where cable news, and dangerous ignorance about how we’re all fucked, doesn’t exist.
They would have a better argument if they simply could name one oil tycoon that isn’t evil. Can’t do it can you Fox & Friends?
Exactly, Otto, everything is political. Why should liberals not sell a liberally biased product? That’s what America is all about.
I actually find Daniel Plainview to be someone that I aspire to become. I also may have missed the point of There Will Be Blood.
Also, the Muppets have always been politically leftist/progressive to some extent. I’d bet the new movie is much less political than the old episodes of the show were. What I’ve always liked is that the character who plays the ball-busting, emasculating feminist is named “Ms. Piggy.”
I can’t believe she’s still single after all these years! What a catch she is!
I for one welcome our new Muppet overlords.
Whoa man, remember those Sid and Marty Kroft shows? Yeah man, they taught me to…they showed me how…oh forget it, hey you guys got any of them nacho flavored Doritos? Yeah.
I think Liam Neeson punching foxes in the face would be a neat movie.
So Fox News didn’t like the fart shoes either? More like F. Oz News, am I right?
*giant hook to the face*
Any who watches either Fox News or MSNBC should be put on an island somewhere
Wow. Rush really lost some weight.
Newscasts delivered by Sam the Eagle or GTFO
I don’t get it, any way you look at it, fox news looks like a parody of a corrupt news network, and the hole republican party looks complete rong, why are these things still around?
Fox News is defending the integrity of oil barons against the liberal propaganda of The Muppets. In completely unrelated news, Roger Ailes went to a local Johnny Rockets and drank from everyone else’s milkshakes.
HE DRANK THEM UP!
I went to high school with Woody Paige’s daughter. She was and is hot.
Someone tell those damn muppets to leave those faceless old oil barons alone. They’ve never hurt anyone or anything…except the environment, wildlife, humans in foreign countries over pointless wars and people in the Western world by creating an over reliance on the product that they have almost complete control over…
If TV News was a people I would join the Klan. Cuz you know they’d be hatin’.
If Fox News spent more than four minutes actually reporting the news instead of white knighting for their rich boyfriends, they’d realize they’re making their grandparents cry.
“You’re not fit to change my diaper, Sean Hannity”
“Wait, why are you using my full name?”
“Your momma tried to abort you. And like everything else she does, she failed”