Last week it was announced that Lionsgate had found a director and writer for a remake of American Psycho. While most people cried foul and came out strongly against any attempt to alter such a fundamental example of Christian Bale looking bulgy in his underpants, American Psycho writer Bret Easton Ellis came out in favor of the remake, and in favor of the idea to update the setting to present-day New York. Once again, most people seem to hate that idea, given American Psycho's association with the 80s, prompting one commenter to write "Taking American Psycho out of the 80s is like taking the fat out of bacon, the cheese off of pizza, the skin off of fried chicken..."
But here at FilmDrunk, we pride ourselves on being visionaries, which is why we went to GREAT PAINS (hours and hours, slaving over the keyboard!) to imagine what American Psycho might look like in 2011. Yes, this is one of the dumber things we've ever done. Enjoy. (thanks to Stallonewolf for the banner caption)
"Listen, the chipotle mud and charcoal creme-freche are exquisite here."
"Tyler Shields. We'll get Tyler Shields. And we'll have to get someone to Flipcam it. Patrick, we should do it."
"Do what?"
"Leak a sex tape."
(thanks, Brendan)
(thanks, Michelle)
Possible edit: "And maybe you even follow my Tumblr and you can sense that our lifestyles are comparable..."
(Again, Thanks, Michelle)
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-When was the last time you were with Paul Allen?
-We’d gone to see…the new Adam Sandler movie. It was a laugh riot.
I like di-sexting girls. Did you know I’m utterly
insaneinane?I think the Pluto ending hits pretty fucking hard.
Don’t just look at it; eat it. Then make her do the goatse pose.
Your @ reply was sufficient, Luis
Do you take Paypal? Just kidding.
There was no ad on Craigslist. I think you should go now.
- Hey, I’m a child of same sex parents, gimme a break!
- I’m fucking serious. It’s fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don’t think we should see each other any more.
- But your Facebook friends are my Facebook friends and my Facebook friends are your Facebook friends. I really don’t think it would work. You have a little something…
- I know that your Facebook friends are my Facebook friends and, uh… I’ve thought about that. You can have ‘em.
- I have to return some Netflix DVD’s. I have to return some Red Box rentals.
Finally you can keep this one exactly as it was in the original :
- What does Mr. Grinch want for Christmas? And don’t say breast implants again.
I don’t really “get” Lady Gaga; too artsy.
Fake trailer for the original is really funny
[youtu.be]
If there’s anything – ANYTHING – that should have stayed in the 80s/early 90s, it’s everything associated with Bret Easton Ellis.
I’ll spit on him if I see him in the street.
Someone should make a photoshop pic of Bale doing situps with the tv on, but instead of the end of Texas Chainsaw playing, it’s Jersey Shore/Rebecca Black/some other annoying bitches.
Was there this much outrage over the Mila Kunis straight-to-DVD sequel? [www.imdb.com]
-New MySpace layout. What’dya think? Graphic artist finished it yesterday.
-Good coloring.
-That’s bone. And the font is called Helvetica.
-That’s very cool Bateman, but that’s nothing. Eggshell, with Comic Sans MS font. Whattaya think?
I can’t believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten’s layout to mine.
Bah, wait.. MySpace isn’t fucking up to date for 2011. a;dlfkja;sdf I’ll try again.
-Not quite a poof, is it? More of a Bumpit.
I was there in the 80′s. They weren’t that good.
Oh man, Skooch, I saw that movie. It was crap-tacular.
And I for one am shocked, SHOCKED that Ellis would be behind the retelling of a regurgitated zeitgeist updated to pander to a new generation who might be willing to pay for his nasty coke whore habit*
*assumed coke whore habit
I’m all for the modernization of the church, but those nasty coke whore habits really are a bit much.
/blacks out
//wakes up
“Regurgitated zeitgeist”? Methinks it’s Michelle with the MFA from Colombia amirite?
Pluto will always be a planet! Do you here me God? ALWAYS!
Bateman: Do you like Nickleback?
Paul Allen: They’re ok.
Bateman: Their early work was a little to hard rock for my tastes, but when Silver Side Up came out in ’01 I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically.
Why, spank you very much Mr. Farthammer!
*tips hat, falls down stairs.
hitler isn’t happy about the proposed american psycho remake
[www.youtube.com]