"Eh, oh, I got ya poison apple right heah!"
Hollywood’s pulling a Dante’s Peak/Volcano with us in early 2012 when it releases two Snow White movies within a few months of each other. Rupert Sanders’ Snow White and the Huntsman stars Charlize Theron as an evil queen who’s deathly jealous of Kristen Stewart’s beauty, which does tend to stretch the bounds of credulity. Meanwhile, Tarsem Singh’s Mirror Mirror seems to be much less concerned with sword fighting and magic, and much more concerned with lavish costumes and foppish dandies. Julia Roberts plays the queen, jealous of ingenue Lily Collins, who, in addition to being Phil Collins daughter, has gnarliest eyebrows in all the land (she comes from a magical place called Armenia), and likes to rock out to Bollywood dance numbers. Soft rock royalty or not, mean old Julia isn’t about to be upstaged, so when Armie Hammer, the WASPiest prince in all of New Haven shows up, uh… some other stuff happens. Like with dwarves and junk. Exciting!
Snow White!
Snow Who?
Snow Way!
That should really be the tagline.
[HD available at Yahoo. Opens March 16]
(if you can’t watch the above embed for some reason, here’s a YouTube copy)
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‘Say hello to my little fwiend.’ is Dwarfish for nutshot in the trailer.
I’m with the badgers on this one.
The video is no longer available. Julia Roberts face and irritating laugh have broken another film.
Armie Hammer might be the only guy in Hollywood who can out-WASP Bradley Cooper.
So, whereas Snow White and the Huntsman wants us to believe Kristen Stewart is hotter than Charlize Theron, this one asks us to believe in a realm where the hottest chick is a 6?
I can’t watch the trailer at work due to some new IT restrictions on Adobe Flash video.
Thank you IT, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Lily Collins is a Mentat? Discuss.
It looks like the butthole from the Flowers of War poster is pooping her head.
(Now THAT’S how you market a Julia Roberts movie.)
The casting of this version is still better, though. Julia Roberts as an aging, insecure tyrant makes perfect sense, and Armie Hammer was born to play a real life Disney prince.
Snow White and the Cuntsman?
The Yahoo embed works fine for me, but just in case it helps I added a YouTube version.
I’m going to guess it doesn’t have even half the number of silly hats Immortals does.
Rumours are the entire movie was filmed inside Elton John’s closet.
This is the Heidi Klum Halloween costume of movies: bizarrely beautiful, until she opens her mouth and ruins everything.
Mirror Mirror? Couldn’t be queerer queerer!
In all fairness, Julia Roberts dosing the chachbag from The Social Network does sound like something that would happen in real life.
Do those brows get their own billing, because, damn.
Also, the first time it said it had been removed. Lying Yahoosits
“I want you to kill Snow White, and bring me her heart!… Also, bring me a the hearts of a few husky puppies… yes… this pleases me”
Martin Klebba is my generation’s David Rappaport.
Christ
At least this one has a bunch of midgets running around. So it has that going for it. Which is nice.
Hmm, Lily Collins. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes. Her head looks like it was colorized by Frank Miller.
The only actress around who should play Snow White is Alison Brie.
You know it makes sense.
So… uh…
how you like them apples?