
You may remember last April when Relativity Media was negotiating with Bradley Cooper to star in a “reboot” of The Crow, which was somehow going to reinvent the franchise by being darker and grittier™ than the original, despite starring a guy who looks like he just fell off a sailboat in Connecticut. Cooper dropped out (supposedly, they actually wanted C-Tates or Mark Wahlberg to replace him) and the project has been on hold ever since, possibly because the guy whose idea it was managed to poke his eye out with safety scissors.
But now some concept art from the film that was to be has leaked out, and I have to say, I’m sorry I ever doubted this project. I had no idea that “dark and gritty” was going to mean “a top hat with a skull on it.” Suddenly, all my reservations have disappeared. It’s like if you tell me you’re going to take a ’69 Mustang and make it more extreme, I probably wouldn’t believe you, because it’s already so extreme. But then if you drive up in that same car and it has flames painted on it? I’d probably be all, “Whoa, dude, that is pretty extreme.”
The real victim in all of this is the Steampunk Hatter, and all of the business they’re going to lose.

[From Diego Latorre, via ShockTillYouDrop]



Did they get drunk and accidentally offer the part to Bradley Cooper instead of Alice Cooper?
I’m guessing that the concept art had a lot to do with B. Coop dropping out.
Vince, I can’t believe you didn’t photoshop 4 Non Blondes Girl into this pic. You’re losing your fastball, my friend.
They kill his wife & family… gotcha.. he rises from the dead… following you so far… he starts dressing like if Danzig were in “Four Non Blondes”? Damnit, you lost me again
Nothing says “vengeful spirit” like French braids.
Are you kidding me? I’m terrified of The Connecticut-Crow! All those Ghost-Nuggies and getting ghost-thrown in a dumpster, the endless, punishing ghost-towel-snaps the baddies would have to endure. Plus he’d be all limbered-up from Ghost-massages and taking a Ghost-steam in the Ghost-sauna! He’d be all fresh and ready to go! And he’d constantly get bailed out by his Ghost-daddy every time he was in over his top-hat and monocle. Poor people ghosts don’t scare me at all. The Connecticut-Crow? I’d shit my Sean-John leather pants!
The art at the bottom makes him look like a reject “Final Fantasy” villain. And it’s still not nearly as ridiculous as that hat.
So the idea for that first piece of concept art was, “What if Slash from Guns N Roses got rained on?”
Wait, that bottom picture isn’t Rooney Mara? Mission acccomplished: I have now been shocked to the point of dropping
Vis a vis that bottom picture, I’m not sure when the white-trash co-opted goth, but I think it was 1999, so can we just skip ahead to the Juggalcrow?
Brad Cooper? We’re really doing this? Brad?
What this concept art presupposes is What if Bradley Cooper’s agent booked him for a New Queer’s Eve party at The Gothic Asshole?
BLAM.BLAM. CAW. FUCK I’M HANDSOME.
Honestly, it would’ve been kind of funny to see a goth icon played by the stereotype Preppy Handsome McWaspy that goths tend to hate.
I thought this was going to be about Crow Robot. BOOOOO
Does anyone know if Gizmonic Inst. is hiring?
Gritty and Edgy = Smoky eye shadow.
Are you sure this is from the movie, or is this picture leaked from Hot Topic’s Fall line?
*adjusts Top Hat and goggles, rides off on Penny-farthing to Box Social*
So… Rob Zombie was going to star?
Looks like Slash had sex with the Backstreet Boys while Brad Cooper beat of in the corner and Brandon Lee beat off from the great beyond.
I can’t believe I fucked up the pretty much only famous line from this movie…I AM ASHAME.
, It really has been a long time since this movie came out huh?
Attention everyone, Chauncey and Pricilla are ready to start the clam bake – FIRE IT UP!! FIRE IT UP!!!
Criss Angel and The Undertaker had a kid?
awww come on gag seriousely who they idiot that came up with that idea they original with brandon lee they original movie crow and the way the chracter look was incrdible it allways was and allways well be classic that look is completly rediclouse and soooooo out of proper character look give it man leave the effin movie alone and leave the character the way it is and met to be