"Read between the lines, bro."
I didn’t read the books, so I don’t know that much about The Hunger Games, directed by Pleasantville/Seabiscuit‘s Gary Ross, other than that Lionsgate wants it to become the next Twilight. Judging by the just-released trailer, it seems to be severely lacking in vampires, abstinence, heartburn faces, or even the most vaguely ethnic temptation wolves. But it does have some neato made-up names you could imagine on a Duggar or Palin, like “Prim,” and “Katniss.” Still, it’s no “Renesmee.” That’s like a combination of “Renee” and “Esmee!”
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the evil Capitol of the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. A twisted punishment for a past uprising and an ongoing government intimidation tactic, The Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which “Tributes” must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). If she’s ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
Jennifer Lawrence is the best young actress around, but I’m not sure I can take a whole movie of Josh Hutcherson doing that weird thing with his mouth. Tragically, he seems to have contracted an Eli Manning-esque case of “HURRR Face.” But as put off as I am by Josh Hutcherson and his weird mouth, nothing could dampen my excitement for….
FUTURE BEARD!
IT'S THE BEARD OF THE FUTURE!
Game over, man. I hope when Lenny Kravitz was waxing J Law’s legs he did something this nifty with her chatch. DUNT DUNT DUNNNNNN…. FUTURE SNATCH! (*cut to arrow hitting target*)
[opens March 23rd, HD available at Apple]
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Haymitch Abernathy? Is he friends with Haywood Jablome?
Willi Chevalier is gonna be pissed nobody asked him to consult on this film.
This looks worse than my toilet after Taco Tuesday.
This isnt another YA abstinence parable is it? The arrow stands for a penis and your mother is a whore?
Hey, Battle Royale called, it wants its plot back.
Excuse me while I jump and down and squeal like a preteen at a Beiber concert.
These books are good, y’all. I swear.
I can’t wait for UNC to lose.
books were da bomb, going to be hard to pull off sci-fi Capitol without being campy
Sounds like “The Running Man” minus the awesome end credits song:
[youtu.be]
Anyone know what these are going to be rated? Nudity and ultraviolence ensue…
Despite all the charm school bollocks and Tim Burton-esque ladies pulling names out of a jar, this WILL have children killing other children, right?
LET THE PREPUBESCENT BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
Sounds like “Battle Royale” but without the chick who played GoGo in Kill Bill.
Yeah the whole “these people have to fight in the wild and one survives thing” is a pretty played out concept.
“Future Beard” does a very good, but not quite perfect job of distracting you from how bad “Future Toupée” looks.
I’d much rather watch The Running Man or Battle Royale. The lack of pun filled death scenes alone is a disappointment.
The first review is in:
“You’ll love it, YES!!!” -Richard Dawson
I know that I can’t wait for a future in which young people are forced to kill each other for my enjoyment. Though choosing 24 seems almost too limiting. I would start with the any kid who has appeared on an MTV reality show and expand from there.
Dammit, Burnsy.
Oh thank god Patty posted so I don’t feel like the only fangirl here. ITA with her: these books were legit good.
If that was Lindsay Lohan, she would have to hold up many more fingers…
Ancient Rome called, and they want their 2,500 year old idea back.
Sounds like “Battle Royale” but without the chick who played GoGo in Kill Bill.
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.
Come collect your prize — a pot lid and a thirty-second head start.
A girl with long dark hair and is proficient with a bow? Does she have an adorable talking mouse sidekick and believe in Aslan, too?
Hunger Games Ch. 1: Imagine Susan Pevensie Is On TV In A Forshakky Dystopian Future!
I sure hope they touch on new and interesting subjects like how the government is corrupt and how the young have to die for the old and rich. Since, you know that has never been pointed out before… ever.
For real, just watch Equilibrium whilst fantasy jerking to The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, same fucking thing.
We’ve secretly replaced Richard Bachman with Stephenie Meyer. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Answer: “A dystopian future run by a totalitarian regime where people fight to the death for the amusement of the citizenry.” Question: “What your unemployed friend says would make a great fucking movie, seriously dude. You can have it but I want half.”
You mean this weird mouth thing?
[3.bp.blogspot.com]
Vinnie Jones will not be ignored, ya cunts.
I read these books and I enjoyed them a lot. Lenny Kravitz as Cinna, though? Bleh. I imagined someone more like Alan Cumming.
*muffled giggles*
She slayed the broccoli 3 TIMES
meh. looks… kinda cheesy actually. everything is too clean and nice. especially in the district 12 scenes. those people are supposed to be filthy and poor. instead they look mormon.