I’m pretty proud to have Arnold Schwarzenegger’s signature on my college diploma, but if only I’d gone to junior high in Serbia, I could’ve had Nic Cage’s face on my biology book. Yep, that’s Nic Cage and Holly Hunter from Raising Arizona, appearing here on the cover of a 1998 eighth-grade biology textbook from Serbia. Ironic that they chose a fertile, rose background, when we all know Edwina’s insides were a rocky place where HI’s seed could find no purchase.
Following its recent emergence, the book’s graphic designer told website belgraded.com that the cover was an ‘honest mistake’.
She said that the publication was pulled from print, however several copies were still distributed. [DailyMail]
I’m guessing they just wanted a picture of a happy family, and a 1987 Nic Cage, with his shaggy hair and porn ‘stache and 80s clothes, fit the “average Serbian man in 1998″ bill all too well. They probably didn’t realize he wasn’t a father at all, but an ex-con who stole the baby from a furniture magnate. That was probably the opposite of the intended purpose. But Nic Cage still could’ve taught them a thing or two about biology, especially if it involved snake venom or dinosaur skulls, which I assume is like sixty percent of Serbian biology, at least.
-thanks to the Reverend Skeleton for the tip.
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In a related story, Edward Cullen is on the cover of the Serbian edition of “Dracula.”
The subtitle translates roughly as WHY DOES IT LEARN?!
Sample exercise questions:
In an unrelated incident, Kellan Lutz is on the cover of the Serbian edition of ‘Roots’.
A Serbian biology text from the ’90s?
Did they use a photo of Tex Cobb in the chapter on ethnic cleansing?
This is just one in a series of Serbian textbooks. They’ve got him as Ghost Rider for the Chemistry textbook, and in his bear suit (mid lady-punch) for the Street Law brochure
I just hope that one of the students was smart enough to, when presented with a “B” in Biology, yell, “NOT THE BEES! AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!”
This was the replacement after the original cover with Kid ‘n Play was withdrawn over fears of a backlash against implied homoerotic miscegenation.
‘The moustache is good, but is there some way we could make it even more rapey?’ – A. Jolie, arthouse director
“Face/Off” is required viewing for all Serbian medical students who are going into the field of plastic surgery.
Ah, so that’s why 90s Serbs were so interested in various biological processes, viz. the biotic decomposition of organic remains of infidels.
If anyone could sell me on the idea of wholesale genocide, it would be moustachioed Nic Cage.
There is a great Nic Cage geography text that roughly translates as “Ever been to Biloxi?”
Serbian sex education is just Cameron Poe with an erection.
I kind of want to grow up to be Nicolas Cage only with more castles.
The chapter on Darwinism proved to be highly controversial and was replaced by a treatise on Croationism.
I’m not surprised by this cover. I’m pretty sure Nic has been on textbook covers a Coppola times.
Serbian can be written in two languages: Cyrillic and Serb Latin. This means Serbians can insult you twice as much on your gravestone.
Quick! Put it in H!
The real question is if they used the black convict on the chapter about menstrual cramps.
I bet every other page has FART written on it, the other pages? Yoda’s and shit.
In Serbia, 8mm is chapter one shit in film school. Not so much because its a good movie but what to expect when distributing their very own snuff films.
Some of you have funny comments. Some of you just sound like really typical cushy Americans, who are overly snug with your superiority complexes. Since this article is about making fun of educational tools, I’d like to ask you superior types this – HOW MANY OF YOU COULD LOCATE SERBIA ON A MAP (without cheating)? Don’t judge a book by its cover. The article is funny. But not as funny as the articles that were written when Arnold Schwarzenegger and George Bush were elected by you educated, superior Americans. What? Locate Serbia. Shut up.
You’re not even a real country.