Staring back at me from the back cover of a magazine recently was this add for Billabong’s “Mass Hysteria Boardshort,” (cats and dogs! surfing together!) designed by Green Day. Awesome, guys, I’m so glad I stuck by you all those years. Deep down I always knew you had integrity. These apparently came out last year, I’m kind of glad I didn’t know about them until now. Also, judging by the picture, they don’t exactly seem like the type of guys who wear boardshorts. They should at least have a faux stud belt design, like BJ Penn’s black belt shorts.
MORNING LINKS
The Kris+Kim Vigil: The Greatest Vigil Ever Held |With Leather|
4 Science Fiction Series Netflix Should Bring Back |Gamma Squad|
Rob Delaney is suing Kim Kardashian, and he’s not joking. I support this 100%. Remember Quiz Show? Isn’t there supposed to be a law against filming fake sh*t and calling it “reality?”
Seven characters more engineered than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. |ScreenJunkies|
Our Favorite TV-Related Halloween Costumes from Walking Around NYC |Warming Glow|
Someone shouted “Where’s Bumblebee now?” while Shia Labeouf was getting beat up |Film Drunk|
Shaq Talks About The Moment The Lakers Dynasty Died |Smoking Section|
Bill Murray Fan Art: A Sneak Preview Of Gallery1988′s ‘Please Post Bills’ Exhibit |UPROXX|
The Last Words of 25 Geniuses |Buzzfeed|
Adult Swim Interview with Primus’ Les Claypool |Adult Swim|
Another reason to hate Kris Jenner: She killed Nicole Brown Simpson. |TheSuperficial|
Shia LaBeouf made a music video or something. |Videogum|
Six saints with intense stories. |MentalFloss|
Who should be the next president to get his face chiseled onto Mount Rushmore? Pff, my face is already chiseled. |HolyTaco|
World’s Least Talented Fake News Anchor Attempts to Break Will Ferrell’s Glass Case of Emotion |Pajiba|
Seven movies recast with cats. |NextMovie|
Bad Teaching Advice of the Day |The Daily What|
Six Influential Dead Guys I’d Like to Have Dinner With |Unreality|
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Still not as bad as Weezer for Hurley.
Still not as bad as the American Idiot musical.
Bite my lip and close my eyes, something something, they’re so damn board I’m going blind.
Oh, maybe they can come out with a line of skinny red ties and guyliner next.
They’re something unpredictable, that in the end fit right – we hope you have The Ride Of Your Life™!
Guy’cha! We get to bust out Les Claypool jokes, inky!!!
More like boredshorts
Green Day ceased to be after 2004. /sorrowfully touches black arm band
Watch what you’re saying Vince, in a few years you may no longer be able to resist the allure of a jewel-encrusted jackoff couch
Les Claypool – “I had a Red Ryder BB Gun.”
Mall Santa Claus – “You shot your teeth out, kid!”
Kevin Smith just had an idea to market “Broadjorts”!
Brett Ratner wants to live in a Breadfort!
Jesse Ventura’s favourite MST3Ks are the ones that include “Waterboarding Shorts”!
Doooo you have the time to see our clothing line?
“Where’s Bumblebee now?” will be written on my tombstone when I die from irony induced brain diarrhea. Or HIV. Whatever comes first.
I heard $5 from every pair of shorts sold goes towards saving the Rec Center. Green Day had their rec center close when they were kids and they became so bored that even masturbation lost its fun and they are hoping to spare other youths from a similar fate.
Let Ted Leo express my thoughts on Green Day: [youtu.be]