Pixar’s latest looks… kind of meh?
11.16.11The contrarians out there (*cough* Armond White! *cough, cough*) like to bash the Pixar apologists for drinking the Kool Aid every time Pixar puts out a new movie, but dammit, Pixar deserves it. Seriously, if you don’t like Up or Wall E or Finding Nemo or Toy Story 3, I honestly don’t know what the hell is wrong with you. Pixar is my Spielberg, okay? (Except for Cars). Which is why it’s strange that their latest, Brave (from directors Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman), looks so… underwhelming. People are making a big deal about it being Pixar’s first movie with a female lead, but I’m hoping it does something to distinguish itself from Hanna, Colombiana, Haywire, Salt, etc. or all the other “girl badass” films soon. Because female leads are awesome, but not if you’re just going to write a male lead and then pull some Ms. Pacman shit where you throw a bow on him and act like it’s a new game. I’m not stupid, man, I can tell the difference between a girl and a dude with a bow in his hair (I live in San Francisco, it’s a useful skill here).
Or maybe I’m just subliminally biased hearing that little girl talk in Margaret Schroeder‘s voice, because I’m so sick of all her fickle bullshit this season. She’s sweet one minute and a bitch the next. PICK A DAMNED PERSONALITY, WOMAN!
Sidenote: Remember her in Trainspotting? God she was hot.


*takes bow out of hair, kicks ground, mutters ‘nothin’*
WE CAN SAY “SHIT” IN OUR POSTS NOW?! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
[ends every sentence with "and shit" like a Dollar Tree Kevin Smith]
[gets fired]
The Bourne Femininity was my favorite Bourne. Why must you refer to it as Salt?
While I agree that the lady badass who’s basically a dude in a dress is old hat and incredibly lazy, I have faith that Pixar can pull this off.
If they can make me cry over toys and fish, then they can write a believable female protagonist.
Has anyone else noticed that since Shrek, seemingly every kids movie and TV show has a Scottish character? It’s like there’s a new law that none of us knew about. Okay, bad timing with Brave, because they’re actually Scottish, but how about How To Train Your Dragon? In an otherwise (surprisingly) really good movie, the one thing that bothered me was that a lot of the Vikings (Vikings! You know, from Scandinavia!) were Scottish. What’s up with that?
Is it a coincidence they they opted for a female protagonist who just so happens to be amongst men that wear skirts?
The elephant in the rrrrrhhhoom does not wear pants my friend.
Typical female protagonist back story. But the bear cubs totally won me over. I’ll probably bring my nieces to see this and then buy them bows and arrows for Xmas.
Coming next fall: Pixar´s How to train your Bear.
I´m on the bear train, and I can´t ne-bear get enough
That was not exactly the scene from train spotting that I remember her from…strange.
Damn you space bar! Damn you straight to heck!
Coming next fall: Pixar´s How to train your Bear.
Starring Rocco Reed?
Ooooooooooooooh, fuck. I am going to have to take my wife to this, I can see it now.
-Pseudo-celtic? Check.
-Horses? Check.
-Strong woman freedom bs? Check.
-Hero uses a bow? Check.
About the only thing they could do to make my wife love it more is drizzle it with melted chocolate and have it served to her by Triple H (also drizzled in melted chocolate).
pull some Ms. Pacman shit where you throw a bow on him
not only does she has a bow, she has arrows too.
bazinga!
@stinky that would be How to train your bare ass
We Welsh are sorely unrepresented in the animation world. I demand Pixar get to work on a new film showcasing my people!
Preferably with few sheep as possible.
The stock trope is that the female is expected to act ladylike and she really just wants the freedom to go out and ride her horse and shoot arrows. Done well, it’s about independence and freedom and expressing your inner self. Done poorly it’s “Boys get to have all the fun.”
I’m hoping Pixar pulls it off.
I think Aardman has cornered the Welsh market, odGri. Baaaaaaaah.
Wait, so they are making a miss pacman movie? because that sounds awesome. Will it feature Perry Gripp’s Miss Pacman song over the end credits?
Ginger Pixar people are the stuff nightmares are made of.
It doesn’t look that un-bear-able.
Make Cars once, shame on you. Make Cars twice, and then fire all the good storywriters and make trailers that look on par with George Lopez in Boots.
Say what you will about it, but I welcome any computer animation kids movie that doesn’t have the main character raising one eyebrow with a shit eating grin in it.
What’s this? We’re doing bear jokes now?
The Incredibles was Pixar’s best. Why they haven’t made a sequel, I have no idea.
Wall E reminded me of my iPod’s tragic love for my Roomba.
So, Twilight fans? Want to prove that your entertainment doesn’t have to have romance? Want to rebel against your mean ol’ parents or the suburban housewifery you live in? Are red hair and Scottish accents so exotic and wild to your WASP sensibilities?
THEN DO WE HAVE A MOVIE FOR YOU!
PS: Feklhr, you can make a lot of money with Triple H chocolate pops. Mmmm.
Billy Connolly doing his best Tim the Enchanter in that opening monologue. Manky Scots git.
This looks Celtic-Rangers ugly.
“The Incredibles was Pixar’s best. Why they haven’t made a sequel, I have no idea.”
Amen Larry, amen. I was so infuriated when I heard they were making Cars 2 and not Incredibles 2.
I think this is an example of just a hastily assembled trailer. It doesn’t come out until next summer, so I think they just stuck a bunch of the footage together that’s been fully rendered. And they made a Cars sequel because that sh*t is a merchandising goldmine. I would know; my wife has a Lightning McQueen ™ vibrator. (“Guaranteed to make you Ka-Chow!”)
“Remember her in Trainspotting?”
Great. That’s totally going to ruin Boardwalk Empire for me when I’m trying to masturbate to Steve Buscemi.
Five out of seven of the top billed actors are actually from Scotland.
Suck it, Akira!
Seriously, in my vaunted opinion that holds sway in this mini universe, Wall-E sucked. I hated it, I hated its message and I hated the soundtrack. I spank my kids when they ask to see it. Hard. And then I pop in Up and cry after the opening montage. Now that’s a movie! NO ONE DENIES THIS!