Frank Miller (above left, with Robert Rodriguez) is a graphic artist whose 300 and Sin City inspired the tone of at least three years worth of movie projects before he flamed out into one-dimensional self-parody (to say nothing of The Spirit, which is probably the best thing you could say about The Spirit). But while most people know him for his easily-imitated high-contrast grittitude, what most people don’t know is that he’s also a curmudgeonly asshole of the highest order. Here’s the screed against the Occupy Wall Street movement he recently posted on his official website, a piece of such pure, embittered crankitude that it makes post-9/11 Dennis Miller seem like a Gender Studies professor.

Everybody’s been too damn polite about this nonsense:
The “Occupy” movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.
“Occupy” is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the “movement” – HAH! Some “movement”, except if the word “bowel” is attached – is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

“Populist movement, more like BOWEL movement, am I right?” -Frank Miller’s epitaph.

Oh don’t worry, it gets worse:

This is no popular uprising. This is garbage. And goodness knows they’re spewing their garbage – both politically and physically – every which way they can find.
Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.
Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you’ve been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you’ve heard terms like al-Qaeda and Islamicism.

“Or maybe you’re familiar with a few other words, like ‘Muslametry,’ or ‘Jihadlitudinous.’ Wake up, sheeple. When are you going to learn that reality is just like an overwrought narrative from one of my shitty comics?”

And this enemy of mine — not of yours, apparently – must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh – out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.
In the name of decency, go home to your parents, you losers. Go back to your mommas’ basements and play with your Lords Of Warcraft.
Or better yet, enlist for the real thing. Maybe our military could whip some of you into shape.
They might not let you babies keep your iPhones, though. Try to soldier on.
Schmucks.

I really wish the Occupy Movement hadn’t chosen to brand itself as a movement about income inequality (which instantly redraws the lines of the same old stupid obsolete culture wars of the 60s, uhhhhgain), when it should’ve been about a much-less partisan push against corruption, but I’m pretty sure it never had anything to do with Muslim terrorists. Unless you’re some kind of delusional Walter from the Big Lebowski. But I do enjoy the irony of hearing a guy who spent his entire life drawing superhero comic books telling people to stop living in a fantasy world and go join the military. How much of a totally un-self-aware dickhead would you have to be to be able to write something like that in earnest? It takes a special kind of asshole to tell people to join the military when he’s never served himself.

PS, nice fedora, asshole.

[Related: Here's a really good piece about the Occupy generation, and another interesting one from Rollingstone]