Happy Turkey Hangover Day, Drunkards. Jesus, did anyone else drink way too much over the holidays or just me? Thank God there won’t be another holiday for, like, a really, really long time. Anyway, it was a short week, but we’ve still got comments of the week. I don’t think it’s necessary to single one person out this week, because I thought there were two threads that deserved group recognition. The first was the Kellen Lutz Plays Injun Lacrosse thread, which may be one of my all-time favorite ever on this site.

Big Dawg says: “Lacrosse means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Ace Rimmer said: Kellan Lutz is the pox blanket of a new generation.

Nowacki: Lacrosse: The game where everyone’s a catcher.

La Schmoove: If Token Black Guy is reading this, remind me to bring up our plan to dominate Lacrosse at the next meeting.

Dingus: The White Man gave the Red Man alcohol, turning them into miserable drunks. The Red Man gave the White Man Lacrosse, turning them into insufferable douchebags.
Who had the last laugh?

Shop 101: Now, now, the Red Man taught the Puritan the joy of shirtlessness. Embrace the magic of Thanksgiving, you cruel bastards.

Jessolido: He may have been a twink with a glove on a stick, running through a field, trying to catch a ball… but what he really caught… WAS MAH HART

jabask: This hit every beat of the classic ‘hey rich white people have it just as tough as minorities’ story so perfectly I was genuinely surprised when it got to the end of the trailer and the movie wasn’t called ‘Trail of Tears’.

Ace Rimmer: In the first draft of that locker room scene, every line began with ‘No homo, but…’

Alcoholics Gratuitous: High School Sports Movie: Lacrosse Edition. Mid-twenties actors playing 17 year olds, sports, starting player conflict, love story with cheerleader, parental issues, rebellious behavior, eventual acceptance. I’ve seen this movie, but am willing to shell out $12 for the Native American twist.

Charlie Br0nze: Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Saracens sitting next to the Jones Street Boys. We’ve got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortlandt Rangers. Nobody is wasting nobody. Hold on. F*ck off a minute. Who invited the Lacrosse team? Waste those cornbread motherfuckers.

That reference? The Warriors.

Morton Salt: If you had asked me to imagine a movie starring people named ‘Kellan’ and ‘Chord’ I would have assumed we were talking about a Good Burger reboot. F*ck you, the truth.

Larry: If they really wanted to give the character a yuppie name, they should have gone with Kellan.
/”Let’s name our daughter after a borough where she’d never deign to live.”

La Schmoove: Vince, once you saw that Ashley Greene was barely in this trailer, I certainly hope you shouted “WHERE BROOKLYN AT! WHERE BROOKLYN AT! WHERE BROOKLYN AT! WHERE BROOKLYN AT!!

An earnest round of applause for that thread. It was so good it even got a call back in the Drunk Twi-hard Tries to Drive to Breaking Dawn on Three Tires thread:

Garipeto
BF: Sure, honey, we’ll go see Twilight when I get back from lacrosse practice. I need to win the right-side attack spot…

Olivia Ornelas: OMG YESSSS ILUVU LLOLOL!!!!

BF: Well, I hate to be like, an Indian giver and all… but I actually have to do some shirtless barn construction stuff tonight, so…

Olivia Ornelas: “YARGLEBARGAHH!!!!!!!!1″

Nicely done, there.

My other favorite thread from this week was of course the Arnold Schwarzenegger Literal DVD Commentary thread.

elle07 says: Poor Maria, I bet his play by play was super annoying in the sack.
“now I am looking at mahsalf in da mirroir but you think I arm looking at you, I am humping now”

Good Grief: 
His commentary for “The 6th Day” must be agonizing: “This is the me who isn’t the real me talking to the real me about how many me’s have been made without the me who isn’t the me who isn’t me knowing about it. And there’s Michael Rapaport.”

jabask: 
“In dis scene I am confused as to how, given da amount of gin joints in the world, a woman with which I have had a complicated relationship with has decided to patronise mine. The probability of this happening is not likely.”

Stinky Pete
: This is me typing, I am making a funny comment this video, then I will hit “enter” and reload the COTW page for the next three hours hoping someone nominates it. [Success! -Ed.]

Jessolido: 
The original idea was to have this as a descriptive video track for the visually impaired (or to use Arnold’s original, less PC terminology “Ahnold tells moofies to da blind kids”), but that idea had to be scrapped due to Arnold’s constant use of the phrase “Now look at dis heah.”

I would help finance “Arnold Tells Moofies to Da Blind Kids” in a heartbeat.

In any case, fine commenting, everyone. Damned fine commenting. Heterosexual ass pats all around (and good-natured gropes for the girls). For next week, as always, nominate your favorite comments throughout the week by pasting them in the comments section of this post below (it helps me keep track).