
Assassin Dog must avenge this terrible news.
With three games selling more than 30 million copies worldwide, it’s hard to be shocked that movie studios were banging down Ubisoft’s door to bring “Assassin’s Creed” to the big screen. However, since a lot of video game companies are tired of seeing their efforts destroyed by studios, the negotiating process has become significantly more difficult, which is why we haven’t seen “Grand Theft Auto” and “Halo” in theaters yet. And would it kill someone to make a “Rygar” movie already? It’s been like 20 years.
So for Sony to secure the rights to make an “Assassin’s Creed” movie, Ubisoft had to be promised an unprecedented amount of control. And now rival studios and blabbering insiders are all like, “WTF Sony?”
Notes one incredulous insider, “As a director, even Steven Spielberg cannot get this kind of deal.” And yet it’s this very overarching power that may doom the project, as it has other gigantic video game movies. Notes one Hollywood talent agent who represents a smaller video game publisher, “The whole Ubisoft/Sony deal is a waste of ink, paper and time. The level of control Sony gave up means, effectively, that Assassin’s Creed will never — and I mean never — get made.”
(Via Vulture)
And he pounded on the table and laughed maniacally before lighting another Virginia Slim and pinching his assistant’s ass.
Another source also points out that Ubisoft only got all of this ridiculous control over the project because it is fronting the majority of the cash. Sony basically only bought in for the chance to be a part of it. It’s like when you share a room on Spring Break with a guy who scores a lot. Sure, you’re not the one having sex, but at least everyone saw her come out of your room.



An hour and a half of a dude pushing his way through crowds so he can jump off of a tower into a hay cart? DO NOT FUCK THIS UP SONY!
It’s kind of sad that the video game developer, not the movie studio, presumably has a better grasp of storytelling.
ttyBoo, most game story developers have a vastly superior skill set across the board compared to Hollytard writers.
Notes one incredulous insider, “I mean, it’s almost as if Ubisoft doesn’t want Sony to clumsily gang-rape the last ounce of original creative energy from the lifeless corpse of their hugely successful franchise!”
I’m an incredulous outsider. I mean I’m locked out. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GUYS LOCKED ME OUT!!
Anyhoo, when’s the WoW movie come out?!? I need someone who can appreciate my mage robes while I dance the macarena with a pumpkin helm etc. etc..
Good. Maybe it’ll either get made right, or not at all. This is as it should be.
They would have to dumb this story down and then water it down, and then reverse the protag. You think a French guy basically going back in time to relive the life of a Muslim assassin stopping the Crusaders and Templars from killing everything that didn’t have a cross on it would ever fly in the US?
Unfortunately, Brett Ratner has been tapped to direct. When asked about his vision for the film, he said, “It’s going to be pretty rad. We’ll be getting rid of those f*ggoty robes though.”
Point taken, Crappy. I was just always a fan of fighting games, and those are like 2% plot and 98% kicking your opponent in the face. So my view is a little biased.
Bob Hoskins is smoking a cigar, reading this in print somewhere. Once finished, he’ll throw the paper down, look up at the sky and yell “THIS WAS AN OPTION??? FUCK YOU, MIYAMOTO!!!!!!”
Hey fighting games make awesome movies. Consider Mortal Kombat! Those were… movies, right? Not that I’d ever watch that shit but they were movies, yes?
Jesus Burnsy….. A Rygar reference? Be still my aging NES heart.
@Paultera–he is, after all, a storyteller. Him and the guy who came up with Pac Man.
If this project does not get greenlit, it’s probably for the best. As Jean Luc Godard noted in Cahiers du Cinema, you do *not* put the word “ass” in your title twice.
This is Not Assassin’s Skeet
Clash at Demonhead or GTFO!
I’ll wait for Assassin Dog’s movie.
Larry, oddly enough that rules stands in porn titles as well. “Albequerque’s Assiest Asses” was a real letdown.
I’m just saying, you’d think that live action Street Fighter would be enough to turn Hollywood off to fighting game-based movies forever.
That movie killed Raul Julia, for god’s sake.
And would it kill someone to make a “Rygar” movie already? It’s been like 20 years
I’ve been waiting 25 for “Rush’n Attack”, for fuck’s sake… Hollywood really dropped the ball on that one.
I’m waiting 30+ for the Castle Wolfenstein movie, close to 40 for Pong, so quit your bitchin.
@ulte–yeah but AAA featured able supporting work by Walter Whitestains.
As long as the movie includes scenes where I can vividly watch my great great grandfather and grandmother to the 50th power bone in a haystack, then everything will be A OK.