It's a slow news day, so I thought that under the circumstances, this alternate poster for The Expendables 2 that "johnymyko" left in the comments section of my This Week in Posters post warranted recognition. Great job, dude. (It's also kind of interesting to note that some nameless Asian chick made the poster while Liam Hemsworth and Randy Couture did not -- as first noted by our friends at Fightlinker).
Oh, and he inspired me to make a few alternate posters of my own. (Yes, they all involve pepper spray).
I call this one "get off my plane."
Real-life Chuck Norris is kind of an asshole, but fictional Chuck Norris is awesome, so here's your Chuck Norris Fact for the day: Did you know GPS systems are required to shut down if they're traveling at more than 1,200 miles per hour so that they can't be used for missile guidance? It's the reason Chuck Norris can't get directions while he's punching stuff.
I'll be honest, the Van Damme ones didn't turn out nearly as good as I would've liked, given the raw materials. On the plus side, I made you this gif:
I'm not the greatest gif maker, so if anyone can do this better, please, by all means.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/star-trek-into-darkness-alice-eve-chris-pine-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/this-week-in-posters-the-rock-is-jacked-in-pain-and-gain-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Spring-Breakers-Everytime-Poster-150x150.jpg)
That last one is great. Still a big fan of the Van Damme / Bolo Hardcore group.
Man, if someone doesn’t pepper spray a turkey tomorrow, the internet will be pretty disappoint.
Didn’t know Dane Cook started out as a personal trainer. Explains all the yelling.
Chuck Norris gives free mustache rides but nobody has every been able to stay on for 8 seconds.
Van Damme is the Cirque du Soleil of teabagging.
You now have a banner ad for green cards. So I guess, bienvenidos, pelicula borrachos.
Randy Couture has nobody to blame but himself. When they were mocking up the poster, he aggressively hugged the graphic designer against the wall for 15 minutes.
So that’s Chuck? I thought it was Boyd Coddington’s emaciated corpse. Those early set pictures had me befuddled.
lawl…i made one too before I saw this. I included randy couture > [i268.photobucket.com]
great shits making dude made me lololol
That last one is why the internet was invented.