
The first trailer for The Avengers is here and you know it’s a big deal because iTunes finally offered an embeddable video player (seriously, we’ve been waiting for this for like four years). Marvel’s great experiment in turning over their biggest project to Joss Whedon, a guy known mainly for cult shows that get cancelled before the mainstream ever sees them, stars Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, and Mark “Ruffalo Bill” Ruffalo. I’ve never actually seen a Joss Whedon show, so this is particularly exciting for me.
First impressions: It looks like Loki from Thor is the villain, which is… odd. And the lighting looks really bright and even in every scene, like they’re shooting a superhero sitcom.
I’m also still having trouble buying the premise. “We shall assemble a team of the world’s greatest superheroes! A man in an invincible iron suit who can fly, a juiced-out super soldier, a giant viking with supernatural powers, and a radioactive hulk man!”
“But wait! What if they get into trouble? They’ll need a guy with a fancy bow and arrow and girl who always jumps off of stuff and lands like this:”

It’s just a little hard to swallow. Being the world’s premiere archer seems a little like being the number one ace dirigible pilot. The idea that he might someday be able to help the rest of the crew seems… oddly specific. “The aliens are attacking! Quick, find someone who can juggle!”

[iTunes]



Ha, Scarlett farted and the bus blew up.
/puts on nerd hat
I was actually hoping this would be the Avengers going up against Hulk when he loses his shit on an epic proportions. I never bought Loki as an actual threat in Thor.
/takes off nerd hat
Oh shit, Uproxx isn’t my nerd comic book forum…ummm…penis/fart joke.
To be fair, Black Widow is basically a female Captain America, superpowers-wise. Also to be fair, titties.
I have no defense of Hawkeye though, other than being an Avenger in the comics. He’s just an athletic guy with good aim.
Yeah shouldn’t Thor be able to like hit something with a hammer really hard and stop Loki? He seemed like a schemer not a fighter why would you need all the other dudes?
You guys are such nerds. EVERYBODY knows that Loki was the villain that originally – thru circumstance and machination- brought the Avengers together. Avengers #1 Duhh.
common misperception, it’s not Renner’s archery skills that are so invaluable, it’s his gayface. Really comes in handy.
The real villain in this trailer? Quicktime.
Yeah, anybody got a link for a non-quicktime version? I googled quicktime alternative on my friend’s macbook and it tried to bite me.
I remain unconvinced that Scarlet Johansson is not just a cardboard cut-out. Same uninterested expression in everything I’ve ever seen her in. Like one day a casting agent saw a store display with a photo of a pretty but bored lady & thought “She could be an actress!” But tracking the model down was too hard, so he just brought the display to the set and put a costume on it. Prove me wrong. I dare you.
I have no problem if this turns out to be a life action remake of “The Justice Friends”
Now with the YouTube version. Everyone happy?
If Quicktime had a ‘fullscreen’ option it wouldn’t suck so hard.
Stark wears a Black Sabbath t-shirt? I guess Thor has the Kiss logo shaved on his chest then.
I’m confused… I thought NIN could only be used as the leitmotif for serial killing psycho’s and/or leather, knife-boner suit related stuff
Oh no Captain America did not get all up in Tony Stark’s face.
As a nerd, I’ve always felt like the entire Avengers team was pointless. The heroes never do anything together that they couldn’t do alone… there are never teams of bad guys but for some reason the heroes are too pussy to handle their shit? I don’t get it.
iphone dick picks or GTFO, Tony Stark
*submit*
wait, what?
Cab explosions must really piss off city trash employees. The gas leaks on those must be terrrible.
Loki should really find more interesting playmates.
“Fire the superheroes!”
“Which ones?”
“All of them!”
By Hemsworth’s Hammer, by the sons of Whedom…
Whedon wrote the forward to “The Ultimates” which is probably the only Avengers comic I really loved. This movie seems like it might follow that. Nick Fury was Sam Jackson in that comic and that is why they used him in the movies, so it would stand to reason that they might follow the comics.
And good lord, am I really explaining this like it’s something anyone cares about. Oooo look Scarlett Johansson’s ass in leather.
WTF? WHERE THE HELL IS COBIE SMULDERS??
I’m impressed. Jeremy Renner has used the 12in double ended black dildo from Requiem for a Dream to create a super accurate longbow.
No one invited Jeremy Renner to the Avengers. He just saw all those perfectly manicured goatees and assumed that he was in the right place.
Ugh. The trailer looked like fun, until that lame generic “intense angry rock” music came in at the end. I blame Linkin Park for proliferating that psudo-industrial garbage.
“It’s just a little hard to swallow”
Not for black widow, which is why she was hired.
He just saw all those perfectly manicured goatees and assumed that he was in the right place.
I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I was thinking it. In related news it’s great to see RDJ taking facial hair grooming lessons from Guy Fieri.
So is there a reason why they decided to give everyone lame Halloween store versions of their costumes from their original movies? I’m even guessing that Iron Man’s suit is made of fucking TIN! TIN I TELL YA!
*breathes in inhaler manically*
Rage monster. Oh, Robert Downey. You so crazy!
I heard this thing was written by manatees.
Steven Alexander, if that is your real name, you are ignoramus #1. That song is Nine Inch Nails’ ‘We’re in this together now”, from 1999, before Linkin Park had even assembled. So nyah nyah on your elitist attitude.
Yep. When they were handing out superheroes Jeremy Renner was out the back taking a shit.
I’m buying tickets, if only for the pulpy homoerotic tension. Yes. Pulpy.
Hey, a bow may be more cumbersome and difficult to use than some other weapons, while lacking their range, but it can’t be beat for a stealthy kill. What’s that you say? The others in his company include two guys who just wing blunt objects at their targets, a girl carrying unsilenced guns and even wrist rockets, a guy in a mechanical suit, and another who just screams with mutated rage as he smashes everything in sight? Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense at all, does it.
might as well throw in a swordsman while they’re at it. Inigo Montoya makes sense, at least he has someone to avenge
“The Avengers; brought to you by Mistress Olga’s Leather Emporium.”