This Iron Man porn parody is just lazy

Extreme Comixxx just sent over a couple trailers and a press release for their upcoming title, Iron Man XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody. And I have to say, compared to the Tom Byron/Lee Roy Meyers porn parodies, this just seems like an inferior product. I’m a connoisseur of such things, as you can tell from the way I masturbate with my pinky out.

Billionaire Tony Stark (Seth Gamble) invented the Iron Man suit for the good of humanity—the horny girls it attracts are a bonus. With his sexy assistant Pepper Potts (Heather Starlet) trying to ride him every chance she gets, Stark must stay focused to save the world. In “Iron Man XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody,” Stark proves he’s as super on the battlefield as he is in the bedroom.

Oh come on, not “Tony Stark Naked?” They really whiffed on a soft ball there. I would’ve also gone with “Pepper Twat.” Meanwhile, “Heather Starlet” is the laziest porn name ever. Jeez, why not “Johnny Stuntcock?” I would’ve gone with something classy, but evocative, like George O’Queefe, or Ellen Burstin’.

Along with bestseller “Captain America XXX,” Extreme Comixxx’s “Iron Man XXX” draws fans ever closer to the upcoming “Avengers XXX.”  The sleek trailers introduce the unparalleled cast of Seth Gamble as Tony Stark / Iron Man, Heather Starlet as Pepper Potts and Chanel Preston as The Black Widow.
“I’ve watched the trailers each over a dozen times, and I’m still speechless,” says Extreme Comixxx owner Jerry E.  “’Iron Man XXX’ is exactly what I envisioned when creating Extreme Comixxx.  It’s an explosive, thrilling spectacle with hot girls and hotter sex.  It’s quite simply a dream come true for me, and I know it will satisfy the appetite of comic fans everywhere.”

You know, if you just give these things a porn parody name (Iron Hard Man, Incredible Hulk Sex), you wouldn’t have to specify “an Extreme Comixxx parody” after every one. And talk about a boring press release. You just took a mainstream boring press release and added “with hot girls and sex” at the end of it. I think he’s speechless because he doesn’t have anything interesting to say. I’m telling you, the quality of our nation’s parody porn is really going to hell in a handbasket. I blame Obama. #occupyChatsworth

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