As we all know, “bought a zoo” is a derogatory euphemism used to describe your dad on the day of your parents’ wedding. What most people don’t know is that We Bought a Zoo is also a new movie starring Matt Damon and famous naked chick Scarlett Johansson, from Cameron Crowe, the acclaimed director of Elizabethtown.

“The sellers say, you don’t really need any special knowledge to run a zoo. What you need is a lot of heart.”

Whoa, was that an actual line of dialog, or did Dear Abby queef? Anyway, the film is based on a memoir by Ben Mee about how he used his life savings to buy a dilapidated zoo in the English countryside. The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it a little better, because otherwise it looks like a weird hybrid of Kevin James vehicle and white Tyler Perry. But it’s Cameron Crow, so who knows. One thing is for certain, it won’t be the worst thing he’s ever done. No, I’m not talking about Elizabethtown. I mean when he made Kate Hudson famous.

Look out! He senses you're a rival!

[HD via Apple]