I now present to you one of my favorite videos in a long while (or at least for as long as I can remember, which is about 30 minutes). It’s called “Tom Cruise Gets a Letter From His Australian Cousin,” and FilmDrunkard Jon sent it to the Frotcast today, saying, “Hopefully this will become the next ‘Hitler reacts to stuff’ video meme.”
I guess I could see that, but the original scene is from Cocktail, and what really makes the video is the letter, which had me laughing right from the salutation, “gday yer big poof!” (The cheerleader handwriting makes it that much better). And then right through the first line, “So how ya goin, ya kweah! Me, Pongo, Dilwash, and Japseye ah coming ta visit again!”
God, it’s perfect. When I lived in Australia, I played rugby with a guy everyone called “Bedpan.” One weekend his parents were in town to watch him play, and while we were warming up, someone yelled “Bedpan!” At that point, another guy piped up and said, “Oi, don’t be c*nts, don’t call him Bedpan in front of his mum.” So then everyone just called him “Pan,” because no one could remember his real name. True story.

[via AdamBuxton, HighDefinite]



Urge to kill…fading.
Nope, wait. Still there. TULK SMASH!
I am not a big poof. I am a bicorn.
Bah, you should see the letter the United Negro College Fund got from a Klingon!
It was racist!
It was a lost letter from L. Ron Hubbard reading simply:
Scientology = jk lolz!! B==D ~ ~ (.Y.) yur gay jaja!
It is “Japseye” not Japsaw.
[www.urbandictionary.com]
SWEET GOD ABOVE!
Japseye is my new favo(u)rite word, this week.
I got a letter from an Australian once. It was a Zed.
Wait, is Zed Z or Zero? Y’know, maybe he was actually English. Forget I even brought it up.
Australia is clearly the rest of the world’s drunken, crazy cousin.
True story: The Mighty Feklahr used a bedpan for the first time ever Monday!
Ers, did you kneel before Zed? Or was he dead?
I would kneel before Zod, but only the Terence Stamp version. Michael Shannon elicits no response from me, positive or negative. That’s weird, right?
Cruel Australians, making the dyslexic cry.
sidenote – In Bryan Brown’s original suicide letter, he compares himself to an empty bottle.
haha, those crazy Australians and their alcoholic suicides!
I think my Japseye just teared up
My little sister, who spent a semester in Australia, just linked me to this.
Not gonna’ lie, it’s pretty amazing.
Not quite a Downfall killer, but still hilarious.
Patty, I want the 10 seconds I made it through that back.
I’ve got $10 and some peanut butter cookies. Is that acceptable?
You fucked Patty?!
BROFIVE!
Good week’s end Drunkards, be Laborious.
George Lucas oughta digitally replace Jar Jar Binks with Trent from Punchy. I’m not gonna lie, it would be pretty amazing.
I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES!
You’re like the daughter I never had.
-Your Father
If I wasn’t insanely jealous of Vince before, I certainly am now.
*skulks off to thechive.com to find another net-crush*
I have learned something today; NEVER follow a link that Patty provides.
Tom Cruise would not be crying if he and John Travolta would stop arguing about who will be on bottom.
Where’s Ricky Gervais when u need him?
Adam Buxton (who did this) is part of a brilliant double act with Joe Cornish… who recently directed Attack the Block.
both are ace comedians./radio show hosts- check out their stuff on youtube!
As an Australian this pleases me.
That’s actually a famous Australian poem; ‘G’day Yer Big Poof’ by Dazza Johnson.