“Hey, kid, you like movie trailers? Good, ’cause, uh… I got a bunch of them.” -A drug dealer who’s bad at wordplay.
So a bunch of trailers hit recently, and if I gave them all their own post, they’d bury all my other content (NO ONE WANTS THIS!). So here they are in one place. We cover Premium Rush, the Joseph Gordon-Levitt bike messenger movie, The Thing remake, The Big Year with Steve Martin and Jack Black, and a kick-ass looking action movie called The Raid.
“I like to ride. Fixed gear. No brakes. Can’t stop. Don’t want to, either.”
Jeez, what are they trying to do, explain why everyone hates fixed-gear riders? “Yeah, so I just took all the necessary safety equipment off my ride so I can look cool when I crash into stuff and blame it on everyone else. My plan is to deflect cars with the force of my coolness. Neat, huh?”
Anyway, it looks like it’s trying to do for urban bicycling what The Fast and the Furious did for street racing. “I LIVE MY LIFE A QUARTER CAN OF PABST AT A TIME!” And by that I mean of course, OOOH WHA-AH AH AH BIKE PARKOUR!
"YOU GET OUT OF HERE YOU DANG KIDS!"
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No matter how they spin it, the bike riders in Premium Rush will be the villains to me.
The Thing remake has the guy who played Adibisi, and the film is a metaphor for what Adibisi did to Chuck Zito’s butthole in Oz.
Premium Rush is just a spoof, right? A movie about bike messengers can’t possibly take itself that seriously. Can it?
You think bike parkour is hipster? The Mighty Feklahr just used a bottle opener to get a twist off cap open! *hic!*
“The Thing” will be an instant classic among the elderly, parents of multiple small children, and anyone that suffers from frustrating short-term memory loss.
so you’re telling me premium rush is a prequel to crank where they steal a young chev chelio’s heart and he can only stay alive by bicycling and delivering mail? i’m totes in.
Screenwriter to producer friend: “Its The Transporter…” *takes a hit of the joint* “meets American Flyers!”
If Premium Rush was just renamed Paperboy and he fucked up all of those cheapskate grey houses and dickhole breakdancers I would have two tickets to paradise and I’d invite all of you.
JG-L is such a hipster it would probably be something French like ‘Banlieue 13 meets the scooter chase from Taxi‘.
Vince, could you update the CotW link in the sidebar? Thanks.
JG-L plays a daredevil bike messenger who has to stop something incredibly evil by pedaling through 91 minutes of adrenalin fueled delivery-madness. By the guy who wrote Spielberg’s Jurassic Park. Sounds like a fake grindhouse-trailer to me.
How the hell does Kevin Bacon not get a cameo in the JGL bike messenger flick? If I have to explain why he should be in it, well . . . f*ck you, young whippersnapper.
Between this and Spider-Man, is Aasif Mandvi being typecast as “NYC bike messenger boss”?
Stop messing with me Premium Rush trailer….WHERE THE F*CK IS CRU JONES?!?!
Saw the trailer for this right before Drive… stood up at the end of it and yelled “WHY DIDN’T SHE JUST SEND A FUCKING EMAIL?”
Is this the real life… or is this just fantasy?
Sorry, Vince.
“The Thing” is not a remake – it’s a prequel. The events that happened to the Norwegian arctic outpost. Yes, it’s being marketed as a remake, but it’s not. At worst, it could be called a ‘pre-make’.