This Week in This Week in Posters: The Rum Diary, the most prolific of all poster clichés, and of course, some cannon-fighting pirate ships carried by zeppelins. Something for everyone, really. Click to enlarge, and enjoy!
The Rum Diary is one of my favorite books, so obviously I'm a little sensitive about the possibility of the movie not being good, because that would make me cry. That said, is it just me, or does the poster seem a tad... zany? There isn't much going on and it just reads "JOHNNY DEPP ACTING WRY!" to me. Though to be fair, people do love Johnny Depp acting wry. Especially foreigners.
"Mamma mia! We gotta dis-a movie about da Poliziotto. But how we-a gwana letta da people a-know dat-a dees a-movie, she take-a place inna Ireland?"
"Eh, why you ask-a you mamma an estupid-a question? I slappa you face. It's-a Ireland. You putta da sheep, de a-shamrock, anna da beer. Whassa mattah for you, skifozo, you donna know-a nothing for-a da Ireland?"
"Eh, I'm-a sorry, Mamma. I donna know how I coulda been-a so seelly. Here, I putta da Irish flag onna da sheep with-a da shamrock, for to know-a the people dat she take-a place inna de Ireland."
"Dat's-a my boy, Guiseppe. Here, take-a some meat-a-ball for-a you brother. Manga, manga."
Crossed arms, crossed legs, center framing -- ALL ROADS LEAD TO LADY CROTCH! Well done, poster guy, you have my unvaginad attention. Wait, what were talking about again?
Also, can you believe "Juno Temple" is her real name? In fact, her full name is "Juno Violet Temple." That's not a person, it's a drink at a Diablo Cody theme bar.
If I weren't so painfully caucasian, I would gladly wear this on a t-shirt. Great poster.
The Sitter now joins a proud tradition of movie posters framed by chicks' legs shot from the rear, perhaps the most ubiquitous poster design cliché there is. Don't believe me? Check this out:
[source]
So this is about an inner tube accident, I take it?
Eh. Flowers are cool, I guess. As long as there aren't f*cking hydrangeas, because I will SERIOUSLY FREAK OUT.
So they went with the floating-head thing, but at least the names match the corresponding picture. Though it almost looks like a contest for "which lady got the least flattering picture?"
Emily Watson always creeps me out. She looks like a sad, British ostrich. Also, "fireflies in the garden" sounds like a Victorian euphemism for venereal disease. Jeez, this description is really all over the place isn't it. Hey look, a bird.
It's another pretty basic poster, but I promise you, this movie kicks ass.
So... he lied about having a baby? About not having a baby? According to indiewire....
Based on a short story by T.C. Boyle, “The Lie” centers on a young couple whose dreams of a wild life together are interrupted when a baby comes into the mix.
Oh right. Guy-looking-upset next to a baby, that's obviously code for unexpected-baby-turns-life-upside down. Jeez, that's basic poster shorthand, I really should've gotten that. Examples here, here.
Chicks in a bed captured on grainy surveillance footage? Why yes, this looks like an intriguing origin story.
(*covers security camera, lifts one leg, farts*)
What award did Nick Broomfield win, most horrible-sounding voice? He sounds like he's trying to force oatmeal through a sweatsock with a kazoo. But as long as I can find out more about this fascinating "Sarah Palin", I'm there. She's so underexposed, I feel like I've scarcely heard a thing about her.
Yo, it's ya boy, C-Tates, I'm a bigger star than Al Pacino now, ya heard? HOO HOO!
The bullet says "13" because the movie is called "13." Pretty focken clevvah, innit, Tommy.
It's about time we had a Three Musketeers poster that actually sold us the damn movie. ZEPPELINS! PIRATE SHIPS! SWORDS! GUNS! FIRE! EVERYTHING COVERED IN MOTHERF*CKIN' SPARKS! OOH WAH-AH AH-- hey, wait a minute, where are the sluts? This movie does have sluts in it, right? I don't remember who said it, but I was led to believe that there would be sluts.
We need to talk about Kevin. He keeps fogging up the shower and he never uses the squeegee and it makes me sad.
[posters via IMPA]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/how-about-two-more-red-band-clips-for-this-is-the-end-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/jonah-hill-is-possessed-in-a-new-clip-from-this-is-the-end-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/new-lone-ranger-trailer-features-more-johnny-depp-in-a-bird-hat-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
He needs Thompson’s sunglasses.
It is a great book. It had me with the bar that only serves beer, shots of rum, and burgers. I’m looking forward to this movie.
The music I’ve heard on the Rum Diary tv spots seems quite zany.
Yup, it has whistles – [www.youtube.com]
And Hayden Panetierrerre looks an awful lot like she’s taking a dump in that picture. She’s never looked better.
Two girls in haunted beds…ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! Looks like somebody messed up my order. HEADS WILL ROLL!
I love Carrie Ann Moss. She’s so cool. Sigh.
Oy, misses fancy a tumble in the alleyway?
Well, guvna, I’ve got fireflies in me garden, so’s it’ll have to be the back alley, eh?
Did anyone else read that as “The Shitter” after staring at dat ass? No? Just me? Okay then.
Just ’cause it’s called “The Son of No One” don’t mean I ain’t cha’boy no ‘mo, Y’HURD?
My God, it’s a slide show! The Sitter looks terrible. Did Jonah Hill lose 50 lbs in 50 days or film that in 2010?
I stand by my statement that Depp needs Thompson’s sunglasses, but he was probably buried with them, along with two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls.
In the trailers there’s a lady-assassin in an improbably low-cut dress for 17th century France. Not sure if she’s a slut. But probably.
Also, we need to talk about Kevin, because he keeps wearing nice dress shirts in the shower, and his tears have an unnaturally high surface tension. Like, crazy high.
On # 12, he better be careful swinging around that oddly-large microphone; he could hit her up’ the back of her head.
Seriously though, Vince, did you photoshop in that vulgar-looking microphone, at that angle, or was that really in the original poster like that?
Also in re: #12, is that guy trying to look Alaskan/Canadian with the ironic hat with flaps? Because I’m pretty sure anyone wearing that hat with a murse and man ugg boots is asking to get his ass kicked, and many’s the proud citizen of the great white North that would offer to oblige.
I’m very anxious to see Depp embody the good doctor again! Thompson influenced the past few generations with his invention of Gonzo Journalism. His work and antics will live on to influence even more generations to come. I paid tribute to Hunter S Thompson and his work with my portrait and article on my artist’s blog at [dregstudiosart.blogspot.com]
Is it odd to find #11 sexy?
Oh, is that a girl in the middle of #15. It looks like a girl.
The poster for the Lie is pretty weak but the premise of the movie is decent. Dude wants to call off work but his boss gives him some shit, so he lies, tells his boss his baby daughter died. Quirky indie high jinks and heart-warming indie life lesson ensue.
Is that really Al Pacino or did they just CGI the pock marks off Edward James Olmos?
Gaddammit 13, there’s no Ruger revolver with a cylinder that opens to the right. Why reverse the image when you’re not even using the other side of the poster?