Entertainment Weekly put The Avengers on the cover of their latest issue and released some official pictures of the cast in costume. They're mostly pretty boring and not nearly as entertaining as any of Chris Evans' facial expressions from the last batch of spy pics, but the one point of interest seems to be Mark Ruffalo's musky, lascivious portrayal of Bruce Banner. Most people are calling it blue steel, and such and such, and talking about how Mark Ruffalo is really, really, like, ridiculously sultry looking. But I get what he's going for. That's just his science face.
Science me. Science me raw.
"Don't look at his crotch, don't look at his crotch, don't look at his crotch-- DAMN IT!"
Outfit could be cleavagier, I think. Let's be honest, when you cast Scarlett Johansson as a tough Russian spy, we're not exactly going for believability.
At least Captain America is trying to fit in.
"Hey. Like, I'm here for the gangbang?"
"I keep bullets around my wrists. No, they don't fit in these guns, but they look ADORBZ, don't you think?"
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Renner looks like he wants to science me in a rest-stop bathroom.
Renner wants to hurt your locker.
I like the contrast between super happy Cartman and super serials everyone else. It’s like he’s photobombing the Avengers.
That ain’t blue steel, he’s auditioning to play Ruffalo Bill. “Would I science me? I’d science me so hard.”
ScarJo looks like she wants me to science myself.
Lindsay Lohan’s cooch just got cast as the Toxic Avenger. It’s a great part. The role, not her cooch.
And the bullet bracelets are totally chic. It’s like the contrast between feminine jewelry and masculine weaponry. Because she’s a lady but she’s also tough. It’s a metaphor. Get it?
*dismissive wanking gesture*
Re: Ruffalo–The Science of the Lambs.
/nailed it.
Actually, those aren’t bullet bracelets. They are high frequency electrostatic bolts “capable of stunning even a superhuman opponent at a range of at least 20 feet”
*adjusts glasses*
I think Ruffalo looks like that Doug Hutchison fella what married the child bride.
So, either way, statutory-esque.
I thought a girl was dismissive wanking the other day in the mall. It turns out she was just motioning for me to “come here”.
Renner looks like a bizzaro/fruity Randy Quaid. Puts a whole new spin on the line “The sh*tter was full!!”
Weird ssssscience
I look forward to the science-ification of future photoshops.
Kahless on a Kracker! Pic 2 of Thor is pretty qovlpathing FABULOUS!
By Odin’s Beard, what hideous plot has turned every background green! This must be the work of Loki!
*yawn/dismissive wank combo*
I hate EW, but I confess I kind of want to read that south Park feature.
Edward Norton got tired of playing Second Bananner.
I hope there’s going to be a good explanation for why Black Widow decided to swap out her long, curly locks for my mom’s haircut.
That cover is an utter clusterfuck.
And is Ruffalo giving us he best ‘Blue Steel’? Or is he actually going for ‘Magnum’?
The only sciene Ruffalo cares about is how much Rohypnol he needs to slip into your drink to make you forget about what he has planned.
Science!
*dismissive wanking motion with test tube*
Joss Whedon looks like Ron Howard if his face was held stationary and his head was rotated upside-down 180 degrees.
Don’t you love it how they put the “Puritan-esque” visage of the noble, virtuous Captain America right in front of ScarJo’s crotch? It’s as if they are DARING us to jack off to this cover!
*challenge accepted*
Captain America looks like he just tried to squeeze out a discreet fart and something wet came out.
Well, Bruce Banner definitely has that whole “Looking down while looking up” pose nailed. Essential for being a super hero.
HULK MAKE KUBRICK STARE LOOK DUMB ARRGHGHHRGHRGHR