Here’s a nice video of Madonna, in Venice to promote her near-universally panned sophomore directorial effort, W.E., receiving a huge flower from an adoring fan. A flower she quickly stuffs under a table and at which she naturally turns up her nose, rolling her eyes and saying, in her finest fake British accent, “I absolutely loathe hydrangeas. …He obviously doesn’t know that.”

BUGGA ME NORKS, GUV. NOW BE A GOOD BLOKE AND BRING DA LORRIE ROUND, ME AN DA PUNTAHS ‘AS GOT A FOOTY GAME TA CATCH, WE’S ‘AS!

To be fair, the second half of that sentence was actually Madonna being charitable. “This knave bears woefully unsuitable tribute, BUT! I AM A KIND AND JUST QUEEN! There’s simply no way his peasant mind could fathom how accustomed I am to being feted with nature’s most vivid expression of feminine beauty. So accustomed, in fact, that certain forms efflorescence, no matter how fresh, BORE her majesty to the point of NAUSEA AND REVULSION! But one cannot assail a prole for simple ignorance! ‘Twould be akin to prosecuting her majesty for worldliness and sophistication. SPARE HIM THE RACK! ALL SHALL HEAR OF MY MERCIFULNESS! FETCH ME MORE VIRGIN BLOOD FOR THE ROYAL VAGINA REJUVENATION RITUALS!”

Great lady.

[via AndyMartini]