
Because you needed a reminder of why you’re a dick for giving your girlfriend cash on her birthday, pint-sized Canadian pop star Justin Bieber spoiled the bejesus out of his twin sister girlfriend Selena Gomez on Friday. For starters, Biebs took Gomez to her friend (and cutter) Demi Lovato’s concert at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles, where they enjoyed her many hit songs such as “That One Song That Kids Like” and “Your Guess is as Good as Mine.”
But then J-Biebz, the inspiration for the world’s greatest Tumblr page (not counting my Miley Cyrus-inspired page, of course) turned the romance up a notch. He led Gomez to the Staples Center via a private tunnel, because he’s JUSTIN F*CKING BIEBER, and he revealed a table for two at center court, complete with steak dinners, because he’s JUSTIN F*CKING BIEBER.
The major date was inspired by a scene in the Adam Sandler flick “Mr. Deeds,” in which Sandler’s character surprises his date, Winona Ryder, with a date for two at Madison Square Garden. After the superstar couple’s meal, things got even more romantic when “Titanic” began playing on a screen in the arena.
(Via MTV)
Bieber also Tweeted a little advice to us losers who lack his mad skillz: “Romance isn’t dead. Treat your lady right fellas.” That’s right, bros and dudes, you should totes take advantage of your connections with arena owners and host ludicrous screenings of terribly overrated movies, because your woman expects it of you. Also, you should try to base all of your dates on awful Adam Sandler films and make sure you tell everyone that you wear girls jeans. Oh, and buy her a fake rack, too.
In reality, there’s only one thing a man should ever need to show his woman how much he loves her…



The only reason you’d rent out the Staples Center to watch an old movie is for some blowjob fantasy, not because you believe in romance.
Hey, that rope and ballgag was pretty damn romantic for His “anniversary special”!
licsGra-There is a difference between romance and blowjob fantasy? Citation needed.
All the arena sex jokes fizzle out when you remember Biebs is involved.
The security tape for this date is going to fetch millions. . . Unless the security guards were already paid as much to keep it in their vault.
In a related story, The Cheetah Girls rented a room at Extended Stay America and have been living there for the past few months.
Baby, I let you blow me in a crowded theater is the most romantic thing I’ve ever said to my wife.
OMG! You guys are all so transgressive and ironic.
@Ready
Are you a spam bot? This is the most post-modern spambot we’ve ever had.
@Max Power
There’s more than enough guys that would pay to watch those two rub clits together to beat those millions.
Is this where I make my request for
The Hooters
The Outfield
and more of The Hooters?
Actually, I’d like to see Extreme Hooters in The Outfield with half of Nelson.
@Vince
nope. also, your comment was hilarious and witty.
You really think someone making fun of Justin Bieber was trying to be transgressive or ironic? It seems pretty straightforward to me. Nor was I being transgrassive or ironic in pointing out that a person who leaves the same comment on three or four different posts, some of them months old, is generally a spambot.
I AM NOT IRONIC, I AM A UNICORN.
He should of used Billy Madison as inspiration. He could have totally pretended to piss his pants in order to impress the ladies.
This Biebs chap has really become a man’s man.
And that man is Bruce Vilanch.
Hopefully he’ll copy Sandler’s Jack and Jill soon. The Germans will be thrilled.
This summer Bieber will shit in Selena’s Eyes, Ears and Mouth.
.. Fuck you, you’ll watch it.
*singsong voice*
Look’s like someone’s getting his dick sucked toniiiiiiiiiiiiight!
(It’s Selena)
*sings*
My Bieber post brings all the trolls to the yard…
TOGETHER WE ARE IRONIC
Justin Bieber totes bulldozed her butthole while shooting a 3 pointer from half-court. It’s also his new tattoo. It means he fucked Selena Gomez in Hebrew.
holding onto the hope that one of Bieb’s body guards copycats Lil Bow Wow’s