Accompanying this week’s Comments of the Week post is another piece of Baby-Goose-inspired artwork courtesy of Mr. Magwich. As he says, “please pass this onto tom hardy’s people. it’s based on a screenplay i wrote that i want to get him and goose in on.”
I think I speak for most of us here when I say that I would totally watch that. Anyway, it’s time to name this week’s winner. But before we do that, a quick comments-of-the-week explanation: use the comments section of this post below to nominate a comment for next Sunday/Monday’s comments of the week. You can either bookmark this post, or it’s always linked in the sidebar on your right or at the bottom of my Morning Links post every morning. Now then. The Winner. This week, I gave the edge to Dingus, who was just a slight hobo’s c*nt hair above the rest, I thought.
[From World's Most Shocking Study Finds People Like Brad Pitt] Dingus says: “Americans may like Brad Pitt, but they don’t really care much for baseball anymore.”
That being said, this may be the biggest movie to ever open in Japan; it’s about baseball and math. They’re gonna love it.
[From James Cameron Bringing Avatar to Disney World] Dingus says: “The Na’vi are so pure in everything they do, valueing life to their utmost potential. i would so much rather leave this life style and world to live their ways in their world.”
I would much rather leave this world for the world of Game of Thrones, so I could push children out of windows and f*ck my sister.
Well done. Meanwhile, I have to pin the runner’s up ribbon on Patty Boot’s chest, mainly so I could “accidentally” graze her boob, but also for this comment:
From Drew Barrymore’s Whale Movie (in which I called John Krasinski “a real Wry-an Reynolds”):
Patty Boots says: Well said, Snark Griswold
Touché.
Honorable Mentions:
[From CBS Films Making The Hangover for Old People]
Stallonewolf says: We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the fiber began to take hold.
[From Lion King is Number One at the Box Office and "a 'Lion King' is when you put your thumb in a girl’s butt, then wipe it on her forehead and hold her over a cliff."]
Moose says: Sticking your thumb up a Catholic girl’s ass and then wiping it on her forehead in the shape of a cross is called an “Ass Wednesday”.
Yes, but as Tyler Durden tells us in Fight Club, “Sticking your thumb up a Catholic girl’s ass does not make you a chicken!”
[From Ryan Gosling to Quit Acting to Focus on Babies]
ChinoMoreno says: Haha! I don’t love you, birth control patches.
[From Moneyball Study/People Love Brad Pitt]
Larry says: I want you to hit the ball as hard as you can.
[From James Franco and the Dramatic Whisper]
Stinky Peet says: And in Citizen Kane, dicknose is a sled.
…played by Kirk Douglas.
Yeah, so one time on the Frotcast, Lindy West was drunk and somehow the subject of “Kirk Douglas’ corpse going down a log flume with a boner” came up. It’s a fun callback, because it never made any sense whatsoever.
[From Abduction Tracking 0% on RottenTomatoes]
GlennBeckHasAIDS says: “This is one alpaca that al-packs-a-punch!” – Pete Hammond
Panzerschwein says: “I know now why you cry. But it’s something I can never do.”
[Everyone looks on in horror as an alpaca is lowered into a pit of lava.]
And last but not least, from JGL Won’t Talk about Robin:
Erswi says: Went and saw a sneak of Moneyball last night. Here’s my abbreviated review: It didn’t suck and it got me out of the house and away from my kids for like 2 hours.
Stinky Peet says: Erswi: so Moneyball is like cheating on your wife with a Jewish girl?
Note: The views expressed by FilmDrunk commenters in no way reflect the opinions of its writers, parent company or advertisers. But come on, that little one-two punch had to give you a chuckle.
Anyway, here’s to another week of offensiveness and insensitivity. DRUNK ON.

Jew broads will suck as long as they aren’t your wife and you showed them a nice time.
Mazel Tov!
I can’t tell you how happy the Snark Griswold tag makes me.
I’m surprised that a great anti-Semitic joke made it to COTW and Dingus wasn’t the one responsible for it
Aw man, now I look like an ageist antisemite. This won’t be easy to fix.
* posts Youtube clip of himself laughing at a Mort Sahl monologue *
Vince Mancini: Dingus, you have won COTW. This is good, but what is best in life?
Dingus: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of Chino Moreno.
“Sticking your thumb up a Catholic girl’s ass does not make you a chicken!”
No, but sticking your thumb up a vegetarian’s ass gives you a green thumb.
Can I nominate Dingus’ comment (see above, re: Chino’s lament) for next week’s CotW, or is nominating a CotW comment for next week’s CotW a lit-BRRRAAAAAAAAAHMM
Good to see that after all these centuries, old Billy is still willing to stretch for a stupid pun.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Willy S
I miss Althea.
Yes, I am conceding the point that I am a narcissistic fuck, but I thought you guys would get a good chuckle out of this, and bringing it over to FD via cotw just seemed the kind of impudent I endorse:
[withleather.uproxx.com]
Dormammu (Him)
I got inspired by Chuck Palahniuk’s “Haunted”, and now I let the pool eat my ass out when I go to water-walking classes with all the old fat ladies!
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Burnsy
There was a time when this would have been treason. Where have you gone, Joe McCarthy?
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
First-
Willy S
You *can’t* stereotype the Juggalos. Most are motorvated, hard-working people. I met one that was f*ckin’ brilliant, with a photogenic memory and sh*t.
and then-
Crapbasket
So I was naked and chasing this dog around with a half boner and this hommie stopped me and was like, you are not high enough and handed me a bong that I massaged into my own asshole and filled with half digested Wendy’s chili and he was all cool with it. Life man, live it.
Crappy gave me a legitimate lol with that one.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com], Larry:
Schwarenegger calls his baby mama the Iron Lady.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Ragnarok
Uh-oh, Winnie! Looks like someone has his hand stuck in the honey pot!
Guess Who flies a spaceheap full of dishonoured Klingo0n souls around the universe and is apparently ghey for Ragnarok today?
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Ragnarok
Gary Busey once raced like a piss-horse.
Tale of the Busey that Bit Me–I thought this was a typo until I recognized the brilliance:
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Ragnarok
Gary Busey threw Tila Tequila at shit at the 2010 Gathering of the Busalos.
@Fek–re: on the Ragnacock–This guy! and Him!
No dagnabbit, the sheriff is a nigg-***BONG***
Dingus
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
There’s no niggatory in Juggaloism either, because black people don’t listen to that shit…
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
bigbluefly says: I think a better example of your point was movie Billy Beane’s relationship with movie Art Howe. The whole movie there’s conflict between them: Hoffman whining about a new contract and changing the lineup card without approval. None of that is in the book. In fact, the book says real-life Beane hired Howe because he would tow the line, and that’s exactly what he did in real life. Sorkin seems to have invented a disgruntled Art Howe character because Syn Field told him all good screenplays need conflict.
Homo Erectus says: So they spent lots of money to buy what they tought would be the most cost effective parts of a film and wound up with a mediocre result? Sounds pretty Moneyball to me.
Stranger in the Alps says: Producer: Hi, Mr. DePodesta, we would like to use your name and likeness for the Moneyball move. Brad Pitt will be staring.
DePodesta: Wow. That’s great! Brad Pitt as the young Paul DePodesta.
Producer: No no. Brad will be playing Billy. You will be played by the creepy fat kid from 40 year old Virgin. … Hello? Hello?
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Crapbasket:
The Scone Collector
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Larry
That ain’t blue steel, he’s auditioning to play Ruffalo Bill. “Would I science me? I’d science me so hard.”
2nd and amend with “Science of the Lambs”.
Nathan Implosion is a pretty hate machine on [filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
So let me get this straight: This guy left his job at AIG for something that wasn’t prison and now he’s actually got the balls to sue because he had to be a gofer?
Not that I want to defend the practice of unpaid internships, it’s basically white slavery, but this guy decided that training the next generation of Cobra Televipers wasn’t fulfilling enough but he’ll be FUCKED if he gets somebody to sign papers. This asshole is probably so full of himself that he cries a little every time he shits because “a little bit of [him] just slipped away.”
I don’t know if I’m allowed to nominate, but if I am this was magnificent:
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
nothingproductive
I’m pretty sure she’s half werewolf, half vampire and half Corey from Pawn Stars.
all my comments because i’m awesome:
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
there was more to that interview, vince. Seagal was like “So then I told Helio…You should try fighting off your back.”
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Steven Seagal flew with Sean Penn to meet Hugo Chavez on Justin Bieber’s private jet.
Crane Kick set those hikers free is what I’m saying.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Andy Serkis must be so confused…I could have sworn I saw one of those wolves beating off to a ring, and then in the next shot the wolf was freeing all the other wolves from their cages after rolling some of that smart dust canister’s by them. Also, Liam Neeson takes his sweater off and HE’S JAMES FRANCO.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Justin Bieber totes bulldozed her butthole while shooting a 3 pointer from half-court. It’s also his new tattoo. It means he fucked Selena Gomez in Hebrew.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
actually…TYLER LAUTNERS ABS IS JAMES FRANCO..played by ANDY SERKIS playing gollum as an undercover ape who is playing the wolves from The Grey with Liam Neeson…and Liam Neeson with his shirt off is JAMES FRANCO…But only when Steven Seagal takes his classic yellow lens glasses off.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Johnny R
What a shame man – that cat really held the store together.
Double_Pwnetration
You think the carpet pissers did this?
Double_Pwnetration
Misha was a good bowler, and a good cat. He was one of us. He was a cat who loved the outdoors… and bowling, and as a napper he explored the sidewalks of Southern Manhattan from Thompson Street to Washington Street Square and… up to… SoHo. He died, like so many young cats of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Misha. Misha, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Mishanald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Thompson Street sidewalk, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.