I’ve been in the blogging business long enough to know a winner when I hear one, and this concept is GOLD, JERRY, GOLD. Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure) is directing a script by Dan Fogelman (Fred Claus) about four retirees in Vegas for a bachelor party. The title? “Last Vegas.” Dear me, it seems my bow tie won’t stop spinning.
Jon Turteltaub is in negotiations to direct “Last Vegas” for CBS Films and Mandate Pictures.
Dan Fogelman penned the story of four best friends in their late 60s who decide to escape retirement and throw a Las Vegas bachelor party for the only one of them who remains single. [Variety]
Betty White as the hooker with a heart of gold or GTFO.
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“the hooker with a heart of gold”
Is there any other kind?
It speaks volumes about this movie that I have no idea which parts of the poster (if any) are the work of sir Penis.
Better have their Depends on if they happen by the fountain show at the Bellagio, that sound of all that water… going to be way awkward at the cab line when no one will take them.
Welcome to my mangy, toothless old wolf pack.
Betty White as the hooker with an artificial hip of gold.
The medications will get mixed up. On purpose if they’re anything like friends of mine.
How the hell do you “escape” retirement? “Alas, we’re rich white older men who don’t have to work!” Fuck you, you utter fucking fucks.
Goddammit all to hell! This totally sounds like a movie the idiot masses would go see, and add to that the geriatric demographic that has nothing better to do, and we’re guaranteed a sequel. I’m already pissing blood over the inevitably shit-stupid pun title that not only makes no sense, but also negates the whole concept of ‘last’ in the original’s title. Sweet cock-sucking Christ, we’re gonna end up getting Second to Last Vegas or even more inexplicably, Last Cancun. You motherfuckers.
Alternate title: The Hanglower
What’s the over/under on Viagra/unmanageable boner jokes?
HOW ARE THEY GOING TO HAVE A BUSINESS MEETING WITH THE JAPANESE IF THEY’RE RETIRED?!?!?!
Thanks to Alzheimers, what happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas.
In this case, the Thunder From Down Under relates to Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Alternate title: The Hanglower
So the trailer will be filled with kneeshots, right?
record scratch
Last Temptation with the Guys
Wait, Turtletaub directed The Sorcerer’s Apprentice too?!? Nvm…sounds legit.
You won’t see Betty White until the inevitable female-casted, Bridesmaids meets Old Dogs sequel, Golden Nugget Girls.
This sounds like the perfect film for Michael Douglas to get his Raul Julia on.
I don’t often make bold proclamations, but I feel confident that there will be absolutely no Viagra jokes in this.
So, Very Bad Things. Only the very bad things are the sounds coming from the bathroom.
Oh sonofabitch! Sorry Crappy.
Mickey Rooney as retired Ken Jeong or GTFO
If you have ever been to Vegas you know that all these geriatric slot monkeys are going to do is blow a month’s SS check at one machine and losing their mind if they get up to shit their pants in private and somebody sits at “their” machine while they’re gone.
Lap dances are pretty pointless when you’re wearing a diaper.
So you are taking the under?
” Hey!! No napping in the champagne room!”
Oh please tell me they’re casting the Cherry Coke Wizard himself, Robin Williams, in the Zach Galafianakis part, so my hate may be complete.
Stinky, I think it would be hilarious on the poster if they just shaved the outline of a baby in a Baby Bjorn into his chest hair.
This film is a worse idea than calling shotgun in Ryan Dunn’s car.
not that you can do that anymore. DD&D! (the joke is justified by the PSA)
This has Eugene Levy written all over it.
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the fiber began to take hold.
Is one of them gonna borrow his father-in-law’s Model T to drive there?
dream cast for this:
Nick Nolte, Rip Torn, Gary Busey and Tim Conway, you’re move hollywood
I Wiki’d CBS Films to scope out their filmography and it’s a list of things we mock. The Tiffany Network? More like the Shittany Network. BUUUCH!!
We’d gone in search of the retiree dream. It had been a lame fuckaround, a waste of time. There was no point in looking back. Fuck no, not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with acid reflux. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: a man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally incontinent
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than
a man in the depths of an Metamucile binge.
But if he’s been murdered by diabetes-pill dealeeeeeers
Well then we’re shit in our pants
Where was I going with this.
I am a 27 years old doctor,mature and beautiful. and now i am seeking a good man who can give me real love, so i got a sername Andromeda2002 on Agedate.СòM, a nice and free place for younger women and older men,or older women and younger men, to interact with each other.Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.