PREPARE FOR A CUMBERBATCHING MOST FIERCE!
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, an early frontrunner for the Oscars’ Stiffest Upper Lip award (ensemble), now has a full-length trailer. Directed by Let the Right One In‘s Tomas Alfredson, the Cold War spy story stars Gary Oldman, John Hurt, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, and, as if it couldn’t get anymore British, Benedict Cumberbatch, a name I don’t even feel comfortable saying without a powdered wig. FUN FACT: If you shut the lights and say “Benedict Cumberbatch” three times into the mirror, “Yakety Sax” starts playing and you have four minutes to catch the fox before he steals your Yorkshire pudding.
This has a great cast, but am I the only one bothered by the acute lack of Statham?
TOM HARDY: Wew, dahling, OY’m not a spoy. Praps it’s YOU oo’s da spoy.
THE STATH: Me, a focken spoy? Wew dat’s focken rich, innit, Tommy. Riddew me dis, cont: If oy wiz a spoy, would oy do dis? (*throws Cumberbatch through plate glass window, grinds rail on BMX*)
Could a spoy do a fousand push-ups? Not focken loikely, mate. An you kin tew oy ain’t been wearin’ a woire, cause oy lost moy shir’ free weeks ago, ‘asn’t Oy.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-rapture-palooza-starring-craig-robinson-and-anna-kendrick-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/About-Time-POster-150x150.jpg)
Cumberbitches, TALLY-HO!
*Motors away with Nathaniel G.*
I think it’s cute when English people pretend like they’re gangsters… but this, I don’t know. Were the English even participants in the Cold War?
Yes, I combined Nate Dogg and Warren G. They can’t afford both across the pond. Anyone care for a spot of failed imperialism?
From what I’ve read, the English just sat around on their tuffets drinking tea while Reagan kicked down the iron curtain on his horse.
Sadly, the fall of the Soviet Union created a power vacuum in the Middle East, which led to the rise of Islamic extremism, which in turn caused 9/11. Which you can read all about in my upcoming book, “Ronald Reagan Caused 9/11.”
Seeing this movie in theaters gives you a 5% chance of seeing Sean Connery come in and wreck up the place.
And a 2% chance of Pierce Brosnan banging your mom.
If I had a kitten, I’d name him Lord Benedict Cuddlebatch.
I think a business card that read, “Bennedict Cumberpatch, Tinker” would be kickass in a so-gay-it’s-straight kind of way.
Nah. Just re-read it and it’s still pretty heavy on the gay.
Meh, still unconvinced by this. I slobber on Gary Oldman’s wizened man-stick as much as the next bird rapist, but he’s no Obi Wan fucking Kenobi.
Hey, if it wasn’t for depraved British spies, the Russians would have been years behind in developing their nuclear capability and there wouldn’t have been much of a Cold War. So there. *Puts on bowler hat, climbs onto Penny Farthing, is kindly asked by Penny Farthing if he’d mind getting off her*
That’s a grossly unfair misrepresentation of history and you know it, Twinky. Partial credit has to be awarded to Hasselhoff, at the very least.
I love this site because everyday there is a discussion about something I can relate to. For example, last night I had dinner with my girlfriend. At one point I said, “Pass the cucumber,bitch.” Then I see this post today. Awesome!
Oh, Vince, we all know you haven’t landed that book deal yet. No need to feign success for our sake.
Old school bird rapists, witness, the Clin tone is trying to achieve the greatness of Geroge Washingto;
[failblog.org]
I’d say that the butler did it, but since everyone has a British accent it’s become impossible to tell which one is the butler.
Truly this movie is the epitome of mysteries.
Actually in terms of espionage Britain did a lot during the Cold War. The writer of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy John le Carre was a spy during the cold war and the events are largely based off of the real life Cambridge five who were recruited by the Russians from Cambridge. I mean we didn’t send 500,000 troops to Vietnam of sell weapons to Afghanistan but we drank a lot of tea and did a lot of spying. I hope they remake Smiley’s people as well
I actually think that was part of the script from Ballistic: Staffe vs. ‘Batch
..and why isn’t Lobster Dog or Vince Vaughn eating a hotdog not standing behind that fence too? Someone is fighting a hangover!
The Stath is setting up his own ensemble spy thriller with Danny Dyer, Frank Harper, and Vinnie Jones, Tink ‘er tail or I’ll kick ya feckin teef in.