This weekend was supposed to be the weekend we found out that putting an actor only girls like into a premise only guys like is as horrible an idea as that sounds, but it didn’t quite work out that way. True, Abduction opened in fourth behind Brad Pitt’s Moneyball and Marine Biologist Harry Connick Jr.’s Dolphin Tale, but its $11.2 million take still put it ahead of Killer Elite, which starred Jason Statham, Clive Owen, and Robert Deniro. So just in case Righteous Kill and Little Fockers weren’t big enough hits to Deniro’s credibility, we now know that when it comes to opening a film, he pales in comparison to the retarded kid from Twilight. Boy, he’s really spitting on his legacy now. With a bilious mixture of mostly-digested food from one of his three stomachs, depending on how agitated he is.

TWTitle
StudioWeekend Gross% ChangeTheater Count / ChangeAverageTotal GrossBudget*Week #
1The Lion King (in 3D)BV$22,130,000-26.6%2,330-$9,498$61,676,000-2
2MoneyballSony$20,600,000-2,993-$6,883$20,600,000$501
3Dolphin TaleWB$20,260,000-3,507-$5,777$20,260,000$371
4AbductionLGF$11,200,000-3,118-$3,592$11,200,000$351
5Killer EliteORF$9,500,000-2,986-$3,182$9,500,000$701
6ContagionWB$8,565,000-41.1%3,136-86$2,731$57,122,000$603
7Drive (2011)FD$5,771,000-49.1%2,904+18$1,987$21,425,000$152
8The HelpBV$4,400,000-32.4%2,695-319$1,633$154,444,000$257
9Straw Dogs (2011)SGem$2,100,000-59.0%2,408-$872$8,884,000$252
10I Don’t Know How She Does ItWein.$2,053,000-53.4%2,490+14$824$8,019,000$242

Oh, and a 3D re-release of an animated Disney film from 17 years ago in its second weekend beat the opening of a new Brad Pitt movie. But I’m not going to tell you that that means the sky is falling — people really love the Lion King. And to be fair, baseball is really boring, and the best way to spice it up probably isn’t math equations. Maybe next time, turn it into some post-apocalyptic future sport, where instead of a ball, the pitchers throw ninja stars, and the batter has to try to hit them with a big snake! “This summer, Vin Diesel, Nick Cannon, and Cam Gigandet star in…  SNAKEBASE!”

[chart via BoxOfficeMojo]