A few days ago, Netflix Co-Founder Reed Hastings announced that, in order to assuage consumer anger over their recent wage hike, they’d be splitting their streaming service and DVD service into two separate companies, Netflix (streaming) and Qwikster (DVDs, retarded names from the late 90s). Now Blockbuster, with the help of Landline TV, has announced that they’ll be diversifying their DVD rental business and their popcorn business into two separate entities: Blockbuster, which will still rent movies, and Plopydop, which will sell popcorn, which has been renamed Plopydop. You see? This business model is really catching on. In fact, in the wake of these announcements, I’ve decided that from this day forth, all writing will be done by me, Vince Mancini, while the other portion of the FilmDrunk business model — silly Photoshops — will now be created by an alter ego whom I’ve named Sir Penis Von Wienerheim.
Eh. Frankly, Sir Penis, I’ve seen better.
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If that alter ego gets out of hand, rat his ass out to the Romulans.
By Kahless’ Beard! The Mighty Feklahr better get His Ferengi lawyers rolling on that patent for a new medicated hemorrhoid cream: Polypdope!!!
Finally, if anyone buys popcorn from these baktags, He will find you and do something disturbing to a very specific part of your anatomy.
It’s funny because Blockbuster thinks it’s still relevant.
With enough butter, Val Kilmer would still eat the shit out of that Gyllenhaal head. Ah, who am I kidding? Save the butter for someone more discerning.
After my last check up my doctor told me that I needed to have some plopydops removed from my colon.
Hmmm, in South African slang dop means fail.
Please, call me Penis – or even “Peen”. Mr. Von Wienerheim is my father!
So Blockbuster is naming their product, multifail. Seems about right.
If Ploppydop would make perforated ‘trick’ holes at the bottom of their buckets, they would see sales skyrocket. Also, there should be a flap on the other side of the perforated hole to make sure that popcorn doesn’t spill when inserting and removing things from the hole.
an alter ego named Penis you say? Interesting.
Where’s the Keanu? I think he would be really sad about this…
No Vince, you started this trend by naming frotcast the filmdrunk podcast.
Polydope!
My dear… I’m diversifying my perineal and scrotal business so that we can concentrate on what each does best.
Introducing Taintster! New from Nutflix.