WEEKEND MOVIE GUIDE: Opening this weekend, we’ve got Rise of the Planet of the Apes (ROTPOTA!), The Change-Up, and Bellflower (NY & LA only).
ROTPOTA: Digitized Andy Serkis leads an ape insurrection in, ‘Apeheart,’ much to the chagrin of James Franco, handsome scientist.
RottenTomatoes: 79%
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
They probably should have called it “Beneath the Dignity of the Planet of the Apes,” but “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is tolerable if you’ll just keep in mind that the original feature was an overachieving B-movie. -Kyle Smith, NY Post
“This is sharp, thrilling summertime fun here, a movie that addresses its inherently ridiculous premise with a straight face and dares you not to take it seriously.” -Eric D. Snider, Film.com
“Retarded, but with flair, like my cousin, Mongoloid Ramón.” -Me, the Greatest Website in the World.
Armchair Analysis: Dude. They got an ACTOR to PRETEND TO BE AN APE to teach the animators how to draw an ape. Why am I the only one fascinated by this? That is the most deliciously absurd thing in the world. If only Andy Serkis, Creature Thespian, had been around during the making of Jurassic Park, he could’ve given the Tyrannosaur humanity and soul.
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I think you are “the only one fascinated by this” for the same reason as why you like Jonah Hex and accidentally gave yourself hot pepper dick while jerking it: you are a very talented and funny writer who is prone to random fits of retardation.
Unlike myself and most commenters here who are retards prone to random fits of humor.
How can someone make a movie so bad that even lovable folks like Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann and Jason Bateman can’t redeem it?
That’s like messing up slice-and-bake cookie dough. There’s no excuse for it.
Your armchair of Bellflower is dead on, brutha.
wow, my cousin’s review was quoted on filmdrunk, i feel famous now.
“I’d rather watch your mom take a crap.” me, commenter extraordinaire
A new Miranda July joint is out and I wasn’t told?
MLIbackandforth
Let me make sure I get this. Bellflower is like watching a stabbing. Nasty, scary, can’t really take your eyes away, but wish you could?
Wow Apes was surprisingly good…and regardless of what they used to animate him…you have to admit Caesar was pretty badass
I theorize that they used Mr.Sirkis because the apes are apes that are becoming human like. I hear Mr. Sirkis is a human and one with ape-like abilities, so there is a bit of an overlap.
Your armchair of Bellflower is dead on, brutha.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username Lindasunny2002 on–a’ge’l'es’s'da’te.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!
@cambobomb: rumor is on the set that the caterer’s table is ALWAYS out of bananas…..
I don’t know or care what a Bellflower is. I just want to see all three things in the headline happen at the same time.