
The Help was number one at the box office this weekend, and although America does love hot white chicks curing racism, a week-old movie in the top slot is always bad news for that weekend’s new releases. Spy Kids 4D, the dirty diaper edition grossed a third of the last Spy Kids movie and Bronan the Barbronian made just $10 million of its $90 million budget. Which brings me to my next point… how the f*ck did Conan cost $90 million and who decided that was a good idea? It had a cast of no-names and a bargain-bin director and still only cost $3 million less than Rise of Planet of the Apes, and that had Andy Serkis in his ping poll ball suit pretending to be chimp. Jesus, silly wigs must be more expensive than I thought. Fright Night was just short of Conan, but on a third of the budget (and may hold better, as Burnsy reports that it was actually pretty good). Meanwhile, Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess’s rom-com, One Day, debuted all the way down at number nine. Let this be a lesson to you, white people: never, ever rap about paparazzi. Unless you’re The Lonely Island, they can rap about anything.
| This Week | Last Week | Title | Studio | Weekend Gross | % Change | Theater Count | Average | Total Gross | Budget* | Week # | |
| 1 | 2 | The Help | BV | $20.479 m | -21.4% | 2,690 | $7,613 | $71.801 m | $25 | 2 | |
| 2 | 1 | Rise of the Planet of the Apes | Fox | $16.3 m | -41.4% | 3,471 | $4,696 | $133.764 m | $93 | 3 | |
| 3 | N | Spy Kids: All the Time in the World | W/Dim. | $12.02 m | - | 3,295 | $3,648 | $12.02 m | $27 | 1 | |
| 4 | N | Conan the Barbarian (2011) | LGF | $10 m | - | 3,015 | $3,317 | $10 m | $90 | 1 | |
| 5 | 4 | The Smurfs | Sony | $8 m | -41.7% | 3,057 | $2,617 | $117.745 m | $110 | 4 | |
| 6 | N | Fright Night (2011) | BV | $7.9 m | - | 3,114 | $2,537 | $8.3 m | $30 | 1 | |
| 7 | 3 | Final Destination 5 | WB (NL) | $7.705 m | -57.3% | 3,155 | $2,442 | $32.328 m | $40 | 2 | |
| 8 | 5 | 30 Minutes or Less | Sony | $6.300 m | -52.7% | 2,888 | $2,181 | $25.762 m | $28 | 2 | |
| 9 | N | One Day | Focus | $5.128 | - | 1,719 | $2,983 | $5.128 m | $15 | 1 | |
| 10 | 9 | Crazy, Stupid, Love. | WB | $4.95 | -29.8% | 1,940 | $2,552 | $64.42 m | $50 | 4 | |
But hey, maybe this will finally dampen Hollywood’s enthusiasm for sequels and remakes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
That was a joke, is what I’m trying to say.
[via BoxOfficeMojo]



Hey, at least Jason Momoa has Game of Thrones to fall back o-…
Oh, right. Never mind.
Maybe if CONAN had tried to be more than a misogynistic wish-fulfillment device for brain-dead bros then it might have ridden a wave of some kind of acclaim.
But sadly it will further set any quality R.E. Howard adaptation back a good decade or so. So fuck Marcus Nispel and Paradox Entertainment for screwing the pooch until it squealed.
Did they not use enough metal riffs in Bronan? I’ll bet it was the lack of metal riffs.
That budget’s not as shocking when you take into account the cost of Jaegermeister and Red Bull these days.
I think the bigger question is how was Bronan not taken as a bomb pic? Did they only just release the budget numbers yesterday?
Guess this means they aren’t going to be bringing Momoa’s fan fiction to the big screen. Such a shame. That movie would probably be even more hilariously nonsensical.
Don’t worry, guys. This is officially the end of the summer schlockfest and now we can look forward to six straight months of Oscar coverage.
What went wrong, did the bodies miss the floor?
You Can’t pop your collar if you’re not wearing a shirt, Brobot.
So who won the BO pool?
Yeah… I probably should’ve provided an update on that. I narrowly beat Brendan:
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
jerk off couch, never leaving the room, working in your undies, guaranties you win the B.O.
It costs at least 90 million dollars to make Rose McGowan look so ugly I wouldn’t want to fuck her. That, or hearing her speak.