In case anyone was looking for Josh Hartnett, I found him. He’s been here all along, hiding behind this creepy mustache.
08.10.11 at 5:13 pm
FalseRumorsDotCom
What’s with the font on that second “Drive” poster? Was it ripped out of Tiger Beat?
::scours magazine rack looking for latest Tiger Beat::
08.10.11 at 5:17 pm
Blamco Mac and Cheese
Wait, “Bringing Up Bobby” is written and directed by Famke Janssen? Are there any mutants in it? Is Bobby a mutant?
08.10.11 at 5:19 pm
av
I’d make a Sarah Jessica Parker – horseface comment, but I think those jokes are really beating a dead….um…. horse.
08.10.11 at 5:28 pm
Stranger in the Alps
“Killing Bono is based on a true story? Not true enough, it would seem.”
He missed and hit Pete Postlehwaite apparently. F**ker.
08.10.11 at 5:32 pm
Patty Boots
“From Executive Producers Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson”
Aaaaaawkwaaaaaaard.
08.10.11 at 5:33 pm
JPfromtheB
I don’t think it’s any mistake that the “Battleship” looks like it might just be sinking. (see: upside-down American flags in “Poseidon”)
08.10.11 at 5:40 pm
Mo Charlo
I like how the supports of the building they’re standing on in Tower Heist are buckling under Gabourey Sidibe’s weight.
08.10.11 at 5:44 pm
Mr. Teeny
WTF is up with that “Timothy Green” movie? It’s like someone saw “Pet Sematary” and thought, “Hmm, I wish that had been more heartwarmingly terrifying”.
08.10.11 at 5:48 pm
Mo Charlo
“All She Can” involves a weightlifter at the University of Texas. Which means it MUST include a cameo of Jeff “Mad Dog” Madden.
Here’s the message I got from the Timothy Green trailer:
Drop your white stuff into her box all you want, you won’t get a kid unless she lets you stick it in her mud-hole.
08.10.11 at 5:57 pm
spazmodic
That’s funny… “When Slopes Attack!” was one of the rejected taglines for Pearl Harbor.
08.10.11 at 6:12 pm
Cash Bailey
Having the TOWER HEIST poster on a slant like that is the only way they can fit Precious’s fat ass onto it.
08.10.11 at 6:13 pm
Jack Burton
Dear God YES! I have no idea what that shit’s about but I’m there. And I’m not happy we didn’t get a “Michael F. Assbender” this week.
08.10.11 at 7:27 pm
Alcoholics Gratuitous
Christ my neck hurts.
I guess Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller have finally teamed up to prove once and for all who the bigger sellout is. Adam Sandler makes a guest appearance.
I’m guessing that the Sarah Jessica Parker movie is about being a busy woman. They forgot to add “bitching about things” and “turning men gay.”
I like the Road Meets Sun poster. I want to see that now. The other 37 didn’t work.
08.10.11 at 7:29 pm
galwaygirl
If a coupla world wars didn’t make the Brits quit that whole stiff upper lip thing, I doubt you have much luck
08.10.11 at 8:43 pm
Dean Machine
Hey girl, I know this picture is diagonal, but don’t worry girl, I think you’re beautiful from all angles
08.10.11 at 10:25 pm
Moose2000
The Jude Law poster looks like a British Jello shot…
Tom Hardy makes my latent homosexual urges all that much harder to keep secret from live-in thirteen year old Thai ladyboy servant I have locked in my house.
Poster 17: Todd Solondz+Chris Walken is like some twisted dream I haven’t had yet. I wonder who’ll be cast as the inevitable child molester?
08.11.11 at 12:02 pm
Panda Rape
If only Gwyneth would listen to the advice at the top of that poster.
08.11.11 at 2:58 pm
DancingBaptist
1) Tea Leoni. Hot, balls deep, Rex Grossman-type sex with her.
2) Sarah Jessica Parker. Yes, how DOES she keep getting film roles?
08.12.11 at 3:47 am
sillysmile
I guess Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller have finally teamed up to prove once and for all who the bigger sellout is. Adam Sandler makes a guest appearance.
I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on—a’ge’l'es’s'da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your friends.
08.14.11 at 10:53 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, I wear these gloves so I can keep my hands on the wheel to keep you safe. And because I my other hand is up my pooper, massaging my hemorrhoid.
08.14.11 at 10:54 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, my hemorrhoid just burst. I need disinfectant and a hug right now almost as much as I need your love.
08.14.11 at 10:56 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, I know I’m putting a lot of messages on your machine and that last one was gross, but think about this: making love to me is like fucking a puppy on a cloud made of dead kittens.
08.14.11 at 10:57 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, that came out wrong, like when I jizzed special sauce on the hamburgler’s face.
08.14.11 at 10:58 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, I’m gonna stop talking now, but my love for you will never stop, much like my erection which has lasted for more than four hours.
08.14.11 at 10:59 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Hey girl, I’m gonna contact my physician immediately.
08.14.11 at 11:07 pm
Zombie Jesus X
Timothy Green turns out to be violent midget hooker for pedophiles, which is what happens when you let Disney grow your child.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/snow-003-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/BoxOfficeTable-150x150.jpg)
In case anyone was looking for Josh Hartnett, I found him. He’s been here all along, hiding behind this creepy mustache.
What’s with the font on that second “Drive” poster? Was it ripped out of Tiger Beat?
::scours magazine rack looking for latest Tiger Beat::
Wait, “Bringing Up Bobby” is written and directed by Famke Janssen? Are there any mutants in it? Is Bobby a mutant?
I’d make a Sarah Jessica Parker – horseface comment, but I think those jokes are really beating a dead….um…. horse.
“Killing Bono is based on a true story? Not true enough, it would seem.”
He missed and hit Pete Postlehwaite apparently. F**ker.
“From Executive Producers Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson”
Aaaaaawkwaaaaaaard.
I don’t think it’s any mistake that the “Battleship” looks like it might just be sinking. (see: upside-down American flags in “Poseidon”)
I like how the supports of the building they’re standing on in Tower Heist are buckling under Gabourey Sidibe’s weight.
WTF is up with that “Timothy Green” movie? It’s like someone saw “Pet Sematary” and thought, “Hmm, I wish that had been more heartwarmingly terrifying”.
“All She Can” involves a weightlifter at the University of Texas. Which means it MUST include a cameo of Jeff “Mad Dog” Madden.
P.S. Jeff “Mad Dog” Madden is all of our dads.
Reference: [grfx.cstv.com]
Here’s the message I got from the Timothy Green trailer:
Drop your white stuff into her box all you want, you won’t get a kid unless she lets you stick it in her mud-hole.
That’s funny… “When Slopes Attack!” was one of the rejected taglines for Pearl Harbor.
Having the TOWER HEIST poster on a slant like that is the only way they can fit Precious’s fat ass onto it.
Dear God YES! I have no idea what that shit’s about but I’m there. And I’m not happy we didn’t get a “Michael F. Assbender” this week.
Christ my neck hurts.
I guess Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller have finally teamed up to prove once and for all who the bigger sellout is. Adam Sandler makes a guest appearance.
I’m guessing that the Sarah Jessica Parker movie is about being a busy woman. They forgot to add “bitching about things” and “turning men gay.”
I like the Road Meets Sun poster. I want to see that now. The other 37 didn’t work.
If a coupla world wars didn’t make the Brits quit that whole stiff upper lip thing, I doubt you have much luck
Hey girl, I know this picture is diagonal, but don’t worry girl, I think you’re beautiful from all angles
The Jude Law poster looks like a British Jello shot…
Bakkake>Bunraku
Killing Bono? A tree did that!
The Road Meets the Sun Meets Pretentious.
P.S.:[www.impawards.com]
Tom Hardy makes my latent homosexual urges all that much harder to keep secret from live-in thirteen year old Thai ladyboy servant I have locked in my house.
Poster 17: Todd Solondz+Chris Walken is like some twisted dream I haven’t had yet. I wonder who’ll be cast as the inevitable child molester?
If only Gwyneth would listen to the advice at the top of that poster.
1) Tea Leoni. Hot, balls deep, Rex Grossman-type sex with her.
2) Sarah Jessica Parker. Yes, how DOES she keep getting film roles?
I guess Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller have finally teamed up to prove once and for all who the bigger sellout is. Adam Sandler makes a guest appearance.
I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on—a’ge’l'es’s'da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your friends.
Hey girl, I wear these gloves so I can keep my hands on the wheel to keep you safe. And because I my other hand is up my pooper, massaging my hemorrhoid.
Hey girl, my hemorrhoid just burst. I need disinfectant and a hug right now almost as much as I need your love.
Hey girl, I know I’m putting a lot of messages on your machine and that last one was gross, but think about this: making love to me is like fucking a puppy on a cloud made of dead kittens.
Hey girl, that came out wrong, like when I jizzed special sauce on the hamburgler’s face.
Hey girl, I’m gonna stop talking now, but my love for you will never stop, much like my erection which has lasted for more than four hours.
Hey girl, I’m gonna contact my physician immediately.
Timothy Green turns out to be violent midget hooker for pedophiles, which is what happens when you let Disney grow your child.