
The 68th Venice Film Festival begins tomorrow, and the 11-day event will be highlighted by tomorrow’s highly-anticipated premiere of The Ides of March, a political drama starring George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, and a few thousand pairs of moist panties. Clooney and Baby Goose will hit the red carpet in Venice for the debut, and they’ll be followed by co-stars Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman, who will undoubtedly be pelted with rotten vegetables for being so damn unattractive.
Ides will be up against 22 other films for the festival’s Golden Lion award, but there’s no chance that any of them will have a cast as handsome as this. Even if Brad Pitt played every character in Moneyball, it wouldn’t hold a candle to The Ides of March. People keep talking about Madonna’s directorial effort W.E., starring James D’Arcy, but he sure as hell couldn’t break up a fight over artwork in the middle of a street.
Sadly, us ugly people can’t see Ides until October 7, so we’ll just have to hope that when the beautiful people step outside to have their rings kissed and velvet capes stroked, they’ll tell us of the spectacle that they witnessed, undoubtedly in something called 5D, since they were given 7 senses by the gods. Oh to be beautiful. In the meantime, I’ve included the trailer after the jump, and you can feel like royalty as you watch it while drinking a St. Ides Special Brew. Pinkies out.



Hey girl, it was really ME behind that magazine! Word jokes are educational AND fun!
That picture creeps the f*ck out of me.
Don’t you try to tell ME what gets my panties wet! It’s NOT these two! The Cloontang is soooo over and Baby Goose does nuttin’ for noone! Hell yes, I went there!
and no, I have nothing neitther funny nor interesting to say today…
Baby Goose: The Beginning
[www.youtube.com]
…and neither actually has 3 t’s…
Sorry, sorry everyone!
Baby Goose + Silver Fox = Cougar Bait
Clooney and Baby Goose can hit this red carpet
*points to crotch*
This poster: .5 Baby Goose.
Current Esquire cover: 2 Baby Geese.
Winner: you, girl.
Hey girl, you’ve got a 100% approval rating in my latest poll.
Funny, Philip Seymour Hoffman makes me wet.
(flop sweat when I accidentally catch myself in a mirror a few weeks after they start selling halloween candy and I realize I’m morphing into him)
Oh, do you think Baby Goose will bring Patches? That’s really the only way you could improve Baby Goose and Clooney in tuxes.
So, Gosling stabs Clooney on the Senate floor? WHILE WEARING A TOGA???!!!
Hey girl, you can ask any question at my town meeting. Information is key to voting.
Hey girl, I’m going to start a welfare fund for under-hugged teddy bears.
It has everything: white with blue eyes and white with brown eyes.
Filibuster? Hey girl, I hardly know her!
That picture is like People’s Sexiest Man Alive cover for the past 10 years. Half the time it’s some handsome young up and comer and half the time it’s George Clooney.
So when are they going to create something that combines the Most Interesting Man in the World and the Man Your Man Should Smell Like from the old spice ads? Now that’s bank, baby.
Hey girl, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask me instead, because I’d do anything for you.
It’s ok, eventually they’ll realize their oversight and rename it the Vince Film Festival.
I prefer to stroke velvet carpets, but only if they match the drapes.
Funny, Philip Seymour Hoffman makes me wet.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username Lindasunny2002 on–a’ge’l'es’s'da’te.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!
My advice: Beware the Ides of March.